A Baby of Her Own (Dundee, Idaho #1)(29)
Author: Brenda Novak

She had to tell him. She couldn’t stand here and lie to him again, couldn’t pass him on the streets as she grew bigger and bigger with his child. It was difficult enough living with what she’d done when she’d expected never to see him again.

“I—I wasn’t looking for an ongoing relationship,” she explained. “I told you those lies because I didn’t want you to be able to find me. I wanted to walk away and never look back—”

“You’re not going to tell me you have cancer, are you? Because I’m getting a real bad feeling about this.”

“No, I don’t have cancer. Rebecca just…well, she came up with that one on her own.”

He hesitated, his amber eyes searching her face. “So you’re healthy. There’s nothing wrong with you?”

She nodded.

“You just wanted to lose your virginity in Boise and went to greater lengths than most to make sure I wouldn’t stalk you later or something, right?”

Somehow Delaney sensed that he’d already guessed the truth. She could tell. He didn’t want to face the obvious, was trying to talk himself out of it, hoping she’d help him even if it meant more lies. But the stark reality of the situation stood between them.

When she didn’t answer, he thrust a hand through his hair. “You were trying to get pregnant, weren’t you?” he asked.

“Yes.”

He briefly closed his eyes. “And did it work?”

Everything Rebecca had told her over the past few days about the perils of Conner’s learning about the baby—the possible custody battles, the difficulty of sharing a child, the fear that he might not be the best influence, even the negative comments Roy had made about him—seemed to float to the forefront of Delaney’s mind. She didn’t want to do anything that would risk the security of her baby’s future. But the truth was the truth. She couldn’t get around it anymore. She’d cheated him, and her sense of justice demanded she admit it.

“Yes,” she said.

He gulped air into his lungs as though she’d slugged him, then jammed his hands in his pockets and whirled toward the door. Delaney thought he was going to walk out on her without another word, but after only two steps he turned back. “I can’t believe you did this,” he said. “I can’t believe any woman would do this.”

The loathing in his voice hurt even more than Delaney had imagined it would. “I’m sorry.”

“And what the hell do you hope to gain from it?”

“Nothing,” she said. “I just want the baby. That’s all. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Yeah, right,” he said, and strode out. Then silence fell again. But the peace was gone.

REBECCA WAS ON THE TELEPHONE—with Buddy, no doubt—when Delaney slipped through the door, deposited her purse and coat on the bench that was the only piece of furniture in their small entryway, and tried to slip through the living room to her bedroom. She didn’t feel like talking, but Rebecca glanced up when she entered, took one look at her, and told Buddy she had to go.

“Go ahead and talk to Buddy. I’m okay,” Delaney lied, but Rebecca hung up anyway.

“What happened?” she asked, turning down the volume of a Sarah McLachlan CD playing in the background.

“Nothing,” Delaney said.

Rebecca shook her head. “I’m not buying that, Laney. You look as white as a ghost. And the library closed hours ago. Where’ve you been?”

“At the library,” she said. “Conner came by.”

“Oh, Laney, you didn’t tell him, did you?” Rebecca wailed.

“I had to. How can I keep his baby a secret from him?”

Rebecca smacked her forehead with her open palm and fell back on the couch. “I knew it. You thought I was crazy to come up with the cancer thing, but—”

“You were crazy to come up with the cancer thing,” Delaney argued. “If word of that got around, it could break Aunt Millie’s heart.”

“But it was working. It kept Conner Armstrong away from you.”

“For a whole week? Big deal.”

Rebecca rubbed her hands on her jeans. “I can’t believe it. This is exactly what I was afraid of. Now you’re going to tell me he was mad as hell. And of course he was. Who wouldn’t be? But it didn’t have to be this way. He didn’t have to find out!”

Delaney threw up her hands. “We don’t know that he’s going back to California, Beck. What if he sticks around? Then he would’ve found out eventually. Don’t you think he would’ve wondered when he saw me carrying a baby around?”

Rebecca groaned and covered her eyes, but didn’t answer, and Delaney started to pace the area rug that covered the scarred hardwood floor. What was she going to do now? She had no idea how Conner was likely to respond, Aunt Millie and Uncle Ralph weren’t speaking to her, and she had no job.

Rebecca was the first to break the silence. “Have you ever thought of leaving Dundee?” she asked. “You could move to a big city, start over, escape Conner and Aunt Millie and all the judgmental bull you’re going to go through living in such a small town once everyone learns about the baby.” She leaned over to reach the stereo and turned off Sarah McLachlan, but Delaney caught her hopeful glance. “You could even move to Nebraska with me.”

Delaney sat in her easy chair and crossed her legs, willing the tension to ebb from her tired muscles. For days she’d walked around feeling as though one more setback might make her unravel completely. “You know I’d like to come to Nebraska,” she said. “But I can’t leave here. Aunt Millie might be angry with me right now, but she and Uncle Ralph need someone to take care of them. And so do their friends.”

“Their friends?”

“Mrs. Shipley’s kids went away to college and never came back. Who’s going to look after her?”

“That’s up to her family.”

“She didn’t say that about me when my mother died. Nor did she say it throughout all the years she took me under her wing at the library.”

“You were six when your mother died, and you were always a great help to her in the library!”

“I needed someone, and she was there. Now she needs me.”

“So you’re telling me that even if Aunt Millie and her self-righteous friends put you down, find fault and judge you, you’re going to stay put and take care of them.”