Tirade (Heven and Hell #3)(30)
Author: Cambria Hebert

I thought I might go insane.

What?

You wouldn’t answer and I couldn’t grab that link we have. I couldn’t feel you at all. It was worse than anything I’ve ever felt. It was like… I don’t ever want to feel that way again.

I wanted to kill Beelzebub for what he was doing to Sam. I’m still here, Sam. I promise I’m not going anywhere. I’m so sorry I scared you. I love you.

The panic that welled deep inside me seemed to ebb away and I realized that Sam was calming down. Unfortunately, the panic was being replaced with a deep fatigue. He was completely exhausted.

Kimber tried to break me out. She isn’t strong enough.

I said nothing for a moment, allowing that terrible news to sink in. It seemed the hope that lived inside of me grew smaller every day. But my determination was growing. We’ll find another way.

You aren’t hurt?

No.

Did you see Beelzebub?

No.

What happened?

Do you think I’m a bad person, Sam?

What? No. You’re so far away from bad it’s ridiculous.

Not anymore.

Heven? What’s going on?

I killed someone today, Sam.

Then it must have been to protect yourself.

No. Yes. I’m so confused.

If Beelzebub was involved, then you didn’t have a choice. What happened?

I gave him a brief account of the attack and it just reconfirmed what I felt before—I did have a choice and I chose wrong.

I can’t imagine how terrified you must’ve been. You did what you had to. Beelzebub manipulated you and you reacted, but it still doesn’t change the fact Colin would’ve killed you if you hadn’t stopped him.

No. Beelzebub doesn’t want me dead. He wants the scroll and he wants me to pay for what I did to him. He’s only getting started.

He let out a choked scream that echoed through my already pounding head. It’s killing me that I can’t be there to protect you from this!

I knew he was probably ripping apart the cell and I didn’t want that. He was already beyond exhausted.

Sam, calm down. Listen to me. I’m leaving tonight to come and get you.

Everything inside me stilled. I told you not to come back here.

And I asked you not to ask that of me.

Haven’t you been through enough?

Haven’t you? I countered. I wanted desperately to tell him about Riley, but I was afraid to. He was already angry and worried enough. Telling him I found Riley after he told me not to, after he told me he was dangerous, didn’t seem like a smart idea right now.

I’m supposed to be protecting you, not placing you in greater danger.

When I get you out of there, you can protect me all you want.

Promise me you’re really okay, that you’re not hurt.

I’m just fine. I promise. Physically anyway. My mental health was another story.

Hev? Baby, you could kill ten thousand men and I would still love you more than anything. Please don’t torture yourself over this. Beelzebub is going to pay for what he did to you.

I love you too, Sam. I can’t wait to get you home.

Be careful, Heven. Don’t risk yourself for me. If it looks bad, get out.

Okay. I winced, feeling lower than dirt. He still didn’t know I contacted Riley. He didn’t know Riley was here and that he’d been helping me. What would Sam say when he learned Riley had been here, in his house, protecting me from being caught for murder?

I wondered if he would still love me as much as he says when he realized I’ve been lying to him.

Try and get some rest, Sam. I’ll be right here if you call. I promise.

Warmth spread through my chest and I knew it was his way of showing me his love. I slipped into Sam’s shirt and ran a comb through my wet, tangled hair and gathered up my ruined clothes to shove into the trashcan.

Riley was sitting on the couch when I let myself out of the bathroom. His gaze flicked to me, then went back to the TV. I sat on the couch beside him, but not so close that we touched, and stared at the TV without really seeing it.

“What did you do with Colin’s body?”

He clicked the remote to turn off the TV. “I put him in his cruiser and sent it down over the hill. Then I lit it on fire. It looks like he went off the road and the gas tank ruptured. They won’t be able to tell he was stabbed to death.”

I winced at that. “I was the last person seen with him.”

“If the police come to you, just tell them he dropped you at your car and then said he was going back to the hospital. The car was going in the direction of the hospital when I ran it off the road. No one will be able to argue with you. Why would a seventeen-year-old kill an old man?”

“He wasn’t that old,” I murmured, feeling sick. I wondered how he could sit there and talk about covering up a murder and setting a car on fire. Did nothing bother him at all?

“It doesn’t matter now. Forget about it.”

How did you forget about something like this?

“How was your mom?” he asked, no doubt thinking he would change the subject to something better.

“She woke up,” I said. This earned me a look from him.

“You don’t seem too happy about that.”

“She took one look at my face”—I gestured to my new pink scar—“and declared she was right all along and that I’m clearly evil. Then she said I wasn’t her daughter anymore and she never wanted to see me again.”

“You’re a walking magnet for trouble,” he said, unperturbed.

“Then I proved her right by going out and killing someone.”

Riley turned his nearly black eyes to me. “Woe is me.”

I sighed, got up and rummaged until I found a bottle of pain reliever and swallowed back three. “I have to go. I need to tell Gran what happened with Mom so she can go to the hospital and try to calm her down.”

“I’ll drive.”

I began to shake my head but then changed my mind. Who really cared if I let him drive Gran’s car? “Fine. But you’ll have to get out before we get up to the house. I don’t want to have to explain you to her. You can come in once she leaves for the hospital.” I grabbed my bag, which was lying by the door, and wrinkled my nose. It was ruined with blood too. I really liked this bag.

“Thank you,” I said sincerely, looking up at Riley.

“Whatever. I couldn’t leave your crap all over the road. The police would be suspicious.”

I didn’t care why he did what he did, although I suspected his motives weren’t just for covering up my crime. Riley might not want me to see it, but there was a heart inside him somewhere, and it was bigger than he wanted anyone to believe.