Trashy (Take It Off #10)(29)
Author: Cambria Hebert

The moment broke when Adam’s eyes darkened and he brushed his knuckles over my jaw and trailed them down to my neck. The flesh was still sore. I prayed it didn’t leave marks, but I was terribly afraid they were already starting to form. In fact, I knew they were, because Adam’s eyes tightened when he looked in that direction.

“I don’t play games,” Adam said as he drew his hand back. “I don’t like them.”

I looked back out at the ocean as he spoke.

“You and I have been dancing around each other for years, Rox. I think we both knew this was inevitable.”

“What?” I turned my head to stare at him once more.

“That you and I… we’re going to happen.”

Yeah, I did know. For a long time, I thought Adam was only a fantasy, someone who would slip through my fingers, but I was wrong.

“I want you, Roxie,” he said clear as day. “I’ve wanted you a long time. It never felt like the right time,” he said, and I nodded because he was right. “I’m tired of waiting for the right time. Tell me you want me.”

“I want you,” I echoed. I wanted him so badly that sometimes it hurt.

Adam reached for me, but I evaded him, pacing across the dark wood floors. “But I’m not good for you,” I said. “I’ve got a lot of baggage, Adam, and I’m very afraid some of it may never go away.”

“I’ve got plenty of baggage of my own,” he said with a sardonic grin.

Yes, but even his four ex-wives combined couldn’t match the shit storm that was Craig.

“You don’t understand,” I told him, sorrow creeping into my tone. “Being with me isn’t safe for you.”

“I think I can handle ya,” he said, amused.

But it wasn’t funny. Nothing about this was. My chest ached so badly I thought it might split in two. How had my life come to this?

“Roxie?” Adam said, finally realizing I was being all too real.

I turned back to him. He’d come closer. He was right beside me, staring into me with his chocolate eyes.

“He threatened you, Adam.” My voice cracked. “He saw us together. He’s so angry and…” My voice cracked again and I drew in a shaky breath.

He draped his arm across my shoulders and steered me to a giant, sleek-looking sofa in the center of the room. It was grounded by a gray-and-white striped carpet and glass coffee table.

“Why don’t you start from the beginning?” Adam said, pulling me down beside him.

I faltered. Did I really want to show him all my skeletons? Did I really want him to know just how pathetic I really was?

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “The more you tell me, the more I can help.”

Help.

I never thought I needed help before. I was used to being on my own, dealing with this alone. Maybe that’s why everything seemed so damn hard. Maybe I needed help. Maybe I needed Adam.

“I met Craig when I was seventeen.” I began. “I grew up in a town I only wanted to leave. Getting out was my only plan.”

He nodded, encouraging me to go on.

“And then I met Craig.”

I felt the change come over him, but he held it back so I wouldn’t stop. I paused because I felt like just barging in with the story about Craig didn’t really tell the full story. Because really, this was about me. For Adam to understand how I ended up in this position, he needed to know me.

“When I was in high school, I wasn’t datable,” I told him.

He gave me a look that would make lemons rot, and I smiled. I loved that he rejected that idea so readily. It’s like he could never think of me as anything but datable.

I smiled and turned, settling my side against the back of the couch and facing Adam. “I really wasn’t. No one ever asked me out. I was the friend, the buddy, the cute one. I never went to a school dance because no one ever asked me, and I was too insecure to go by myself. I thought it would make me look pathetic.”

“What the hell was wrong with the boys in that town? Were they blind?” Adam asked.

I laughed. “To me? Yes. At least when my best friend was standing there. She was blond and beautiful, the kind of girl that drew all the eyes in a room.”

“I wouldn’t have noticed her,” he said softly. “I would have been too busy looking at you.”

I leaned my head against the cushion and smiled. “Anyway, I told myself I didn’t want a boyfriend anyway, that I wanted out of the town more. I never partied. I never drank or smoked. I got really good grades, and I had a good reputation.”

“Ahh, a good girl.” He smirked.

I poked him in the ribs. “See, you wouldn’t have been interested. Something tells me in high school, you were nothing but trouble.”

“Damn straight.” He grinned. “But I’d have still noticed you.”

“I met Craig one night while we were out bowling,” I said, forging ahead. I really didn’t want to get too caught up in Adam’s pretty words because he might change his tune later. “He was with a group of guys in the lane next to us. I was always the best bowler, and he didn’t want to lose to a girl.” I couldn’t help but smile when I thought about it because it had been a fun night. A fun night I wish never happened.

“We actually had this intense competition going on. He got mad when I was beating him. He rolled his ball so fast down his lane that it bounced over into my lane and gave me a strike.” I grinned.

Adam smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I understood. He knew what was coming. At least some of it.

“Anyway,” I said. “After that night, we all started hanging as a group. There wasn’t much to do in town so a lot of weekends we would get together at someone’s house and watch movies and eat pizza. My best friend had a pool table and a big basement with couches and a TV, so we hung out there a lot. It was always my job to go rent the movies. I have no idea why.” I laughed. “I pick the worst movies. They’re always so lame.” I stuck my tongue out and Adam laughed.

“They would make fun of me for it but still send me the next week. Maybe they secretly wanted to see what horrible thing I’d bring home next.”

I realized something as I talked… I realized these memories were attached to Craig, to the feelings I had for him, the feelings that always pulled me back in. But these memories… they weren’t even about him. They were about good times I’d spent with my friends, and he just happened to be there.