This Is What Happy Looks Like(31)
Author: Jennifer E. Smith

It had been a long time since he’d met someone who looked at him with such open suspicion. In his old life, he’d been great with parents; he was a nice kid, charming enough to win over most anyone. And in his new life, he’d gotten used to people falling all over themselves in an effort to please him. But the way Ellie’s mom was eyeing him now, with a peculiar kind of mistrust, was something entirely new.

Graham shifted from one foot to the other and attempted a winning smile, which seemed to have no effect whatsoever.

“I thought Quinn was coming over,” Mrs. O’Neill said to Ellie, her eyebrows raised as she dropped her purse on the kitchen counter.

“There was a change of plans,” Ellie mumbled. “You remember Graham, right?”

Mrs. O’Neill nodded, but didn’t offer a smile. “Nice to see you,” she said, though she managed not to make it sound that way. “Enjoying Henley?”

“Yes,” Graham said, biting back the “ma’am.” “It’s lovely here.” He cleared his throat and dropped his eyes to the floor. He’d never used the word lovely before in his life.

“And how long are you all in town?”

“Another few weeks,” he told her. “But I wish it was longer. It’s really a lovely place.” He coughed, his face hot. It seemed impossible that he’d just said the word lovely twice in under a minute. “Actually, I just invited my parents out for the Fourth,” he said quickly, feeling himself begin to ramble, but unable to stop. “I thought they’d like it here too.”

From across the room, Ellie gave him an encouraging smile. “That’ll be fun,” she said. “How long will they be here? We could give you some ideas of stuff to do while they’re in town.”

“Probably four or five days,” Graham said, thinking even as he did just how unlikely that was. But he felt suddenly desperate for it to be true. “My dad and I are pretty into fishing, so we’ll probably do that for some of the time.”

“Sounds like fun,” Ellie said, casting a glance at her mom. “Well, it’s late…”

“Yeah,” Graham said, taking a step toward the door. “Yeah, it is.” He gave Mrs. O’Neill an awkward little wave. “Thanks so much for having me.” Then he turned to Ellie, smiling at her from what felt like a great distance, even as he wanted nothing more than to cross the room and finish what they’d started. “I’ll see you”—he was about to say “tomorrow,” but thought better of it—“around.”

And with that, he was sidestepping the dog on the way to the front hallway. Even as he made his way out the door and onto the porch, he was surprised to hear them begin to argue, their whispers drifting through the screen, harsh and raspy and much too loud.

Outside, the night had cooled off, and he stood there for a moment, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Maybe she was one of those mothers who didn’t want her daughter spending time with boys. Or maybe it was just that they’d been alone in the house after dark. Or that she’d had a bad day. But whatever the reason, Graham knew it was best to make a quick exit, and he took a deep breath before stepping quietly off the porch.

He was almost to the end of the driveway when he heard the screen door bounce shut behind him, and then the sound of Ellie’s bare feet on the pavement as she ran to meet him, shaking her head as she approached.

“I’m sorry—” she began, but that was as far as she got, because Graham couldn’t wait any longer. He leaned in, his lips meeting hers, which tasted faintly of peanut butter, and he closed his eyes, and he held her by the shoulders, and he kissed her.

It was exactly as he’d thought it would be, like the first time and the millionth time all at once, like being wide awake, like losing his balance. Only this time, it wasn’t just him; this time, they were losing their balance together.

From: [email protected]

Sent: Monday, June 10, 2013 10:43 PM

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: if you get lost…

I’m glad you didn’t get lost.

Chapter 11

Ellie woke to the smell of pancakes: a peace offering. Ever since she was little, this was all it took to signal the end of a fight. She and Mom had never argued very often, but when they did, it was a strictly nocturnal affair. The unspoken rule was that the next morning was a clean slate, and all of it—the dirty looks and the sharp words—would be left behind, leaving only heart-shaped pancakes in its place. The best kind of truce.

This morning, however, was different. Mom stood at the stove in her flannel pajama pants as usual, a cup of coffee in one hand and a spatula in the other. But when Ellie slid into her seat at the table, Mom only tossed her a thin smile before turning back around again.

It was Ellie’s fault for cutting short their argument last night. By the time Graham left, she’d been vibrating like a tuning fork, shaking with anger over her mother’s behavior.

“You can’t just be rude,” she’d whispered, once she was certain he was out of earshot. “It’s not his fault. I was the one who invited him over.”

“Without telling me,” Mom said, glaring at her. “I have no idea what you’re doing hanging around with some teen heartthrob in the first place—”

“Mom,” Ellie said, flushing.

“You know what’s at stake here, and yet you deliberately go behind my back—”

“We were just eating dinner,” she said, raising her hands in exasperation. “And the reason I made him come here is so we wouldn’t get caught by any photographers in town. So it’s not like I’m—”

“If you don’t think they’ll find out anyway, if you don’t think everyone will know in about two seconds, then you’re even more out of your league than I thought.” Mom put two fingers to her temple like she had a terrible headache, and then let out a slow breath. “I mean, do you even know this guy, Ellie?”

“Yes,” Ellie said, her voice low and fierce. “I know him. I do.”

Mom shook her head as if she hadn’t heard. “He’s a movie star, for god’s sake. He lives in California. He’s going to be out of here in just a few weeks. How can you possibly think this is worth it?”

Ellie just stood there, letting the words wash over her. The air seemed to have gone out of the room, and even Bagel held perfectly still. But the question wasn’t a difficult one; what her mother didn’t understand was that Graham wasn’t some summer adventure, and he wasn’t a fling. The reasons he was worth it had nothing to do with the reasons that so many girls pored over his pictures in the magazines.