The Wanderer
She looked up at him and said, “What have you done?”
He turned her toward him. “I did what I thought might make a good Christmas for you and Landon. And it made me happier than anything I’ve done in a long time.”
* * *
Cooper had everything he wished for. He mixed up cheesy potatoes from the box, got his green bean casserole ready, rolls from Carrie’s deli were on the counter and the ham was on the counter, coming to room temperature for later. And to make an afternoon near perfection, Landon took his new/old RZR to the McCain household where he planned to give rides all afternoon. And so Cooper was able to exercise his greatest desire by sneaking into Sarah’s bedroom and curving around her small, sleeping form, pulling her close.
She turned in his arms and faced him, blinking open her eyes. “I bought you a sweater and you bought us a vehicle and a couple of paddleboards and wet suits worth many hundreds of dollars.”
“Best Christmas of my life,” he said, kissing her forehead.
“Best Christmas of Landon’s life, for sure.”
“He’s going to spend months praying for an early spring,” Cooper said.
“You’re getting too involved,” she said.
“You’re staying too afraid,” he pointed out. “It’s going to be okay, Sarah.”
“I hope so.”
“Trust me.”
A few days after Christmas, Sarah and Cooper met Mac and Gina for a nice dinner at Cliffhanger’s, their first official double date—no aunts, mothers, kids or dogs.
“I never thought I’d see the day,” Gina said.
“There certainly aren’t enough of them,” Sarah agreed.
“Well, listen, I realize this is very last-minute,” Gina said. “We’re having a New Year’s Eve thing at the house. It’s for the kids, really. It’s a way of keeping Eve and Ashley from doing something stupid with their stupid boyfriends, no offense, Sarah. They can invite a few friends, we’ll lay in some food and the chaperones can play poker or something. You’re invited, if you’re interested.”
Cooper grabbed Sarah’s hand under the table. He pulled her toward him and whispered in her ear. “Say no, I beg of you.”
She whispered back. “What’s my excuse?”
“Plans,” he said. “Just say no and I’ll make you come three times on New Year’s Eve. Three times.”
Her face went red as a tomato. She looked at their friends and said, “Um, Cooper has plans for me.”
As Cooper was taking her home, she said, “All right, Mr. Big Shot, what kind of plans do we have?”
“I don’t care,” he said. “Anything you want. I’ll put on my expensive hand-me-down suit and take you out somewhere special. Or we can throw a couple of pizzas in the oven and eat them naked. I just want you, by yourself, not a bunch of teenagers. And it’s not like I don’t like teenagers, it’s just that...you know...I want to make you scream my name a few times. That work for you?”
“I’ve never eaten pizza naked,” she told him.
That was good enough for him and for the next couple of days he could barely contain himself. He had come to a few conclusions and it was time to level with Sarah. That email Mac came across, that wasn’t about money or eagles. That was about stability. About roots. He envied people with responsibility; he wanted a stronger connection and wasn’t sure how that happened. Until now. Until Sarah.
She came to him for their private New Year’s Eve party. It was still early in the evening and the first thing he did, right after locking the door, was to peel her clothes off as he walked her to the bedroom, leaving a trail of them along the way. He thought he was very accomplished, kissing her as he undressed her and himself, landing them on the bed, almost naked, where he made fast work of what was left of her clothing. And his.
He kissed her whole body until she begged him to get inside her. He was feeling so sure of himself and so powerful he said, “I meant it. I can make you come three times if you want me to.”
“Once, for right now, should do the trick,” she told him.
He grabbed for the little foil package on his bedside table and said, “Anything you want, honey. Anything. Just tell me.”
“How about less talking and more doing.”
He took instruction well, covering her mouth in a powerful kiss that curled her toes and made her moan. It hadn’t taken any time at all to know her body, to respond to her needs and desires, to find out exactly how to satisfy her. He could tell whether she wanted it fast and hard or slow and drawn out...and he delivered. Once he was inside her body, he knew the way and he knew the sounds that signaled she was ready. And that she was there.
He held himself back until he felt her clench and spasm around him, then he waited her out and wouldn’t let himself go until she was complete. Sometimes when he emptied himself into her, it started a whole new orgasm for her. Like tonight. He held her tight, one arm under her shoulders, one large hand pressing her bottom against him, getting him deeper, his mouth on her mouth, claiming her.
“Aw, God,” he groaned. “God, Sarah,” he whispered.
And she ran fingers along the hair at his temples. “Cooper, one of these days I think you’re going to kill me.”
It took him a moment to catch his breath, but once he was in control again he said, “Sarah. Listen, Sarah. I love you.”
And she turned her face away.
Cooper couldn’t move. He was frozen in place, and he was still joined to her. He slowly touched the hair at her brow and gave them both a moment. Then with care, he rolled away from her, but he gathered her into his arms and pulled her close to him.
“Okay, Sarah, it’s time. Talk to me.”
She didn’t move except to slowly stroke his hand for a moment.
With a thumb and forefinger to her chin, he turned her back to look at him. “I think you better tell me what he did to you.”
“You know. He cheated.”
“Oh-ho,” he said on a humorless laugh, “I think there was more to it than that.”
“Okay, he cheated with the maid of honor on the day of the wedding.” His expression registered flat, in total disbelief. “Just when you think you’ve heard it all, right?”
He was speechless. The only thing that came to mind was What kind of man? And yet... “Sarah, you married him.”
“I did,” she said, giving a nod. “I suspected that day. I knew in my gut that very day, but he convinced me something that egregious couldn’t be true. I didn’t hear the truth until my ex-friend, my bridesmaid, decided to unburden herself a year later. And he came clean. He said he probably wasn’t cut out to be monogamous.”
“Aw, baby,” he said, pulling her closer. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. You’re guiltless.”
He realized she was pushing against him a bit, so he let her put a little space between them. “I think there’s more. I can’t imagine it, but I think there’s more.”
She lifted those large dark eyes to his. He could hear the tears in her voice, but she wouldn’t let herself cry. Her eyes didn’t even cloud with tears. “I loved him,” she said. “I really did.”
“You must have.”
She nodded. “Very much. It was completely crazy how much. From the second I saw him.”
Cooper frowned darkly. There was a great deal missing from this explanation and he was a little afraid to hear it, but he knew it better come out. “I want to know everything,” he said. “I want to understand this.”
She took a breath. “It feels very strange. We’re so...naked.”
“Better to keep from covering up, I think. You can trust me with it, Sarah.”
“I loved him,” she said again. “I met him at work. One look and I was attracted and then he asked me if I’d go out with him. Of course I’d go out with him—he was so hot, so sexy, so beautiful. But I had Landon, I explained. And he said, ‘Let’s all go out.’ He took Landon and me to a great restaurant. Then he went to watch Landon play football twice before we even had a private date together. Does any of this sound familiar?”
“Like us?” he asked.
She nodded. “Can you see why I’m not letting anything like that happen to me again? Derek even lavished Landon with gifts, went to every game, stayed at my house while I had to sit alert...”
“I don’t care,” he said. “I’m not him.” He lifted her chin with a finger. “Sarah, you know I’m nothing like him. Besides, you didn’t love me on sight.” He grinned lamely.
“Cooper, I was really just a kid when I lost my parents. I had a little brother to raise and he was so small, so vulnerable. I don’t mean to sound like a baby myself, but it was hard. Sometimes I was so isolated, so afraid I’d never get the hang of this—like a single mom, thrown into the deep end of the pool. And then along comes this man I thought was wonderful and just having him there for us, for the first time in so many years I thought we could be a real family. I thought maybe I’d have a normal life, after all. I was thirty the first time I had a glimpse of a normal life. I was sleeping with a man I loved. Not only was I in a stable relationship, so was Landon. We were finally safe. I started to have hopes and dreams for the first time since I was in college. I started to fantasize about a family of my own—not only a safe place for Landon to grow up and thrive, but maybe a child of my own someday. And I had that for a year, Cooper.”
“Sarah...”
“Cooper, I know how to lose a guy—I’ve had brief relationships here and there that didn’t make it and I survived, Landon and I survived. But this time I had dreams. He didn’t just let me down. He let Landon down, too. He didn’t just break my heart, Cooper. He killed all my dreams.” She shook her head. “I can’t go through that again.”
He looked into those dark, liquid eyes for a long moment. Then he pulled her closer and kissed her lightly. “You won’t have to.”
“I’m not taking that chance, you know. I’m not letting myself love anyone.”
“I understand,” he said. “I don’t blame you. But I’m not him.”
“I know, and it’s not your fault that you’re stuck with this. It’s his fault, the bastard. He probably screwed this up for you. I apologize. But that’s how it is.”
Twenty
January was a cloudy and wet month, typical for the coast at this time of year. Sarah had a weeklong training class to attend in Florida. She was hesitant to allow Cooper to be in charge of Landon because of the way it resembled her relationship with her ex. But Cooper made a good case. “He’s going to want to be on his own,” Cooper said. “And he’s definitely capable. But I can at least make sure he eats and doesn’t use your house as a sex shop.”
After a brief shudder, she said, “All right. But don’t get any ideas.”
“God forbid,” he said.
Unlike her ex, Sarah was monogamous. She was just afraid of commitment, and for good reason, it seemed. There was no practical reason for her to trust a man, especially a man like Cooper, who could admit women had in the past complained that he just couldn’t stick. There were no more proclamations of love, but the passion hadn’t weakened.
While Sarah was in Florida, she called him daily. He spent his time at the renovation or his trailer. Rawley was still coming by most days and had taken to wearing a tool belt. Building was something he could do with minimal interaction. He did break down and ask Cooper if he might work on that old pickup in the shed, rather than taking it to his father’s house where there was limited driveway and garage space. Ben had left an impressive collection of tools.