True (True Believers #1)(26)
Author: Erin McCarthy

I went over to him by the garbage cans and I put my hands on his cheeks, drawing his face toward mine, going up on my tiptoes so I could see into his eyes with more clarity. “Actually, I’ve never been more impressed with you than I am right now.”

He stared down at me, jaw working.

I kissed him. I closed my eyes and guided my mouth up to his, pouring all of my emotions into the touch. I wanted him to understand that I understood, that I thought he was amazing for the way he dealt with his life. That the fact that he still found reasons to grin and laugh were testament to his true nature, that his desire to take care of his brothers spoke volumes about his character. There was no one in Streetcar like Tyler. He was trying to make the best of his life.

Even if he had taken money to have sex with me.

Okay, so maybe I couldn’t exactly award him sainthood, but I knew right then and there that if Tyler wanted to keep seeing me, I wanted to keep seeing him because there was more to him than he showed our friends. Which meant that no matter what the motivation, he would not be a bad person to lose my virginity to. I was still curious, I was still seeking those experiences that everyone else was already talking about, and Tyler wasn’t a liar or a cheat or someone who would enjoy having me fall for him so he could then dump me.

Whatever his reasons for saying yes to Jess and Kylie, in a completely insane way, I was grateful.

Because I was standing there, and for the first time, really, I felt like I was of worth, of value, to someone. I was comforting him and that made me feel important. That I had something to give.

“Rory,” he murmured against my lips. “God, you feel so good. Why wouldn’t you talk to me all week? It was driving me crazy.” He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight against his chest.

Dropping back down to the soles of my feet, I ran my fingers over the stubble of his beard. He needed to shave. “Because I was afraid. I didn’t think that you really liked me.” That was true. “I kept waiting to be the punch line.”

“Why?” he asked, puzzled. “Why would you think that?”

“Because guys like you don’t like girls like me.”

The corner of his mouth lifted up. “And girls like you don’t like guys like me.”

“Except apparently in our case.” This was his last chance to bail.

But he didn’t. He just kissed me, softly. “Because we’re amazingly awesome, that’s why.”

“I agree. Now let’s go to the grocery store.”

He stiffened. “You’re going to the grocery store with me?”

“Sure, why not? I don’t have any other plans, and I like the grocery store. It’s very organized. It soothes my mathematical soul.”

He laughed and it was a sound of relief. “Well, then, okay. Let’s go.”

In the car, he started the engine and said, “I should explain a few things.”

“Not if you don’t want to.” I knew it was hard to talk about private things, especially when it came to family.

“No, I want to. I don’t want you to think that I haven’t thought about other options for my brothers. But the truth is, there aren’t any. I’m sure you noticed that Easton doesn’t have the same father as the rest of us. The thing is, my mom never said anything to my dad. Hell, maybe she didn’t know, I don’t know. But no one knew Easton wasn’t my dad’s until he was born. When my mom came home from the hospital she got of the car and my dad ran her over with it.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I don’t know how he didn’t kill her, honestly. I was standing on the front porch waiting for her and I saw the whole thing. He just drove over her like she was a Coke can. I was twelve.”

“Oh my God.” I couldn’t even comprehend. I just stared at Tyler’s profile as he drove.

“My dad wound up in prison and my mom had a lot of injuries. It messed up her back and her elbow real bad, and that’s how she started using prescription drugs. Before that she always drank, but not as much as my dad. He was a real violent drunk. But once she got on the pills to help with the pain, she became a full-blown alcoholic. My dad got out of prison briefly but violated his parole by robbing a liquor store, so he’s away for probably ten years this time.”

Reaching over, I linked my hand with his and squeezed it. He gave me a half-smile. “So there’s not much money and she’s always up and down, but the thing is, never once has she hit Jayden or Easton. She only hits me and I can handle it. She used to lit into Riley, too, but he had a hard time controlling his temper. One time he hit her back so he decided it was time to move out. He’s twenty-five and he works in construction and he lives in a buddy’s basement. He’s helping me pay for school so that I can get a decent job and we can get an apartment. Between the two of us, we can take care of the boys. That’s the plan. I don’t want to involve the courts, though, because they’ll put them in foster care first. I can’t do that to them, because who the hell knows what will happen? If we just play it cool and move them out to a place with Riley, she probably won’t do anything about it. We’re laying the foundation, you know? But I can’t move out. It would set her over the edge. She needs a punching bag, and I’m it.”

There was more to it than that. He didn’t say it, but I could hear it. He couldn’t abandon her. He couldn’t leave her alone without anyone, and I felt my respect for him grow.

“That’s not very fair to you,” I said. “But I completely understand why you’re doing what you do. It must be nice to have brothers who care that much about you and the other way around. It’s lonely being an only child.”

“Yeah?” He shot me a teasing look as we entered the supermarket parking lot. “Were you just too much for your parents to handle? Wild child Rory?”

I laughed. “Yeah, right. Actually, when my mother was pregnant with me they discovered she had uterine cancer. She chose not to do radiation so that hopefully she could deliver me. The doctors thought she was insane. They urged her to have an abortion, but she refused. I was born six weeks early, then they gave her intensive chemo and radiation. She went into remission and everyone said it was a miracle.” I shrugged. “But she couldn’t have any more kids, obviously. Then when I was seven, it came back.”

“Holy shit. That sucks.”

“Yeah. I felt guilty, you know, that I killed her. If she hadn’t been pregnant, it wouldn’t have grown so fast.” I realized that I had never told anyone that before. I had never said it, because I had never wanted to acknowledge the guilt I felt. I had wondered if my father felt that way too, if he regretted having me, because if it weren’t for me, his wife would still be alive.