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The Woods Out Back


Gary blinked many times in amazement as he scanned the huge torchlit hall. Suits of intricate and decorated armor, both metal and leather, stood at silent attention - why weren't the lava newt soldiers wearing them? - gleaming with new polish. Swords, spears, pole arms, weapons of so many shapes and sizes, lined the walls, joining the many rich-colored tapestries. One group of spears in particular caught Gary's eye. Identical in build, they were lashed halfway up the wall with their butt ends touching at evenly spaced angles, giving the whole ensemble a harmonious semicircular design, like the top half of the sun cresting the eastern horizon.

And one sword in particular held Gary in absolute awe, both for its obviously magnificent craftsmanship and for its sheer size. Unlike the other weapons in the room, this sword was not fitted to any wall or held by empty, decorative armor. It leaned easily against the far wall, as if waiting for a wielder, waiting for battle. Gary couldn't imagine anyone actually lifting the monstrous thing, let alone wielding it in a fight.

Beyond the armor and weapons and tapestries, and all the other fabulous decorations, the room itself seemed a spectacular thing. Thick stone walls ran up straight and smooth, giving way to a dark-wooded ceiling of great interlocking beams. How high were those walls? Gary wondered. Twenty feet? Fifty? Dimensions seemed out of kilter in here - a room more suited to a giant than a man - and no matter how high it actually was, the sheer mass of that ceiling awed Gary and made him feel very small indeed.

"Your friend approves of my meeting hall," the huge red-haired man bellowed, looking from Kelsey to Gary. "Is he the one to fulfill the prophecies?" Robert walked a few steps closer, studying Gary as he came. His face brightened suddenly, as if in revelation, and, to Gary's sincere relief, he stopped his advance.

"Yes," Robert answered his own question. "I see that he wears the armor of Cedric Donigarten, though not as well as dead Cedric once wore it!" He roared out a laugh that came straight from his belly.

"Is there no one who does not know of your quest?" Geno, obviously not similarly amused, asked Kelsey snidely.

Kelsey turned on the dwarf sharply, and Gary could see true pain in the elf's golden eyes. Geno's sarcasm had stung; apparently Kelsey had not expected Robert to be so well informed.

"I could kill you all right now, you realize," the red-haired man said suddenly, and from the strength of his voice alone, Gary held no doubts about his claim.

"There's the boasts of a true dragon," Mickey replied dryly, and Robert's ensuing laughter shook the hall like the rumble of thunder.

By this time, Gary was even more confused. When he had first heard the man referred to as Robert, he had assumed that this was a different Robert, a human counterpart to the dreaded dragon, perhaps. Or Gary had hoped that this Robert was different, he realized, for in his heart he had known the truth all along. Gary could not deny the aura of power surrounding this being, a strength much greater than any mere human could contain.

But if this was really Robert the dreaded dragon, he certainly did not fit the description of the dragon in Gary's book, or, for that matter, any description of any dragon that Gary had ever heard of. Yet Mickey had told Gary to read those passages concerning the dragon in his book to get an idea of what Robert would be like.

"Well, I know why you are here," Robert said. "Or at least part of the reason. No doubt you have come to steal from me as well - I see that you have brought a dwarf along."

Geno ground his teeth at the insult, but, to Gary's amazement, did not offer any retort.

"We have come for one reason alone, great wyrm," Kelsey said firmly, stepping out in front of his companions and slapping his hand to his belted sword.

"Wyrm?" Gary whispered to Mickey, but the leprechaun motioned for him to keep silent.

Robert, appearing unimpressed by Kelsey's bravado, stalked the rest of the distance across the room to stand right before the elf.

Gary blew a silent whistle. The red-haired man was seven feet tall if he was an inch, with shoulders broad and strong, and corded arms that could tear Kelsey right in half with a simple twist and tug. If Geno got his strength from eating rocks, Gary decided, then this Robert ate mountains - whole.

"In accordance with the rules of our ancestors," Kelsey said, his voice not quivering in the least, "as was done by Ten-Temmera of Tir na n'Og against the dragon Rehir, as was done by Gilford of Drochit against the dragon Wobegone, as was done by..." The list went on for many minutes, with Kelsey naming ancient heroes in legendary duels against Faerie's most fearsome dragons.

"The Tylwyth Teg never could get by the formalities," Mickey whispered to Gary, and Geno, standing right beside the leprechaun, snorted his wholehearted agreement.

"Thus, with these precedents in mind and in accordance with all of the stated rules," Kelsey finally finished, "I do challenge you to a fight of honor!"

Through the entirety of Kelsey's prepared speech, Robert did not blink.

"Again, in accordance with precedent and established rules," Kelsey added, "if you are defeated, you must perform one small service to me. And you know the task well, dragon Robert - you must furnish the fire to reforge the ancient spear of Cedric Donigarten."

Robert nodded as though he had fully anticipated that price.

"No fires wrought by mortals could soften its metal," he replied, as if reciting a portion of some ancient verse.

"And you must," Kelsey continued with a nod, "adhere to the rules of banishment and remain in your fortress for a hundred years."

Again Robert nodded casually. What was a hundred years to a dragon, after all?

"And if victorious?" the red-haired giant asked, too nonchalantly, his sincerely calm confidence sending shudders up Gary's spine.

"There are precedents for that possibility...," Kelsey began.

"Damn your precedents, elf!" Robert roared suddenly, and Kelsey, for all his nerve, retreated a step. "You wish me to do battle against you, a battle full of rules that eliminate my obvious advantages." He looked around at his lava newt guards, his smile reminding the companions that he could call in a hundred more loyal soldiers with a snap of his fingers.

"And you have told me of my price," Robert went on. "Irrelevant drivel! Do you truly believe that you have any chance of defeating me?"

Kelsey firmed his angular jaw, narrowed his golden eyes.

"So do not speak of precedents, elf," the dragon went on, nearly chuckling at the spectacle. "Tell me what I gain by accepting your challenge of honor; tell me why I should exert the effort against so pitiful a foe."

"Not so pitiful that ye did not take the trouble to gather his name," Mickey remarked, and Gary nodded, thinking it wise for the leprechaun to lend Kelsey some much needed support at that time.

Robert smirked but did not answer.

"If you win, my life is forfeited to you," Kelsey said at once.

"You state the obvious," Robert replied. "You will not survive the battle."

Kelsey drew out his magnificent sword. "And this," he said. "Forged by the Tylwyth Teg, it can only serve one so designated by its wielder. If you win and my life is forfeit, then I give to you my sword!"

"A pittance," Robert replied, and Kelsey frowned so gravely at the insult that Gary thought that the elf would surely strike out at Robert then and there. Robert turned his head, leading Kelsey's gaze across the room, to the gigantic and magnificent sword leaning against the far wall.

"But I will accept your pittance," Robert said suddenly, turning back on the elf. "Your life and your sword, elf, and the lives of your friends."

Mickey and Geno started to protest, with Gary startled too numb to even utter a single word, but Kelsey simply spoke above them. "According to precedent," he said. "And so we are agreed."

"Don't ye think that we've a word or two to say about it?" Mickey asked.

"No," was Robert's simple and straightforward reply, and while Kelsey did not openly vocalize his agreement, it seemed obvious to the others that he considered the dragon's demands quite reasonable.

The huge man walked easily across the room and casually lifted the massive sword.

"A strong one," Mickey remarked, seeing Gary's gawk, for not only had Robert lifted a sword that Gary thought more appropriate for a Tommy-sized giant, but he had lifted it, so very easily, with just one hand!

"You choose swords?" Kelsey asked, seeming confused. "I had thought..."

"I choose my weapons as I choose," Robert replied with an ironic chuckle. "The sword will do nicely - for a start." He moved to the hearth on the back wall. Bending low, the red-haired man, without the slightest hesitation or wince of pain, used his bare hands to push aside the glowing embers.

"Are you coming along?" he asked, and he tugged on one of the hearth's pokers, a concealed lever, which drew open a secret trapdoor. "And I warn you only once," he added, "if you steal a single coin or trinket from my gathered hoard, then the rules are no more, and your lives are surely forfeit! I have not come forth for many decades; perhaps it will be time again for Robert the Righteous to feast upon the flesh of men!"

Gary could hardly find his breath as he looked to Mickey. The leprechaun nodded gravely, not doubting the dragon's threats in the least.

The four companions, Kelsey determinedly at their lead, followed Robert down a long and winding set of stairs, ending in a series of vast and empty chambers. Mickey paused as they passed by one archway, low and covered by a hanging tapestry, the only man-made article they had seen down here under the castle.

"Treasure room," the leprechaun remarked to Gary's inquisitive stare. Gary knew from Mickey's expression that the leprechaun had no intention of trying to steal anything, nor did any of the companions, in light of Robert's warning. But there was a profound and obvious sadness in Mickey's eye as he continued to gaze back at the blocked archway. Gary studied the leprechaun closely, not understanding.

He didn't question the leprechaun about it, though, too concerned with what lay ahead to worry about what might lie behind.

The smell of sulphur continued to grow until it fully filled Gary's nostrils. At first he thought the aroma a relic from the ancient volcano that had raised the Giant's Thumb, but as Robert moved into one room and lit the torches lining the chamber's walls, Gary noticed many scarred and blasted areas, along every wall, the ceiling, and the floor.

Dragon fire?

Gary also noticed many scratches in the stone floor, deep and wide. If a dragon's claws had caused those...

That undeniable shudder ran its path again along Gary's spine.

"How did Robert know of our coming?" Kelsey whispered to Mickey as Robert moved far across the room to finish lighting up all of the torches.

"Maybe the witch told him," Gary offered, what he thought to be a logical conclusion. Three skeptical stares showed him differently, though.

"No, lad," Mickey explained. "Ceridwen would not be talking to the likes of Robert. Nor would any of her minions. They don't get on well; it'd be as likely for the witch to side with Kelsey in the coming battle as to side with Robert."

"She doesn't want the spear forged," Gary reminded him.

"Nor does she desire to see the spear and Cedric's armor fall into the dragon's clutches," Geno reasoned. "I would guess that Ceridwen would prefer to deal with Kelsey holding the repaired spear than to deal with Robert at all."

"The two do take pains to keep away from each other," Mickey said with an amused expression. That the leprechaun could find any mirth at all in their dire situation told Gary just how profoundly Ceridwen and Robert hated each other - to the delight of many of Faerie's inhabitants, no doubt.

Kelsey went back to his original question. "How did Robert know?" he asked again, and this time, it seemed to Gary, the elf cast more than a curious stare the leprechaun's way.

Mickey just shrugged and popped his pipe into his mouth. "Ye'd better take the lad's shield," the leprechaun remarked, deflecting the question. "It'd block a dragon's fire, so say the legends."

Kelsey looked again to Robert, now making his deliberate way back across the vast chamber, and knew that his question would have to wait.

He turned to Gary for the shield, but Gary, staring at approaching Robert, did not notice him. The image of this red-haired man spouting flames did not add up to Gary - and who ever heard of a dragon fighting with a sword?

"Well?" Kelsey's impatient tone pulled Gary from his private deliberations. He looked around curiously for a moment, confused, then realized what Kelsey was after and fumbled to get Cedric's great shield off of his back.

"Some of the straps have come loose," Gary explained. "When a troll hit it..."

A wave of Kelsey's hand stopped him. "I'll not use it in the the battle," the elf said, to Gary's further confusion. "It is too cumbersome for swordplay, and little defense against that mighty sword, especially in the hands of Robert. The dragon would drive his blade right through this shield even if I were quick enough to raise it for a block." Kelsey took the shield then and turned away to begin his challenge, to meet his destiny.

"Then why did he take it?" Gary asked Mickey.

"As I said, the shield'll turn even a dragon's fire," Mickey replied casually, lighting up his pipe. "If Robert decides to loose his breath, then Kelsey'll be quick to pick it up."

"But he's not a dragon!" Gary cried in frustration, more loudly than he had intended.

Geno's laughter mocked him.

"Just watch, lad," Mickey replied. "Just watch."

Kelsey and Robert squared off near to the center of the huge chamber, Kelsey laying the magical shield on the floor beside one decapitated stalagmite and taking up his sword in both hands.

Robert, too, hoisted his weapon in both hands, bringing it into an easy, circular swing above his head. "Do not die too quickly, elf," the great man growled. "I have not enjoyed the excitement of battle for many years. A dozen lava newts fall too quickly for me to take pleasure in those jousts!" The monstrous sword whipped around suddenly, an exclamation point for Robert's boasts, and Kelsey barely fell back out of its nearly seven-foot reach.

Despite the momentum of the swing, Robert easily halted the sword's progress and brought it back in the other way. Wisely Kelsey never slowed his backpedaling, even rolling to his back and then to the right to come up facing his enemy, but far out of Robert's reach.

"Ah, very good!" Robert roared. "Hard to catch, if not so hard to kill!"

On came the red-haired monster in a frightening wild rush.

"Get out of there!" Gary heard himself cry out, but Kelsey had other ideas. As Robert charged, so did he, diving to his knees at the last moment and sliding right by the lumbering giant.

Kelsey's sword drove home once and then again into Robert's thick thigh as they passed, and Kelsey came back up before Robert could even spin about to regard him.

The red-haired man looked down to his injured leg, astonishment clear upon his face.

Gary's smile widened at Kelsey's brilliant move, but it faded immediately when he looked upon Mickey, who seemed not so confident.

"Ah," Robert roared again. "Very good!" And then he laughed, so loudly and profoundly that it echoed again and again off of every stone in the chamber, sounding as if the dragon had brought along his own invisible cheering section. Giving no more heed to the wounds at all, he advanced upon Kelsey once again, this time slowly, deliberately, his great sword waving out before him.

"At least I'll get to see the damned elf die before it's my turn to face the wyrm," Geno muttered grimly.
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