Trailer Park Heart

“I didn’t know that!” I pointed at my friends behind me. At least I hoped they were still behind me. “They’re throwing a party for me. So basically, you’re intruding.”

He raised one, sculpted eyebrow. “And what are you celebrating?”

I threw an arm straight up in the air and said, “Getting out of the house!”

When I opened my eyes again, because apparently, I’d closed them in my enthusiastic display, he was trying not to smile. The twinkle was back. Damn that twinkle.

“That is a reason to celebrate.”

I leaned closer, so I didn’t have to yell so loud. “What are you celebrating?”

He shrugged and looked around at the packed bar. Kristen March was off in the corner with her usual gaggle of girls, shooting me the stink eye. For real, this was high school 2.0.

“Being home, I guess.” His smile shrunk, fading from his eyes.

“That’s also something to celebrate.”

“Joint celebrations,” he pointed out. “Just like our birthdays.”

I smiled, despite myself. Eyeing the bar packed with people here to celebrate him versus the two people I was here with, I wrapped my hand around his bicep and murmured, “You always did have better parties than me,” near his ear.

His eyes lit with something else, something hotter, something… dangerous. “Dance with me.”

“Wh-what?”

“Dance with me, Dawson.” He nodded his head toward the dance floor and reached for my hand.

I was tempted to do it. Beyond tempted. Nearly compelled by the witchcraft of his body and voice and the tension that had always been between us. I pictured us on the dance floor, bodies pressed together, his hands on my hips, his mouth close to mine… Yes was on the tip of my tongue.

Everything inside me heated and burned and tingled and all I wanted to do was get lost in the music and Levi’s magic.

But that would have been stupid—incredibly stupid. His deceased brother was the father of my child. I couldn’t dance with Levi. I couldn’t do anything with Levi.

I was saved by Ajax of all people. He appeared suddenly next to Levi, took one look at the taller man and grabbed my hand. I let him.

No matter how drunk or high or weird he’d been, I needed him to be my escape tonight. I realized as his clammy hand clamped around mine that was all he ever was for me—an escape. Sometimes from reality. But tonight, he would be my escape from the past.

“Sorry,” I yelled at Levi as Ajax tugged me through the crowd after him.

Levi’s confused expression only lasted a second until it turned into fury. His glare cut like ice through the steamy room, chilling me to the bone.

There, I thought. That should give him the clear signal that I wasn’t interested. Enough of our game. Enough of the constant back and forth.

I turned into Ajax as soon as we hit the floor and tried to get lost in the music, the same way I imagined getting lost in Levi.

It didn’t work. And my buzz fizzled into cold clarity.

This was the right thing. But it felt fucking terrible.

14

Rhythm is a Dancer

An hour and a half later, I was sweaty and realizing how desperately out of shape I was. Also, how bad a dancer I was.

Ajax was all rhythm and soul—even three sheets to the wind. I was like one of those giant wind-machine-dancing-Gumby things they kept at car dealerships. It wasn’t pretty.

“I need a drink,” I shouted at him. He wrapped his arm around my back and yanked me against him. Sensing he was about to kiss me, I turned my head just in time and his lips landed on my neck. Not that it was a less intimate kiss, but at least I’d been saved from his whiskey breath and slug-like tongue.

I felt eyes on me, glaring holes in my head. It could have been my friends since I’d abandoned them on my one night out of the house in months for a guy I was trying to avoid. Or it could have been the entire rest of the town, crammed into this tiny space, sensing I didn’t belong.

It was probably Kristen March, to be honest. I’d caught her looking my way and whispering to her minions all night. I liked to pretend they weren’t talking about me, but I’d gone to school with these girls since kindergarten. I had their number.

My saving grace in staying in this awful town was that none of the people I went to school with had kids yet. So, while I had to deal with the other moms of young kids, they had all been old enough for me to avoid their high school games.

Now we were all on a level playing field. For the most part anyway. Our days were busy and filled with messes and cartoons and fighting for kids to eat their vegetables. There was most certainly drama whenever women were together, but I was able to ignore it better now that I had bigger priorities.

It was definitely possible they still talked about me. They just usually did it behind my back.

Even though I’d told Ajax I needed a drink, I bypassed the bar on the way to the bathroom. I needed a break from the sticky heat of the dance floor and a breather. I couldn’t say I was having a terrible time. Ajax was fun to dance with. And it felt good to act like my age for once. I just didn’t want him to think this would end up being more than it was.

“His parents want him to settle down,” a girl was saying when I pushed through the bathroom door. It was much cooler in here and I sucked in a deep breath. “Apparently he got a little wild. I heard it was an ultimatum.”

I recognized the girl immediately—Kelly Fink. In high school, Coco and I used to call her Kelly Pink because she was obsessed with the color. Every single day, from freshman year to the day we graduated, she wore something pink. Not even an exaggeration.

She gave me a look that wasn’t exactly friendly before turning back to the mirror to finish reapplying her lipstick.

“Do you think it’s true?” a voice in one of the two stalls asked curiously.

Kelly shrugged and then realized the girl she was talking to couldn’t see her. “My dad heard it too,” she explained. “Said he got into some crazy bar fight and almost got arrested. His mom said he had to come home after that or she would cut him off.”

Clearly, they were talking about Levi, but I didn’t know how true the story was since I was pretty sure Levi made his own money. If the rumors were true, he’d had a good job on a gigantic ranch. They weren’t exactly going to pay him in hayseed.

I ducked into the second stall just as the other girl stepped out of hers. “Kristen will be happy to hear he’s on the market.”

Kelly snickered. “She’s not the only one.”

The second girl gasped, and I was afraid to pee, lest I remind them of my presence and they stop talking.

“You would really go after Levi Cole?” she asked.

“I’m not an idiot.” Kelly laughed. “I would never cross Kristen. But hey, it didn’t work out for them in high school. Why would it work out now?”

“She’ll never admit it, but he dumped her ass so hard back then.”

Kelly laughed again. “And she’s never gotten over it.”

“She would kill you, you know,” the second girl warned Kelly.

Kelly sighed wistfully. “I know.” Then she added coyly, “But it might be worth it.” They left the bathroom giggling about what it would be like to bang Levi Cole and I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

I wanted nothing more than to go home and curl up in bed. Suddenly, I missed Max fiercely. I hated that I’d chosen this place over hanging with him.