Undead and Unreturnable
I used my vampire mojo to convince Mrs. Scoman she had escaped and had no idea why the killer was dead, or who had killed him. I reminded her to tell Nick and the task force the killer's address. We thought she'd make out okay... none of the killer's blood was on her. It was all over Laura.
"Okay," I said on the way home. "I'm a little concerned."
"I lost my temper," Laura said, looking out the window. "I'll be the first to admit it."
"Freak!" Cathie sang from the backseat.
"That's another thing," I snapped, glaring into the rearview mirror. "You're supposed to disappear and be in heaven or wherever you people go after I've fixed your problem."
"Yeah, I know, but I kind of like this."
"What?"
"This." She waved her ghostly hands through my head. I shuddered, and the car swerved. "How cheated was I? Repeat after me: promising life cut short."
"Yeah, but..." I paused delicately. "You're dead. It's time to move on."
"Look who's talking. Besides, I helped you, right? I could get into the house when you guys were standing out on the lawn like jerks. I think I could be pretty good at this. Anyway, I think I'll hang around."
"Oh, Christ on crackers."
"What?"
"Good to have you aboard!" I said with fake heartiness.
"Don't try to change the subject! You murdered that guy. He was just standing there, and you killed him!"
"Killed him dead," Cathie agreed. "Like a big blond roach motel. She's a freak, but I'm totally in love with your sister right now."
"You stay out of this."
"If you think about it, the whole thing is kind of my fault," Cathie confessed.
"Never mind! Laura, what were you thinking?"
"That I was very very very very angry? And it upset me to know he would be walking around breathing the same air as my folks?"
Points for honesty, at least. "Laura, it's like this. I don't know if you're having a bad month, or if certain prophecies are coming to light, or what, but I gotta admit, I'm concerned. Okay? I mean, I'm a vampire and I'm not going around-okay, I am, but that's a totally different thing."
"I know it was wrong," Laura said, looking at me with guileless blue eyes, "but you have to admit, it will be difficult for him to take off his belt and strangle any more women after today. Won't it?" She almost smiled, and was that a flash of green I saw in her eyes?
I decided it was my imagination.
Before I could take the issue further-not that I had the slightest idea what to say, not exactly having the moral high ground-the blue Mustang behind me flashed its high beams twice. Then it snuggled right up on my bumper, and my cell phone vibrated.
"Do they give dead people speeding tickets?" Cathie asked.
"That's no cop, that's my fiance." I hummed the first few lines of "My Boyfriend's Back" and then answered the phone.