Twice Tempted (Night Prince #2)(7)
Author: Jeaniene Frost

I looked at the remains of the statue and felt a grim sort of kinship. Like me, it used to be solid and whole. Now, also like me, it was so shredded from destructive emotions that neither of us would be the same.

"Damn you," I whispered, and didn’t know if it was directed at me, or the vampire I’d foolishly fallen in love with.

My gorgeous dress was now damp from my exertions, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going back to dinner. Everyone had figured out the reason why I left so they’d understand my continued absence. If they didn’t, screw ’em. I was done being the evening’s entertainment.

Worn out, I climbed up the multiple flights of stairs to my room, glad I didn’t pass anyone along the way. With luck, Vlad would be up late with his guests and I wouldn’t see him until tomorrow. It would give me some much-needed solitude.

That’s why I groaned when I saw that my bedroom wasn’t empty. Vlad stood by the settee, hands clasped behind him, that cursed jewelry box thankfully out of sight. A rake of his gaze took in my sweaty, disheveled appearance.

"Feeling better now?" he asked with his usual bluntness.

Not even close. Just seeing him shattered the fragile control my electrical workout had given me.

"I’m glorious," I said curtly. "In fact, aside from intending to get blackout drunk, I’ve never felt better."

An emotion I couldn’t name flickered across his face. Then his expression became impassive again.

"I regret how tonight turned out. I should have discussed my offer with you in private, but I never expected you to misinterpret it in such a way."

I don’t know what I’d wanted to hear after this fiasco, but whatever it was, he’d missed it by a mile. His ironclad self-control was also salt on the wound. I was barely holding myself together, and he’d never looked more cool and collected. Anger joined all my other roiling emotions.

"The dress, the fancy dinner, all your flattering words, then the jewelry box." I ticked the items off on my fingers. "Really, what was I supposed to think?"

His snort cut me to the bone. "Anything but that. You and I have been together mere months. Do you know how insignificant that is to someone my age?"

A fresh wave of hurt made my tone scalding. "Yes, you’re almost six hundred years old, but in today’s world, when you say things like ‘eternal bond’ before giving your girlfriend a ring-sized box, there’s usually only one kind of ring in it!"

"For centuries, every vampire I’ve made has been given a replica of my ring because it’s proof of membership in my line. That’s useful if my people are captured by allies. Or enemies."

I believed him, but it did nothing for the acid continually being poured over my emotions.

"You don’t get it," I said sharply. "We haven’t been together long by my standards, either, but your scorn at the thought of marriage shows how differently we value this relationship. That’s the real problem, and I can’t ignore it anymore."

His mouth tightened and flames erupted in the fireplace as that shell cracked and his temper flared. I didn’t care. I was the one who’d been emotionally filleted in public and now again in private.

"I do value our relationship. I’ve never shared my private bedchamber with anyone except you – "

"Yet you can’t be bothered to install a toilet," I interrupted. "It’s like you keep showing me ‘This far, no farther’ every chance you get."

Now his gaze blazed pure emerald, all traces of copper gone. "I offered a different solution to that issue tonight."

Turning me into a vampire would indeed negate my need for a toilet. It would also ensure that I spent the rest of an unnaturally long life loving a man who never wanted me any closer than arm’s length. Vlad was known for his mercilessness, but I didn’t think he realized what a cruel fate he’d be sentencing me to if I accepted his offer.

Part of that was my fault. I’d let the emotional standoff between us go on too long because I didn’t want to lose him. Problem was, I never really had him, as tonight had forced me to acknowledge. Despite my heart feeling like it split apart within me, I met his gaze without flinching.

"It didn’t occur to you that I’d see the ring as a proposal because you have no intention of ever offering me a real commitment. I was okay with that once. I’m not anymore."

"You don’t understand."

His tone was flat even as the flames nearby shot higher.

"Divorce doesn’t exist for vampires. With how people can change over time, few of my kind choose to marry. Feelings may fade, but a vampire union never will."

Then his warm, strong hands cupped my face.

"I am offering you a real commitment – a place in my life forever. Even if our relationship ended, our tie to each other never would. Let me make you a vampire, Leila, and watch decades slide by like days while you’re by my side."

I wanted to say yes. The word trembled on my lips, but I forced it back with a ragged, indrawn breath. He wasn’t offering me anything different, only a longer version of what I already had. The fact that I’d be willing to shed my humanity like an old suit was proof enough that I’d do anything for Vlad, yet he still kept his heart deliberately out of reach.

I couldn’t live like that, as a human or a vampire. If it hurt this much now, how would it feel after decades of loving a man who regarded me as little more than a pleasant bedmate?

"I’ll say yes on one condition."

He caressed my face. "And what is that?"

I didn’t blink. "You can read my mind so you should already know. I love you, Vlad, so more than blood ties or the chance to live forever, I want you to say you love me, too."

His hands dropped to clench into fists at his side. "We talked about this – "

"I remember," I cut him off. "The first night we slept together, you told me you’d give me passion, honesty, and monogamy, but not love because you’re incapable of it. I believed that then, but I call bullshit now. You remember the last thing Szilagyi said before he detonated that explosion?"

From the granite set of his jaw, he did, but he wasn’t going to volunteer it. I continued on.

"Szilagyi said he was going to kill me along with him because that would hurt you. Even your worst enemy could see I was more than a mistress to you, but you refuse to offer me anything else. Until you do, I can’t – "

My voice broke, and despite my resolve, two tears slipped past my lashes. I dashed them away, forcing myself to speak through a throat closed painfully tight from emotion.

"I can’t be with you," I summarized. "It hurts too much to be close to you, but continually pushed away."

His expression changed to disbelief. "You’re leaving me?"