Vampires Need Not…Apply? (Accidentally Yours #4)(75)
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Gods, she would never get enough of him. Hot water dripping from his hair and brow, the shower’s steam rising behind him as if he were a god, he thrust forward. “Gods, I love you,” he said.

She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of him entering her. Only this time, this time he knew they had all the time in the world; she could feel his calmness, his unfiltered passion for her. Heaven.

Chapter Treinta y Cinco

February 1

Ixtab wore her favorite pastel yellow dress with white daisies and spaghetti straps, and for the first time in a very long time, she entered the summit chamber with a glorious smile on her face. Perhaps because Antonio held her hand and hadn’t let it go for hours, even as she’d gone out on her morning jaunt for souls in need. In fact, he seemed to enjoy the outing more than she had. A woman who volunteered at a battered women’s shelter had been having a rough go of it lately after her husband died. And Ixtab, for the first time ever, performed the cleansing ritual as the Goddess of Happiness, which had made her even happier. Of course, Antonio had an instant snack. It was simply amazing how he converted dark energy into food. It meant that Ixtab could help so many others now that she wouldn’t have to spend her time looking for country-club members. They were truly the perfect team—in love, in work, and in play.

Antonio and Ixtab made their way to the table, but what she saw stopped her in her tracks. “Who did this?”

Penelope and Kinich smiled. “We thought you deserved a new chair.”

This one had several symbols carved into its stone back: a chili pepper, a sunflower, a giant happy face. Ixtab sighed. “Thank you, everyone. That’s the nicest gift I’ve ever had.” She proudly took her new throne, and Antonio stood behind her as Penelope initiated the meeting.

“All righty, everyone. I call this summit of the gods to order.”

Penelope took roll call. Aside from Ixtab, present were K’ak, Fate, Belch, Bees, A.C., Akna, and whatsherface, the Goddess of Forgetfulness.

Missing were Cimil—still in deity jail—Zac, Máax, Chaam, and sadly, Guy. Ixtab’s heart grew heavy. She avoided her impulse to reach for Antonio for comfort. Some pain simply needed to be felt. Instead, she raised her hand. “Penelope. Before we start, has anyone heard from Chaam and Maggie?”

Penelope looked down at her hands. “No.”

Hell. It had been over a week already. “How about Guy?”

“Did someone call my name?”

The deities’ heads swiveled toward the entrance. Guy stood in all his enormous deity glory, wearing tattered, dirty clothes, glowing like a kid who’d just found a ten-dollar bill.

Kinich immediately went to greet him with a hug. “It’s about f**king time. Where the hell have you been?”

“We were freed this morning,” Guy replied, “somewhere north of the pyramid; we were simply spit out into the jungle and had to hike to a phone so the Uchben could retrieve us.” Guy looked him over briefly. “Are those f**king fangs, brother?”

“Nice to see you, too,” Kinich replied. “Where’s Niccolo and the other men?”

“Niccolo is with Helena and his daughter—he couldn’t wait to see them. The others went straight to Euro Disney to join the rest of the vampires—the damned strangest thing if you ask me, but strange seems to be the order of the day lately.” He directed his comment at Kinich’s mouth. “As for me, I’m here because I can’t find Emma; she’s not in her room.”

Ixtab smiled. “She’s in prison.”

Guy’s expression dropped off a cliff. “What the hell? Who is responsible?”

Ixtab quickly added, “She is there visiting her grandmother.”

Guy stared and his eyes filled with tears. Tears! Votan, God of Death and War, had tears streaming down his face! Hell just froze over!

“Y-y-you mean…” he blubbered. “Emma’s grandmother is not dead? I didn’t kill her?”

No doubt because he’d gone toe-to-toe with the old woman in the last battle, Guy believed he’d killed Emma’s grandmother, which would have put the world’s biggest rift between them. The irony was that no one ever survived a fight with Guy and lived to tell. Except for Granny! Oh! This is going to be so much fun messing with him!

“Not only that, brother,” Ixtab said proudly. “Emma has a little surprise for you.”

Guy wiped the tears from under his eyes. “What?”

“Guess you’ll have to go ask her. You’ll also be happy to know that I’m no longer the Goddess of Su…” Guy was gone faster than you could say “happiness.”

“Never mind…” Ixtab smiled at Antonio. “I really wish I could be there to see the expression on his face when Emma tells him she’s having a baby,” Ixtab said.

“And that Emma’s grandmother is cured,” Antonio added.

“What?” Penelope asked.

“Emma came to see us this morning and begged Antonio to suck out the bad juju from her,” Ixtab said.

“Weren’t you afraid you’d kill her?” Penelope asked Antonio.

“I sipped slowly and there was plenty of goodness left in her soul.” He made a sour face. “The good juice tastes awful.”

“Emma must be so happy. She gets back her grandmother and man on the same day. Gods, I just love happy endings.” Penelope sighed. “Okay. Where were we?” She looked around the table.

Ixtab slowly raised her hand. She didn’t want to do it, but what had to be done had to be done. Cimil harmed so many, including the ones she loved. “We must discuss Cimil’s fate.”

Penelope nodded solemnly and wrote it down. The deities unanimously agreed.

“I would like to bring the topic of our brother Zac to the discussion floor,” Kinich grumbled. Everyone raised their hands and Penelope recorded the votes.

“We must discuss Máax. He has broken the sacred law of no time travel,” Fate said.

Ixtab snarled. “No. I do not agree. Máax only did so to save me so that I could save Chaam, and therefore Guy and the others.”

Fate looked at Ixtab. “Did he or did he not time travel?”

“Yes. But—”

“Is it not a violation of one of our sacred laws, one that requires a review?” Fate asked.

“Yes. But—” Ixtab tried to reply.

“Was he under the influence of an evil power that forced him to break our laws?”