You Make Me (Blurred Lines #1)(43)
Author: Erin McCarthy

“You’re what? Soulmates?” She snorted. “Why do I feel like that’s just the ultimate excuse to be selfish and melodramatic?”

That hurt. “I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t ask for Heath to show up here and I didn’t ask for Ethan to be jealous.”

For some reason, she was furious and I was starting to think it wasn’t even totally about me.

“Oh, poor you! Oh my God, two guys are madly in love with me, what should I do?” She used a high-pitched mocking voice before returning to her normal voice. “It must be so f**king hard to have to choose between two guys who think you crap rainbow shit.”

Tears sprang to my eyes. “Aubrey.” I wasn’t even sure what to say. Did she think any of this was easy? Did she think I’d had some kind of devotion filled life? Saturated with happiness? She was the one with the normal family and the normal house and the normal expectations. I didn’t need sympathy for my childhood but I didn’t need someone telling me it was a cake walk. “Is that what you think of me? That I’m some pampered princess?”

“It’s just hard to dredge up sympathy when you have two guys clamoring for you and I can’t get a guy to even put any amount of effort into having sex with me, let alone dating me.”

I’d known she was feeling lonely and angry at guys, but I hadn’t realized how deep the nerve went. “I’m sorry. I know there’s a guy out there for you. But I guess I should have told you more about my life before UMaine or maybe you would understand. I guess that’s my bad.”

“Maybe you should have.” She sighed. “Look, I just feel caught in the middle, okay? My best friend and my brother. It sucks. And I get why they love you, I don’t mean that I don’t.” She gave a tight smile. “I mean, I dig you too, or we wouldn’t be friends. But I’m feeling bitter that some chicks seem to inspire devotion and others, myself included, only seem to inspire lust, and that’s half-assed at best. I can’t even get a loser to want to be with me.”

I wasn’t even sure what to say to that. I couldn’t say that I thought maybe she led with her vagina when it came to guys, and established that she was for fun, nothing more. It was one thing to be all in for the booty call and make it known that was what you were going for, but she used that as a cover, a mask. She really wanted more, and each time she settled and told herself she wasn’t settling, it eroded her self-esteem. But there was no going Dr. Phil on her or she’d chalk it up to me being patronizing.

Standing up, I went over and inserted myself between her and the desk, perching my ass on her open textbook. “Hey. Knock it off. That is not true. And losers are too intimidated to go for you. Why don’t you just focus on the right types of guys instead of going along with whatever douche hits on you?”

She looked up and gave me a wan smile. “Sure. No problem. Now are you going to be dating Heath? Give me the truth, a head’s up here, so I can figure out what the hell I’m going to say to Ethan.”

Wincing, I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m sorry you’re in that position. Do you want me to talk to Ethan?” I would basically rather let fire ants attack my crotch, but it was probably the right thing to do. “But yes, we’re going to be… dating.” I wasn’t sure that was even the right term for it but I didn’t have a better one.

“No. I honestly don’t think you should talk to him. It will be easier for him coming from me. Though I don’t think he’s going to be all that surprised.”

“No. I don’t think he will be.” I was truly sorry for that. I was sorry for a lot of things. “I know it sounds weird and shitty and selfish, but I don’t regret any of the time I was with Ethan. It hurt like hell when he broke up with me. I know you’re thinking how can I say that when I’m already involved with Heath again, but it’s two separate things… Ethan is such a good guy and he gave me respect and a stable, even relationship, and I did, do love him. I’m not just some c bag who used him. I really hope you know that.” I sighed. “I can’t explain it, but it is possible to love two guys. It’s just different.”

“I don’t think you’re a c bag. Though I would like to hear you actually say cunt out loud.” She gave me a wicked smile. “And you’re already wincing. It’s ironic, isn’t it? I was raised all white collar suburban and I’m the one with the sailor’s mouth. You grew up around fishermen and you’re uncomfortable with cunt.”

She was one hundred percent right. I was physically squirming. “Stop saying it. God, I hate that word.”

Aubrey laughed.

My phone buzzed. I pulled it out. It was a text from Heath. I immediately blushed, I couldn’t help it.

“I bet Heath says cunt,” Aubrey commented.

“Stop!” I laughed. “And no, he does not. Not that I’ve ever heard.”

“He was in the military, of course he does.”

“I don’t think so.” I read the text. I couldn’t help it. I knew I should wait, but I couldn’t resist.

Tonight?

A shiver went through me. We hadn’t talked about when we would see each other again. I had hoped, assumed it would be soon, but after our conversation about being discreet, I figured I was going to have to be the one to suggest when and where. But that wasn’t Heath. I should have known that. He wasn’t patient and he didn’t wait.

It was one of the things I liked about him. He was commanding.

Yes. Your place. What time?

Whenever. Bring your toothbrush. Discreetly.

That made me smile.

But when I glanced up, Aubrey was watching me.

“Be careful,” she said quietly. “Something tells me that this guy is the kind of guy who could ignite like gasoline at any given moment. I don’t want you getting burned.”

She didn’t know him. “I know him better than I know myself, Aub,” I told her, sincerely. “He would never hurt me.”

But she frowned. “He already has, Caitlyn.”

That wasn’t his fault. And I wasn’t going to defend him for it. “No. He hasn’t.”

I don’t like you walking by yourself. I’ll come get you.

Not at the house. Meet you down the street.

Call me while you’re walking.

I dialed Heath as I went out the front door, trying to hide my grin. “Hey,” I said, when he answered. “I think I can walk across campus without imminent danger.”