Tirade (Heven and Hell #3)(40)
Author: Cambria Hebert

I never did understand why people felt the need to bring food to pay their respects. Sometimes, it seemed like the people who came by were only being nosy and wanted an excuse to come inside to view the grief of others.

“That was nice,” Gran said, picking up the largest dish. Cole released me to help her carry the food inside and put them into the fridge. “We’ll be able to put all this out after the funeral for the guests that come by.”

I dreaded the funeral and the reception afterward. It was set for the day after tomorrow with two separate hour-long viewings at the funeral home tomorrow afternoon and evening.

“Gran, would you mind if I went upstairs to lie down for a while?”

“Of course not. It was a long morning. But before you go, I need to give you something.” She pulled a white envelope out of her bag and handed it to me. “This was in your mother’s room at the hospital. I forgot to give it to you last night with everything that had happened…”

“It’s okay,” I said, taking the envelope. My name was scrawled across the front in black ink. It was my mother’s handwriting. “She left this for me?” I asked. “What is it?”

“I didn’t look at it. I figured it was private.”

After all the horrible things she said to me, I was shocked she left me anything at all. Part of me cringed at the note because it was probably filled with more words that would cut me like a knife. “I don’t think I want to open it just yet.”

“Of course, honey. Take your time,” she said as she went to grab the tea kettle and fill it with water.

On my way out of the room, I stopped and turned back. “Oh, Gran? If it’s okay, I planned to spend the night at Kimber’s tonight.”

Gran looked up from the tea kettle she was filling at the sink. “You two made up?”

I was aware of Cole staring at me, but I ignored him. “Yeah, after Mom… I figured whatever we were fighting about wasn’t that important.”

“I think that’s wonderful. On the way home tomorrow, could you stop by your mom’s and pick out that outfit?” My stomach knotted at the thought of choosing an outfit for her to be buried in.

“Sure. I’ll take it over to the funeral home after.”

Gran nodded and I left the room. Cole followed, telling Gran he wanted to make sure I was okay. In my bedroom, I flopped down face-first on the bed.

“How are you holding up?” Cole asked. The bed sank a little when he sat down on the corner.

I groaned. But then I propped myself up on my elbows. “What’s the deal with you and Gemma?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, Cole, it isn’t nothing.”

“Actually, it is pretty much nothing. You know how hard Gemma is to talk to. She’s a closed book; trying to talk to her is impossible.”

I rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. Lately, I’d been letting my brother down. I’d been so focused on myself and Sam that I hadn’t really cared or thought about what Cole might be going through.

I sighed and scooted back until I was sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard. Cole was watching me and I patted the empty space next to me. When he was settled beside me, I rested my head against his shoulder. “I guess me showing up with Riley didn’t make anything any easier.”

“I don’t trust him, Hev.”

“Of course you don’t.” I smiled. “You’re a Supernal Being, a regular angel on Earth, and he’s a hellhound, a man twisted by sin.”

“It’s not just that,” he began. “I mean, I’ve managed to accept Sam.”

“I thought that might never happen.”

“He’s not so bad. He might even be good enough for my sister,” he said with a smile in his voice.

“He’s too good for me,” I said, focusing on the pain that ran through my body. Sam’s pain. Pain that I knew he wouldn’t be in if it weren’t for me.

Cole made a scoffing sound and was about to disagree when I interrupted him. “Have you and Gemma talked since Riley got here?”

A vision of Gemma flashed into my mind. She looked upset with tears in her eyes. I blinked and it was gone. Cole’s aura was flaring with vibrant reds and oranges, colors that were not his usual greens and blues. Clearly, he talked to her and was at odds with whatever happened. Was that vision of Gemma from his mind? Was I mind-robbing his memories like I had done with Sam? Could I even do that? I thought the Mindbond I shared with Sam was the reason I was able to see his memories.

Maybe not.

I settled my head a little more soundly on Cole’s shoulder and prepared to investigate. “Tell me what happened, Cole.”

And just like that, I was transported. I may have been shocked if I hadn’t been so engrossed by the scene that played out before me. It was as if I were at the movies with the best seat in the house. I don’t have any idea how it happened. One minute, I was asking him a question, and the next, it’s like I slipped inside his head to witness his answer firsthand.

They were standing in Cole’s bedroom. At least I think it was his bedroom. I couldn’t really be sure because I’d never been to his house. Our father left his mother for my mother, and I wasn’t exactly welcome. I tried to check out the room from all angles but couldn’t because I was seeing things from Cole’s point of view. What I could see was nice. It was a large square room with a large window framed by navy curtains. Various football posters hung on the white walls. There was a dresser against one wall that was large and wooden. It was in front of this dresser that Gemma was standing. She was clearly upset, more upset than I’d ever seen her.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your past?” Cole was asking her.

“Because my past doesn’t matter.”

I felt the words spear right through him. “So I don’t matter?”

“My past has nothing to do with you.”

“I’m beginning to think that nothing about you has anything to do with me,” he muttered and he turned away.

Gemma caught his hand and drew him back. “That’s not true, either.”

“Then what’s the truth?” His words were barely a whisper, but he stared right into her gray eyes. It was odd being in someone else’s memories. I could feel what he felt and I could see what he saw. I wasn’t sure I liked it. I was used to my brother from my point of view. To me, he was a rock. He was overprotective, sometimes bossy, and always stubborn, but I loved him. I didn’t see him as unsure and vulnerable and I wasn’t sure what I thought of Gemma for making him feel this way. Why couldn’t she just love him too?