Wings of Fire (Guardians of Ascension #3)(71)
Author: Caris Roane

“Jean-Pierre must be going mad by now,” Havily whispered, as though speaking aloud would somehow wound the absent warrior.

“I hadn’t thought of that. I’ve had my own troubles this afternoon.”

“Uh-oh. I recognize that tone of voice. So, what happened, girlfriend?”

“What do you mean, what happened?” Parisa knew her voice sounded strange, even shrill. She had never been good at lying.

“Come on. Talk to me. It doesn’t take advanced preternatural power to get a phone call from you and not know something was going on. Besides, you kind of have break-up written all over you, and I so get that.”

“You do?”

Havily laughed. “What did you think? That the breh-hedden hit me and I opened my arms wide and that was it? I fought it tooth-and-nail for a good long while.”

“I think I hurt Antony.”

Havily smiled.

“What? Why are you smiling?”

“Oh, it’s not what you think. I just love that you call him Antony. No one does, you know, except me. Alison has started doing it as well, but that’s it. Endelle calls him ‘asshole’ like she does all the warriors. Otherwise, he’s been Medichi, I think since the day he ascended. Of course, I don’t know for sure. I’ve only been here a century.”

“Wow. A century. You’ve seen a lot, then.” She took another sip. Coffee always cooled down too quickly. She preferred it so searing hot that she had to sip to keep from burning her tongue.

“I don’t intend to guilt you by saying this, but I have loved seeing Antony with you. Marcus said he’s never even had a girlfriend in all this time, all these centuries.”

At that, Parisa stopped. “What do you mean? As in never?”

“As in never. As in, he’s been shut down since he ascended. Oh, he gets laid plenty. All the Warriors of the Blood do. That’s what that wretched club is for, the one in south Phoenix.”

“The Blood and Bite.”

Havily shuddered.

Parisa didn’t look at her. She didn’t want to admit that she’d voyeured the club lots and lots of times, and spied on Antony when he made love to other women. She felt her cheeks heat up. She wasn’t exactly proud of this part of her, that she was by nature something of a voyeur. Although, to be fair, she never voyeured the other warriors, just Antony.

“I need to ask you something,” Parisa said.

“Anything.”

“If the breh-hedden didn’t exist, do you think you’d still be drawn to Marcus, still be in love with him, or have you ever thought this could just be one enormous lie?”

Havily put both hands around her mug and sipped. Her gaze flitted around then finally landed on Parisa. “You’re very analytical, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I think I am.”

Havily lifted her brows. “Truth? I’ve asked myself the same question many times, but in the end I went with my instincts. I started out loathing Marcus because he had deserted the Warriors of the Blood two centuries ago, but the more I was with him, the more I understood the whys of what he had done and I truly came to respect and value the honorable man I know him to be. I don’t think the breh-hedden can overcome things like poor character, cowardice, embedded personality traits we can’t respect.

“Your difficulty may lie elsewhere because if I’ve understood your voyeur gifts as you’ve explained them to me, you’ve known Antony for well over a year now. And as you probably already know, he’s a fine man, a good man, and he has a great heart.”

Parisa had to look away from the sincerity in Havily’s eyes. She took refuge in bringing her mug back up to her lips. Oh, her friend was way too right about that. Antony was a good man.

“In fact,” Havily continued, warming to her theme, “I wonder if something else is bothering you, something that has nothing at all to do with Antony.”

Yes, her friend was way too perceptive. She opened her mouth to speak, even to argue but one word slid through her mind and created way too much pain. Inaccessible.

She squirmed. She even tossed the remaining inch of her now cool coffee into a bed of ferns and trailing white lantana.

Inaccessible.

“It’s all too much,” she said. The explanation sounded weak, but it was all she had.

“I know I’m going to sound just like Alison and all her psycho-speak, but here goes—you have every right to these feelings. Look at what you’ve been through. Hopefully, Antony will give you the time you need to sort everything out. The breh-hedden isn’t exactly fair. It’s like this massive hand at your back pushing you into things you’re sure you should stay well out of.”

“So what do you suggest?”

“You won’t like it.”

“Try me.”

“Enjoy the sex and let life happen.”

Parisa laughed. “Are you kidding me?”

Havily shrugged. “Well you have to admit it’s kind of amazing, isn’t it? I mean, these warriors are, well, big, and if you recall I was there when Medichi dropped his towel. He reminded me of Marcus. Oh, I sound just like Endelle and now I’ve made you blush.” She laughed again.

When Parisa was quiet, Havily nudged her with her elbow. “So how is it with him?”

Parisa drew in a breath. “Amazing. The connection—”

“I know. It’s instantaneous. Have you been in his mind yet?” She sounded terribly eager.

Parisa met her gaze. She didn’t want to tell her that that was the last place she wanted to be—and she certainly didn’t want Antony in her own head—but the look that overcame Havily’s face was something medicine should study. She looked in turns euphoric and hungry.

“No, I haven’t been in Antony’s mind. I’m not sure I think it’s a good idea. And if it’s all right with you, I need to change the subject.”

Havily sighed. “Well, believe me, I do understand what you’re going through.”

“Thanks for coming, Hav. This really helped.”

“Good. I’ve missed you, you know.”

Parisa nodded. This was such a strange sensation. Havily really was her friend, had been her friend from the beginning. She’d never really had friends on Mortal Earth. She enjoyed the women she worked with but friendship was something she’d known so little of and really didn’t quite know how to embrace.

Havily reached into the pocket of her cream-colored tailored slacks. She withdrew her phone and glanced at the screen. “Oh, Lord, it’s Endelle. I have to get back. I kind of snuck out. She probably just figured out I was missing. I’m on a very short leash these days.”