Vampires Need Not…Apply? (Accidentally Yours #4)(23)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Cimil growled. “You shame Macklemore—I’m at a thrift store. Where else would a goddess find a microwave for her potpie and new pair of pink hot pants? And a Lee Majors doll! Score!”

Zac felt his face simmer with red-hot anger. “I’m going to hunt you. Then I’m going to rip out your—”

“Truth! I found it! Here is it. The truth is that everything is going according to plan,” she said.

“You mean I won’t be tried for treason? I still have a chance to win Penelope away from that prick of a brother?”

“No. Not that plan. The other plan.”

What the f**k? “Mind explaining.” Now Zac wanted to retch.

“Yes. I mind. But I will tell you this: everything will work out as it should, brother. Now, do you remember when I told you to make sure you had a safe place to hide and to tell no one of its whereabouts? Where is it?” she asked.

“I’m not telling you anything.” No. He’d never trust Cimil again. And if it was the last thing he did, he’d make her pay.

“Fine. Be that way. Where’s the love? Seriously. All right, go to your hiding place and stay there until you are found.”

“Who’s going to find me?” he asked.

“Well, I am, silly,” she replied. “Do you think I’d let you get away with what you’ve done? Tootles.”

“But I did what you—!” The call ended and Zac had the distinct feeling that he’d just been duped into doing Cimil’s evil handiwork. Maybe he should go to his brethren and confess immediately before things got any worse. Wouldn’t they understand this situation? He couldn’t help that he loved Penelope, and he’d be damned to simply stand by and watch that son-of-a-bitch Kinich break her heart over and over again.

Gods f**king dammit. This situation was beyond screwed. Because now Penelope hated him.

“Driver, to the airport, please. The international terminal.” Zac would never forgive Cimil for this. Ever.

Chapter Trece

Ixtab entered Kinich’s bedroom and groaned with frustration at the sight of Penelope stretched across red satin sheets next to an immobile and much improved but still slightly battered body. With her long, dark hair braided and the floral dress she wore, it looked as though she planned to take Kinich for a picnic the moment he woke. Obviously, Penelope would be the fried chicken. And the potato salad. And apple pie.

“You shouldn’t be in here,” Ixtab barked. “It’s been three days now, and he might wake up at any second. And remember, until we break Zac’s handiwork, you’re still Kinich’s favorite treat.”

Penelope didn’t move from Kinich’s resting form. “I’m not leaving.” She lovingly stared at his bruised face.

How could she look at the man like she wanted to ravish him? He was a mess.

Yes. No thanks to you. Ixtab winced. Why was she always causing everyone around her so much pain?

“Penelope, I want you to know that I’m really sorry about this. You, Zac, Kinich. Especially Kinich. I didn’t want to let him fall, but—”

“You don’t need to explain. You did what you had to do and saved Antonio. Kinich will survive.”

“Yeah. Lucky for him that moving truck broke his fall.” Ouch. That really had to hurt.

“What matters is that we’ll get another chance. I’m just glad Viktor and my mom decided to take a vacation from Euro Disney to come check on me.” Penelope paused. “That sounded weird, didn’t it?”

Yes, it had sounded weird. But these days, weird was the new normal. And she was right; it had been one hell of a crowd control job—sixty people’s memories had to be wiped. And then there was that whole saving Kinich and Antonio thing. So, yeah, bet your sweet, icky vampires she’d been happy they had stopped by for a visit.

“How’s Antonio doing, by the way?” Penelope asked.

Ixtab shrugged. “Still asleep. Viktor thinks I messed up the transformation because I touched Antonio right before he drank the blood.” She scratched her temple over her dark veil.

Ixtab still couldn’t comprehend how she’d touched Antonio without preparing herself or saying her chant. And then—wow!—there’d been that very odd thing with their souls, lights ebbing and flowing from one to the other. Perhaps it had been due to the stress of the situation. Stranger things had been known to happen when it came to her gifts.

Well, she wouldn’t risk contact again. Vampires clearly weren’t immune to her powers. Case in point, Kinich. And it was just as well, because vampires were revolting—except for her brother, of course (poor, poor Kinich), who was only temporarily revolting because he looked like a giant heap of steak tartare. No thanks to you. But all other vampires? Ick. They were dead, and she hated death. Well, not hated it exactly; however, to find death attractive? Nope on that. Seriously. How could humans be so obsessed with them? Vampires were lepers. Worse than lepers.

Zombie lepers with missing limbs. Ixtab shivered. She liked humans. Alive, full of light and warmth, and she especially admired the ones who laughed. Francisco had been that way. His laugh had been contagious. It was the reason she’d fallen in love with the mortal.

And the reason he died.

Ugh! Stop that. You’re like a lame one-woman execution squad who keeps firing on herself.

“So, what will happen to Kinich when he wakes up?” Penelope asked. “Will he still want to kill himself?”

Ixtab shook her head. “I don’t think so. Although I don’t have experience with vampires, and Kinich is the first I’ve ever tried to cleanse. I believe I extracted all of the bad juju.” Ixtab looked at her watch: 4:44 p.m. The winter sun would set in one minute. “Shoot. I need to go. I want to be there when Antonio wakes up—if he wakes up—and you really can’t stay here alone. We need to figure out how to break Kinich from wanting your—”

“I’ll stay with her.” Penelope’s mother stood in the doorway. Like usual, she wore something light and cheery. Today it was white leather pants, white suede boots, and a white cashmere sweater. She’d nailed the ex–angel vampire look.

“Just be careful,” Ixtab warned. “I’ll be back in a few—”

Suddenly, Kinich flew from the bed and tackled Penelope.

“Kinich!” Ixtab shrieked as Penelope’s mother jumped on Kinich’s back, but he was too strong. He chomped down on Penelope’s neck, and she screamed in terror.