The Real Werewives of Vampire County

“Here?” Lucien asked. “In Eternal Life Estates?”

She nodded. “While I was waiting on the porch. But he didn’t go home.”

“Where’d he go?” I asked, as we pulled up to Bliss’s house, ready to spring into action. By the expression on Tia’s face, I already knew.

“I love when a plan comes together,” Vinny said, cocking his shotguns like a Wild West cowboy.

“You call this a plan?” I asked, on Lucien’s heels.

Oh sure, we had Bliss and Gaston in one spot. “It also means we’re about to barge in on a pissed-off weretiger and a bloodsucking vampire—no offense, sweetie.”

“None taken,” he said, as we stalked to the front door, using the dense foliage as coverage. “I think our biggest consideration is that I’m still weak.”

“And I can’t shift,” I said, “not so soon after interrogating.”

Lucien gave me a long, concerned look as we waited for Vinny and Tia.

I held up my hands. “Hey, I can’t change my nature.”

He should know that by now.

“Here, babe,” Vinny said, handing Tia a shotgun.

Oh yeah. That was a good idea.

“Ready?” Lucien murmured, right before he rushed the door and kicked it in.

I sprinted after him with Vinny on my heels.

By the time I got there, Lucien was locked in combat with a white-haired vampire. In the split second it took for me to assess the situation, Bliss tackled me from behind.

My head smacked the ceramic floor and my vision swam.

Yip-yip-yip!

I turned over to see Chi-Chi launch herself at Bliss’s neck. The tiger slapped the dog away. She yelped as she slammed against the wall, but it was enough time for me to unsheathe my dagger. It sliced Bliss across the chest and she roared.

Bliss shifted, lowering her head as tiger fur raced down her back.

Vinny fired his shotgun, blowing Gaston off of Lucien. I stood, wiping blood out of my eyes.

Gaston hissed, fangs bared. Lucien was pale and bloody. He launched himself at the white-haired vampire, but Gaston dodged, tossing Vinny through the front window. His body smashed through the glass.

“Heather!” Tia screamed as Bliss readied to pounce.

I fired my pistol once. Twice. My silver bullets didn’t even slow her down. The wounded tiger kept coming. She was after blood now and there was nothing I could do.

Vinny was out. Lucien was locked in his own life-or-death battle. Tia crouched in the corner.

“Tia!” I screamed as Bliss landed on me like a two-ton brick. I pulled out my lucky boot knife, sinking it into her chest as she hit me. She kept coming. I hit the floor, rolling with her to keep her from taking out my neck, but it was just a matter of time. Only seconds.

My fingers gripped her coarse fur. It felt like time slowed as her sinewy muscles moved under my hands. She was a killing machine.

I waited for the end as blood spurted across my face. At first, I thought it was mine and I marveled at how I didn’t even feel any pain.

The tiger roared and fell backward. A large brown wolf had it by the neck.

I shot Bliss with my stun gun and reached for the last thing I had—mace—for all the good it would do us.

But Tia had the tiger in a death bite. Blood poured from the animal’s neck.

“E-yah!” I turned just in time to see a bloody Vinny move up behind Gaston and stake the vampire in the back with a broken windowpane.

I stood for a moment, in shock, as Vinny helped Lucien pick his way through the pulpy mess formerly known as Gaston. Meanwhile Tia was using the tiger for a chew toy. I wiped my dagger on the curtains and resheathed it.

Yip-yip-yip!

“You okay, Sparky?” I scooped up Chi-Chi and together we surveyed the damage. Someone was going to need the services of about a dozen Vinnys in French maid costumes to clean up this place.

Gaston was clearly no more, which was a shame. I would have liked some answers. Then I saw a hairy tiger paw twitch.

“Tia, hold back.”

The werewolf growled.

“Oh yeah, now you get pushy.”

“What is it?” Lucien asked behind me.

“I think Bliss is alive.”

Between Lucien, Vinny, and me, we managed to tempt Tia away from her prey. Actually, it was Chi-Chi’s idea. We used the steaks from the refrigerator, on a white plate for presentation. Tia was a sucker for white.

Bliss shifted back to human faster than any of us expected, but she was still weak enough that we managed to handcuff her to a pole in her garage.

I leaned against a silver Bentley while we waited for the Vampire Council police to arrive.

Bliss was blubbering by this time, although more for her vampire lover, it seemed, than for herself.

“He was the only man who ever loved me,” she sobbed, clutching the housedress we’d thrown around her.

I almost felt sorry for her.

Almost.

Gaston was not only a drug dealer, he was also a cheat.

“He had a wife,” I reminded her.

“He didn’t love them!” she wailed. “He was impulsive. He didn’t mean to marry them!”

Say what? “Exactly how many wives are we talking about?”

“Only eight”—she sniffled—“mostly in Europe.”

“Busy guy,” Vinny said, feeding Chi-Chi yet another slice of steak.

She stared off dreamily. “He was supposed to take me to Italy next month.”

I snorted. “Watch out for blue pills.”

“You might not be too far off,” Lucien mused. “What if he put them to sleep while he was gone?”

“That’s sick,” I said.

“Makes cheating easier if wifey doesn’t know you’re gone. We’ll have to investigate further, but I’ll bet some of these women are literally sleeping their lives away.”

“You’d think they’d know.” I’d know if I was married to a seven-time bigamist. I hoped. I felt my gaze harden as Tia strolled up to the weeping tiger.

Blood streaked her arms and she wore a pale pink dressing gown Vinny had found in one of the closets. “My Thomas found out about the drug, didn’t he?”

“He was high and mighty about it. He wanted to spill the whole thing to shareholders. Gaston didn’t kill him,” she said, as if that made a difference.

“No, he just put him to sleep,” I said.

“What are the side effects?” Tia demanded. “How do I bring him back?”

“I don’t know. You could ask Gaston but you killed him!” Bliss collapsed into another round of sobbing.