Worth the Risk (The Game #4)(45)
Author: Emma Hart

It actually hurts he thinks I’d go and do that after I promised him I wouldn’t.

“I said I wouldn’t do that. I told you I’d try my best not to do all that shit and you don’t even think I can stop, do you?” My eyes meet his and he steps forward.

“Rox.”

I move my arm away from his outstretched arm. “You don’t think I can, do you?” I repeat. “Admit it. You didn’t believe it so you rushed over here to ask if I bought anything. You didn’t ask if I walked away. You automatically assumed the worst.”

Kyle’s shoulders slump and he runs a hand through his hair. I’m right. We both know it.

I take a deep breath, my stomach clenching. “You can go now,” I whisper and turn away from him.

“What?”

“Please go,” I whisper again. “I don’t know if I can be around someone who thinks so little of me right now.”

“Is that what you think?”

“At least I can admit what I think.”

“Yeah, let’s ignore the fact I thought that because I care about you, shall we?”

“Don’t throw that in my face. You don’t believe I can stop drinking and shit and that’s that.”

“How many times? I didn’t say that!”

I cover my face with my hands and a lump forms in my throat. “No, you didn’t, but you meant it. So go. Please.”

“This isn’t over, Rox. Call me when you’ve calmed the f**k down.”

He leaves my room and his footsteps are heavy on my stairs. I cross my room and slam my door, falling against it, and tears build in my eyes.

One week ago he asked me to stop the way I’ve been acting, and already he’s given up on believing in me.

I don’t want to listen to him talking reason. I don’t want to listen to him trying to dig himself out of what he didn’t say, because what he did say is enough.

He knows me better than anyone – maybe even better than Iz and Selena – but he doesn’t know me well enough to trust me to keep my word.

Tears drip down my cheeks and I lean my head back against the door.

“Fuck you,” I whisper.

Chapter Twenty-Two – Kyle

Three days.

It’s been three goddamn, stupid days since she made me walk out on her and I’m running out of options. I’m running out of things to do to make her stop and keep her that way. I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do.

Whatever progress I’d made, whatever convincing I’d done, I’ve f**ked it all up by speaking first and thinking after. I’m back at square one, except this time I have a lot more to make up. I have to convince her I believe in her and that I know she can do his.

Shit, I need her to do this. For her. For me. For us. She has to do it. She has to accept Cam’s gone so she can move on. Every time she drinks she’s holding onto something that doesn’t exist. She needs to step back from it and hold on to what does exist.

The memories. The good times. The future.

I know she’ll never forget that night. She watched him crash and watched him die only an hour later, but she can’t let be that be her focal memory of him. The only way she’ll be able to ease the pain is by thinking of the good times we all had together. She’ll only ease the pain by remembering.

I’m the person that could help her remember.

And I’ve f**ked that up.

I’ve destroyed everything we’ve had between us. I should have known better than going round there and asking like that. Roxy’s temper is as short as Snow White’s dwarves and flares up without a seconds warning. I should have known she’d react that way… The same way I did.

Speak first, think later.

Impulsively.

But everything about us has been impulsive. Every fight, every kiss, every time we’ve had sex… They’ve all happened in a crazy spur of the moment that wrapped us up before we’d even had a chance to think about it. So of course this would be too.

I shouldn’t have expected it to be anything but.

Si walks through my front door and smacks me round the head. “Get your f**kin’ ass off your sofa and in my car.”

“What for?”

“Party. We need to cheer you up you miserable dick.”

“I don’t need cheering up. I’m chirpy as f**k. See?” I fake grin.

He laughs. “Look, man, Roxy will be there. Go see her, chat a little then go wherever you guys go when you sneak off and do whatever.”

“It’s gonna take a bit more than a damn chat to get her to go anywhere with me willingly right now.” I lift myself from the sofa and follow him out to his car.

Hey – she isn’t coming to me anytime soon, so I’m gonna have to go to her.

“Ben really starred, huh?” Si glances at me.

“Nah, it was me. He was just telling me what he saw – I’m the one that assumed shit. I should have just asked her properly instead of half-accusing her, or better yet, not said a f**kin’ word.”

He shrugs. “You only did it ‘cause you care about her.”

“Yeah? Do me a favor and tell her that will you?”

“I would if I didn’t think she’d rip my balls off.”

“Nice to know you value your balls over our friendship.”

We grin at each other but mine is still half-hearted. Dread is settling in my stomach and I know why. Roxy and party go hand in hand too well, and I’m afraid of what I’ll find here. I’m afraid I’ll find her drunk, maybe high, or maybe even with another guy.

And I wonder why she thinks I don’t believe in her.

Fuck.

Music booms from the house Si pulls up to and I don’t even care enough to see where we are. Seeing her is all I care about. I push my way through into the house and look in each room as we go past. Si does the same, and we find her in the kitchen.

She glances up as we enter and her blue eyes crash into mine. They’re heavy. Sad. Soft. Angry. Hard. They’re a mixture of so many things, making my stomach twist in guilt for a moment before she turns away.

“Ouch,” Si mutters.

“Thanks for that.” I take the beer he hands me.

“Anytime. What you gonna do?”

“Same thing I did before when I wanted her to talk to her. Piss her off.”

“Don’t be a prick, Ky,” Iz says, coming up behind me and standing next to me. “I think she’s pissed off enough at you.”