True (True Believers #1)(16)
Author: Erin McCarthy

“What was that?” I asked after she left, laughing at his dismissal, because I wanted to throw up and I had to know, even if I sounded pathetic or bitchy or rude.

“Vicodin. Jess wants to get high tonight since her intended f**k buddy isn’t here.”

I should have raised my hands to catch my jaw dropping, but I didn’t have time. I stared at him, mouth gaping open in shock. I thought he was her f**k buddy. And since when did my roommate use Vicodin? Not to mention, why did Tyler have it?

“What?” I stuttered, the bottle of beer slipping in my hand. “Oh, shit!” I gripped it harder and prevented it from hitting the ground. But then I felt so stupid and so freaked out about what I’d just heard, that I just started walking away. I wasn’t even sure where I was going.

“Where are you going?” Tyler was right behind me.

“Bathroom.” I didn’t look at him, but I could practically hear his frown of disapproval.

“Okay. You want me to go with you?”

“To the bathroom?” I shot him a look of disbelief. “No. I’ll be right back. I promise.” I would. I was wearing his jacket, and besides, I didn’t have any way to get back to the dorm. Plus, I really didn’t want to embarrass myself any more than I already had. I just needed a minute alone to get my shit together.

Someone was in the bathroom, of course. The door opened and it was Jessica.

“Hey!” she said brightly.

I pushed her back into the bathroom and locked the door behind her.

“What, Rory? Are you okay?” Her brow furrowed and her bunny ears bounced as she shook her hair back.

I set my beer down on the sink and studied Jessica. “What’s going on? What did Tyler give you?”

“Just a happy pill. I like the way it makes my skin itch.”

Clearly my face registered the horror I was feeling, because she took both of my hands into hers. “Oh, come on, don’t make a big deal out of this. I do it like once a month. It’s no different than getting wasted a few times a month.”

“It chemically alters your brain.”

“Which is why it feels so good.” Jessica laughed. “Seriously, this is not a problem. I just didn’t feel like drinking tonight, but I wanted a little high. This is a legal drug, you know.”

She had a point there. And I couldn’t imagine that one pill would do more than was intended when a doctor prescribed it. It would just make her feel loopy and numb, which I guess was what she was going for. I felt a little relieved but not exactly okay. “Just don’t take more than one at a time, okay? Promise me.”

Jessica nodded. “Yeah. Of course. I’m not looking to OD. Are you okay? Did something happen with Tyler?”

“No. Nothing happened,” I said truthfully. I didn’t understand the whole casual attitude toward sex partners. It seemed like a bigger deal to me than that, and it made me feel . . . lonely. Not to mention, I wasn’t sure how I felt about him walking around with pills in his pocket that I’m guessing he did not have a prescription for. “Do you know where Tyler got the Vicodin from?”

“He steals it from his mom,” Jessica said without hesitation. “But not because he wants to pop it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him actually use. But his mom is a serious drug abuser and she’s OD’d like four times. He takes it to keep her from taking too many at once.” She leaned around me to look in the mirror, fluffing her hair and adjusting her ears. “I also think he wants to make sure his younger brothers don’t get into it.”

“Oh.” That was awful. That was downright messed up. “How old are his brothers?”

“I don’t know. It’s not like I’ve ever met them. I’ve just gathered this information from what he and Nathan have said to each other.”

For some reason I enjoyed knowing that Tyler didn’t share his personal life with Jessica, which was really petty. “So no Sebastian tonight?” I asked, feeling more sympathetic toward her.

“No. He went home for the weekend apparently, which is a drag. But don’t worry about me if you want to leave with Tyler. I can get a ride back or hang with Kylie.”

I studied her face, but she was just making duck faces at herself in the mirror. Someone pounded on the locked door. “So you really wouldn’t care if I hooked up with Tyler?” Even though I didn’t intend to, or more accurately, not that he intended to, I just was amazed that she wouldn’t care. I kept seeking clarification or looking for the moment when jealousy would rear.

“Of course not, for like the nine millionth time. Why would I care? I think it would be so good for you.” She turned and shook my shoulders. “Just do it. You’ll feel so much happier!”

I made a face.

The pounding came again.

“We’re coming! Shut the f**k up!” Jessica yelled in the direction of the door. “Do you need to pee?” she asked me.

“No.”

“Are you wearing Tyler’s jacket? It’s ruining the look of your outfit.”

“Yeah, but it’s warm,” I said as I followed her out of the bathroom.

She glared at the girls who were waiting outside the door and they made pouty faces back. “Bitches,” Jessica muttered.

I figured they just wanted to use the bathroom, given that what was in that keg was basically wheat-colored water, but I wasn’t going to argue with her. Having Sebastian missing seemed to have given her a bit of an attitude, which I could understand. You pictured the night going a certain way and when it didn’t, it was hard to recover your enthusiasm. I wasn’t sure how I had pictured the night, but I had never been enthused about the party to begin with, so I was struggling with my emotions, my feelings of jealousy and hopelessness that even if Tyler was interested in me, it was for one thing only. And even that was most likely out of curiosity or a sense of challenge.

Tyler was standing at the back door, arms crossed over his chest, clearly waiting for us. “Are you okay?” he asked me.

“She went to the bathroom, not strolling through the ghetto naked,” Jessica said, rolling her eyes. “God, you’re being weird, Ty. But she’s all yours now for the rest of the night. I’m going to find Robin.”

She retreated back into the kitchen, pushing past two guys chest bumping. It left Tyler and me alone in a small alcove that served as a mudroom, gym shoes all over the floor and winter coats and North Face all-weather jackets hanging on a series of hooks, giving the small space a crowded intimacy.