The Wanderer
“I just think it’s weird,” she said. “And I bet you’re having sex!”
“I bet you’re not going to find me willing to discuss my sex life with you in this lifetime,” he snapped back.
“You mean you have a sex life?” she asked.
“For the love of Christ,” he muttered. “Lou! Where’s your aunt Lou?”
“She’s watching Designing Women reruns in her bedroom,” Eve said. “Does she know?”
“I’m sure she does,” he said. “Listen, take it easy. I don’t see how my life or your life is going to change much if I’m dating Gina. We’ll still do all the school things together, I’ll still have coffee with her at the diner when I’m free, we’ll still have some holidays together, but I might get to hold her hand sometimes or put my arm around her or...”
“Or?” she asked, arching one judgmental brow at him.
“Or make out like rock stars, like you and Landon do! You know, if I’d given you this much static about dating someone, you would’ve gone ballistic! Why doesn’t anyone tell single fathers about raising teenage girls? What’s the matter with you? You love Gina!”
“I just don’t want our family to go through another big, horrible thing—moving, starting over, all that. Don’t you remember?”
God, he thought. She remembers?
“Of course I remember,” he said. “Honey, you were only six when your mom left and what you probably don’t remember is that she was very young and very unhappy. Gina’s no kid. She’s very stable and sensible. And she loves you. I’m sorry about your mom, but I did everything I could.”
Big tears welled up in her eyes, but didn’t fall. “I know,” she said.
Mac cursed himself. He could be an idiot on so many levels. It had never occurred to him that a relationship might frighten Eve, that she still had some residual trauma from losing her mother the way she did.
He got up, went to the couch, sat next to her and put an arm around her. “Listen, honey, you have nothing to worry about. Everything is going to be fine. Gina’s a good person, I’m a good person. Both of us put our kids first. Try to relax and enjoy seeing everyone happy. Maybe I finally found someone to sit in the truck with me while I spy on you kids on the beach, huh?”
She gave a little huff of laughter. “Kind of took me by surprise,” she said.
“I don’t know why. We’ve been best friends for years.”
“Yeah, best friends going nowhere. I never saw this coming.”
“Then you’re just about the only one. Word I got around town is that people were wondering what was taking me so long.” He gave her a squeeze and laughed. “I know we tend to disagree sometimes...wildly disagree sometimes. But you should know I’d never do anything that would risk your sense of security. Your needs have always come first, Eve. You, Ryan and Dee Dee—always first.” He shrugged. “But, angel, your old dad can use a little companionship, too.”
She leaned against him and said, “I guess.” He smiled to himself. She thought he was older than dirt. At thirty-six!
“Is Ash all worked up about this?”
“No. She thinks it’s very cool. She said if we play our cards right, we can be sisters. Real sisters.”
“Or, without playing any cards at all, you can be as close as sisters for as long as you want to.”
“I know that,” she said, snuggling closer.
He held his little girl for a while, remembering too well what she was like right after Cee Jay left, how she cried and wet the bed, how she rushed home from school every day to see if her mother had come home, how she stopped playing with the other kids on the playground but had an elaborate fantasy life in her bedroom with her dolls, playacting all kinds of complex scenarios about missing mothers. He took her to some counseling available through social services and she came around, adjusting to their strange life of a dad, three kids and aunt. He had to quit one of his jobs, move in with Lou, juggle a million things—but it worked. Finally there was no fighting, no angst, no crying.
And he got used to being lonely.
He didn’t want to be lonely anymore.
* * *
An hour later Lou passed through the living room holding a cup of tea. “It’s going to require a short period of adjustment. It’ll be fine.”
“Either you heard or she told you,” he said.
“A little of both,” she said with a shrug. “I’m glad you and Gina are being honest. I can say, from experience, keeping secrets really never works.”
“Lou, do I need to talk to her about sex?”
“Oh, for the love of God! Really, Mac, whether you’re having sex is none of her—”
“Not that, Lou, not that. She’s sixteen. She’s beautiful. She’s got a boyfriend. We’ve had some talks but I don’t want Eve at risk.” He rubbed his chin. “It’s not my idea of a good time, but I can do it.”
She smiled at him. “Gotcha covered, Yummy.” He frowned darkly and she sat on the couch. “Eve and I have had many talks. She understands her parents were hot to trot and got started a little too young and even though the result was three beautiful children, too young can be too hard and can end badly. I told her if she ever wants to visit my gynecologist, a very kind and discreet woman, I will make an appointment, no questions asked. Eve’s a very smart girl and she has high standards.”
“I don’t mean to just leave those kinds of things with you, Lou.”
“I know. But I know how kids think, probably better than you do. And girls usually feel more comfortable talking to women. But by all means, if you want to have that discussion...”
“I might,” he said. “I might. Not right away, though. Right now she’s a little freaked-out to think of me dating her best friend’s mother.”
“Listen, Mac, this is a good problem. Eve will be fine. Just take a breather, huh? Try and enjoy life a little. Don’t overthink this and mess up a good thing. You’ve put your life on hold for a lot of years and you have my admiration. But really, any longer and you’d become a stoic.”
Nineteen
Cooper had a good visit with his family. He knew he had inconvenienced them by showing up two weeks before Christmas when everyone was very busy. But his three sisters, their husbands, two nieces and two nephews managed to coordinate a number of short visits here and there, and two big family meals at his parents’ house. When it was just the adults gathered around the table after dinner, he told them about the bait shop and the renovation he was undertaking so he could sell. He didn’t say how much land was attached.
Then he told them he’d been seeing someone.
It wasn’t at that precise moment that he realized the reality of his situation with Sarah, but that nudged him ever closer to the truth. He privately acknowledged that, like a teenage boy, he had to talk to her every day. He texted her little snippets and phoned her at night. The only time she didn’t answer his call was when she was flying, and then she called him back.
He needed her.
When he got back to Thunder Point he was already up to speed on the local gossip. The recent romantic development between Mac and Gina had Sarah’s attention, but Cooper had been more interested in the ongoing situation with the Morrison family. From rumor, it sounded like that family had imploded, leaving behind an empty house surrounded by an ostentatious fence. Foreclosed, the rumor went.
Sarah was working when Cooper got back, so he checked in with the deputy. When he stopped in the small, storefront office, Mac was on the phone, so he waited patiently by the door. He noticed Ben’s old laptop sitting on the desk. Then the deputy put down the phone and stood up.
“Welcome back,” he said, smiling and sticking out his hand.
“So, I turn my back for five minutes and you decide to improve on your love life,” Cooper said, extending his own hand.
“Well hell, they don’t call me speedy for nothing.”
Cooper let out a laugh. “They call you—”
Mac put up a hand. “Friends don’t let friends say dangerous things.”
Cooper grinned. “It’s good to be back. Did you run off the Morrison clan?”
“I’d love to take credit for that, but I think they just came to the end of the line. It’s been no secret that business hasn’t been so good for brokers and developers around the state but I think the consensus was that Puck had more money than he knew what to do with and was untouched by the recession. Puck left first. He’s back in Eugene. His sons by his first marriage might’ve taken him in. Then Mrs. Morrison and Jag moved on.”
“So the town bully isn’t in town anymore?” Cooper asked.
“The only thing I can really tell you about that is that he was instructed to make amends to Landon in order to get back into Thunder Point High and he refused, so his suspension turned into an expulsion. That doesn’t mean he isn’t around. Continued vigilance is recommended.”
“Did he get into any trouble over that domestic? Hitting his dad?” Cooper asked.
“His court date is coming up. This will be his second offense and while he might not get the punishment he deserves, it’s pretty damn clear he’s a violent kid. And his badass self is almost eighteen. I don’t think the court is going to pamper him. And the next time he pulls something, it’s going to be bleak for him.”
“Well, that’s something, I guess,” Cooper said. “Jesus, what’s the matter with that imbecile? He must have grown up with ten times what most of the other kids around here have.”
“Maybe that’s what’s the matter with him,” Mac said. “I spend a lot of time feeling rotten that I can’t give my kids more. Maybe I should rethink all that guilt. Maybe they’re better off. At least they’re not ungrateful little bastards.” Then he laughed. “It takes so little to make them happy. I’m going to work on remembering that.”
“You have good kids, Mac,” Cooper said. He nodded toward the laptop. “Find anything on there?”
“I gave it to a forensic IT unit the department uses and they went through it and made a copy of the hard drive. I hope you gave permission for that because I said you did.”
“Sure. But why didn’t you do that in the first place?”
He shook his head. “Homicide and the coroner and the assistant D.A. went through the bait shop, and there was a postmortem. There was no evidence of foul play.” He shrugged. “And I have no idea if they found anything on the laptop, but their team can look at even the deleted and destroyed material. They’re spooky.” He lifted the laptop and opened it. “I did find something. I wondered if you noticed it, too.”
He leaned a hip on the desk, balanced the laptop on his thigh and fired it up. He opened it and scrolled through email. It took a few minutes and he muttered, “Getting there...” Then he said, “Ah! Got it. He saved this. Do you remember this? It’s four years old and might explain a few things about this arrangement you have with your friend’s bait shop.”
He turned the laptop around and handed it to Cooper.
I think I’ve had about enough of this place. Time to head out and find something new. I think I’d rather have an eagle’s nest than a lot of corporate bullshit. Coop
Wandering yet again?
That seems to be my MO. I get restless real easy.
But don’t they pay you a lot of money? Why not just do the job for a few more years for the money? Find a place to settle down. They give you bonuses. Trust me, the eagles aren’t real big on bonuses! Ben
I don’t know. Chasing money for the sake of money... It’s soulless. There’s got to be more to life than that. Cooper