Ugly Love
Ugly Love(16)
Author: Colleen Hoover
a God. Ive wondered how someone could make me so
incredibly happy if God didnt exist. And I realized … just
now … that God gives us the ugliness so we dont take the
beautiful things in life for granted.
My words dont make Rachel smile.
My words make Rachel frown.
My words make Rachel cry.
Miles, she whispers.
She says my name so quietly its as if she doesnt want me to
hear it.
She looks at me, and I can see that this moment isnt one of the
beautiful moments for her. Not like it is for me.
Miles … Im late.
Chapter seventeen
TATE
Corbin: Want to grab dinner? What time do you get off work?
Me: Ten minutes. Where at?
Corbin: Were nearby. Well just meet you out front.
We?
I cant ignore the excitement that just flooded me with that text. Surely the we means him and Miles. I cant think of anyone else who would be coming with him, and I know Miles came home last night.
I finish up the last of my paperwork, then make a stop in the restroom to check my hair (I hate that I care) before heading outside to meet them.
The three of them are standing near the entrance when I walk outside. Ian and Miles are both with Corbin. Ian smiles when he sees me, since hes the only one facing me. Corbin spins around when I reach them.
Ready? Were going to Jacks.
Theyre quite the team. All good-looking in their own ways but even more so when theyre sporting their pilot jackets and walking in a group like this. I cant deny I feel somewhat underdressed, walking next to them in my scrubs. Lets do it, I say. Im starving.
I glance at Miles, and he gives me the slightest nod but no smile. His hands are planted firmly in the pockets of his jacket, and he looks away as we all begin walking. He stays a step ahead of me the entire time, so I walk next to Corbin.
Whats the occasion? I ask as we head toward the restaurant. Are we celebrating the fact that all three of you are off on the same night?
A silent conversation passes around me. Ian looks at Miles. Corbin looks at Ian. Miles looks at no one. He keeps his eyes forward, focused on the sidewalk ahead of us.
Remember when we were kids and Mom and Dad took us to La Caprese? Corbin asks.
I remember that night. Ive never seen my parents happier. I couldnt have been older than five or six, but its one of the few memories I have from that young an age. It was the day my father made captain with his airline.
I stop in my tracks and immediately look at Corbin. You made captain? You cant get captain. Youre too young. I know for a fact how hard it is to make captain and how many hours a pilot has to put in to be considered. Most pilots in their twenties are copilots.
Corbin shakes his head. I didnt get captain. Ive changed airlines too much. He cuts his eyes to Miles. But Mr. Sign Me Up for More Hours over here got a nice little promotion today. Broke the company record.
I look at Miles, and hes shaking his head at Corbin. I can tell hes embarrassed that Corbin just called him out, but his modesty is just one more thing I find appealing about him. I have a feeling that if their friend Dillon were ever to make captain, hed be on top of a bar somewhere, announcing it to the entire world with a megaphone.
Its not that big a deal, Miles says. Its a regional airline. Not many people to promote.
Ian shakes his head. I didnt get promoted. Corbin didnt get promoted. Dillon didnt get promoted. Youve been at this a year less than any of us, not to mention the fact that youre only twenty-four. He spins around and walks backward, facing all three of us. Abandon the modesty for once, man. Rub it in our faces a little. Wed do it to you if the roles were reversed.
I dont know how long theyve been friends, but I like Ian. I can tell he and Miles are close, because Ian is genuinely proud of him and not at all jealous. I like that these are Corbins friends. It makes me happy for Corbin that he has this support. Ive always pictured him living here, working too much, spending all his time alone and away from home. I dont know why, though. Our father was a pilot, and he was home a fair amount of time, so I shouldnt have misconceptions when it comes to Corbins life as a pilot.
I guess Corbin isnt the only one to worry unnecessarily about his sibling.
We reach the restaurant, and Corbin holds the door open for us. Ian walks in first, and Miles steps back, allowing me to walk in ahead of him.
Im going to the restroom, Ian says. Ill find you guys.
Corbin walks to the hostess stand, and Miles and I are both behind him. I steal a glance in Miless direction. Congratulations, Captain.
I say it under my breath, but I dont know why. Its not as if Corbin would become suspicious if he heard me congratulating Miles. I guess I feel if I say it in a tone only Miles can hear, theres more meaning behind it.
Miles cuts his eyes to mine and smiles, then glances at Corbin. When he sees Corbins back is still to us, he leans over and plants a quick kiss on the side of my head.
I should be ashamed of my weakness. A man should not be allowed to make me feel the way that stolen kiss just made me feel. Its as if Im suddenly floating or sinking or flying. Anything that doesnt require support from my legs, because theyve just become useless to me.
Thank you, he whispers, still sporting that gorgeous yet somehow modest grin. He nudges my shoulder with his and looks down at his feet. You look pretty, Tate.
I want to plaster those four words on a billboard and require myself to pass it on my drive to work every day. I would never take another day off work again.
As much as I want to believe hes being sincere with his compliment, I frown down at the scrubs Ive been wearing for twelve hours straight. Im wearing Minnie Mouse scrubs.
He leans into me again until our shoulders are touching. Ive kind of always had a thing for Minnie Mouse, he says quietly.
Corbin turns around, so I immediately wipe the grin off my face. Booth or table?
Miles and I both shrug. Either, he says to Corbin.
Ian returns from the restroom just as the hostess begins to lead us to our seats. Corbin and Ian lead the way, and Miles follows close behind me. Really close. His hand grips my waist as he leans forward toward my ear from behind me. Kind of have a thing for nurses, too, he whispers.
I raise my shoulder to rub the ear he just whispered his admission into, because my entire neck is now covered in chills. He releases my waist and puts distance between us when we reach the booth. Corbin and Ian scoot into each side of the booth. Miles sits next to Ian, so I sit next to Corbin, directly across from Miles.
Miles and I both order sodas, compared with Ian and Corbins beer. His drink choice is just one more thing to mull over. Several weeks ago, he admitted he doesnt usually drink, but considering he was beyond wasted the first night I met him, I figured he would at least have one drink tonight. He certainly has reason to celebrate. When the drinks are brought to the table, Ian raises his glass. To showing us up, he says.
Again, Corbin adds.
To working twice as many hours as either of you, Miles says in mock defensiveness.
Corbin and I actually have sex lives that interfere with working overtime, Ian retorts.
Corbin shakes his head. No discussing my sex life in front of my sister.
Why not? I pipe up. Its not like I dont notice all the random nights you spend away from the apartment when you arent working.
Corbin groans. Im serious. Change of subject.
I grant him his request gladly. How long have the three of you known each other? I ask the question to no one in particular, but I only care to hear the answers that involve Miles.
Miles and I have known your brother since meeting him in flight school a few years back. Ive known Miles since I was nine or ten, Ian says.
We were both eleven, Miles corrects. We met during fifth grade.
I have no idea if this conversation is breaking rule one of no asking about the past, but Miles doesnt seem uncomfortable talking about it.
The waitress brings us a complimentary basket of bread, but none of us has even opened a menu yet, so she tells us shell be back to take our order.
I still cant believe youre not gay, Corbin says to Miles, completely changing the subject again while he opens his menu.
Miles peers at him over his menu. I thought we werent discussing sex lives.
No, Corbin says. I said we werent discussing my sex life. Besides, you dont even have one to discuss. Corbin lays his menu flat on the table and engages Miles directly. Seriously, though. Why dont you ever date?
Miles shrugs, more interested in the drink between his hands than in having a stare-down with my brother. Relationships arent worth the end result to me.
Something in my heart cracks, and I start to worry that one of the guys might actually hear it fragmenting over the silence. Corbin leans back in the seat.
Damn. She must have been a serious bitch.
My eyes are suddenly glued to Miles, waiting for his reaction to a possible revelation about his past. He gives his head a slight shake, silently dismissing Corbins assumption. Ian gently clears his throat, and his expression changes as he loses the smile normally affixed to his face. Its obvious by Ians reaction that whatever issues Miles has from his past, Ian is definitely aware of them.
Ian sits up straight in his seat and raises his glass, pasting a forced grin onto his lips. Miles doesnt have time for girls. Hes too busy breaking company records by becoming the youngest captain our airline has ever seen.
We take Ians interruption for what it is and raise our glasses. We clink them together, and everyone takes a drink.
The appreciative look Miles shoots in Ians direction doesnt go unnoticed by me, although Corbin seems to be clueless. Now Im even more curious about Miles. And equally concerned that Im getting in over my head, because the more time I spend with him, the more I want to know everything there is to know about him.
We should celebrate, Corbin says.
Miles moves his menu down. I thought thats what we were doing.
I mean after this. Were going out tonight. We need to find a girl to put an end to your dry spell, Corbin says.
I almost spit my drink out, but luckily, Im able to contain my laugh. Miles notices my reaction and taps my ankle under the table with his foot. But he leaves his foot right next to mine.
Ill be fine, Miles says. Besides, the captain needs his rest.
All the letters on the menu begin to blur as my mind replaces them with words like ending and dry spell and rest.
Ian looks at Corbin and nods. Ill go. Let the captain go back to his apartment and sleep off the effects of his cola.
Miles pegs me with his eyes and adjusts slightly in his seat so that our knees touch. He wraps his foot around the back of my ankle. Sleep actually sounds really good, he says. He trades my stare for the menu in front of him. Lets hurry up and order so I can go back to my apartment and sleep. It feels like I havent slept in more than nine days, and its all Ive been able to think about.
My cheeks are on fire, along with several other areas of my body.
In fact, I kind of have the urge to fall asleep right now, Miles says. He lifts his eyes to meet mine. Right here at the table.
Now the temperature in the rest of my body matches the heat in my cheeks.
God, youre lame, Corbin says, laughing. We should have brought Dillon instead.
No, we should not have, Ian immediately says with an exaggerated roll of his eyes.
Whats the deal with Dillon? I ask. Why do you all hate him so much?
Corbin shrugs. Its not that we hate him. We just cant stand him, and none of us realized it until after we had already invited him to our game nights. Hes a prick. Corbin shoots me that all-too-familiar glare. And I dont ever want you alone with him. Being married doesnt stop him from being an a**hole.
And theres that possessive, brotherly love Ive been missing all these years.
Is he dangerous?
No, Corbin says. I just know how he treats his marriage, and I dont want you getting involved with that. But Ive already made it clear to him that youre off limits.
I laugh at his absurdity. Im twenty-three, Corbin. You can stop acting like Dad now.
His face pinches together, and for a second, he even starts resembling our dad. The hell I will, Corbin growls. Youre my little sister. I have standards for you, and Dillon doesnt come close to meeting even one of them.
He hasnt changed a bit. As annoying as it was in high school, and still kind of is, I do love that he wants the best for me. Im just afraid his version of whats best for me doesnt exist.
Corbin, no guy will ever come close to the standards youve set for me.
He nods, getting all righteous. Damn right.
If he warned Dillon to stay away from me, it makes me wonder if he warned Miles and Ian, too. Then again, he did think Miles was gay, so he probably didnt see a possibility there.
I wonder if Miles would meet Corbins standards.
My eyes want to look at Miles so incredibly much right now, but Im afraid Id be too obvious. Instead, I force a smile and shake my head. Why couldnt I have been born first?