A Need So Beautiful (A Need So Beautiful #1)(25)
Author: Suzanne Young

“But . . .” My mind is running ahead, trying to comprehend what he’s saying, but I can’t. I don’t understand.

“To the rest of the world, she was like déjà vu. A familiar feeling. That is your kind. The Forgotten will help or save someone, each time coming closer to their destiny—and then once they’re done, they’re gone. People forget them, pictures fade out, records are gone. It’s like they never existed. All that’s left is this glimmer of hope in each person they’ve touched. Every person who has known them. They leave us with a feeling like there’s something else out there. Almost like faith.”

“You’re saying . . . no. It’s not true.” I shake my head, disbelieving. I know that Mercy and Sarah would never forget me. And not Harlin. Never Harlin. “How do you know all this?”

“Let me finish,” he says gently. “After Jacqueline, I began to notice things that other people didn’t see. Certain people moving among us, like ghosts. And I didn’t forget them like everyone else. In fact, I was drawn to their light. Soon I began to crave it. I went searching for them all over the world. When I was in Italy, I came across an old church where one of the Forgotten was a priest. He showed me text, ancient tablets dating back to the beginning. And in them was a chronicle of the Seers. I’m not the first. Hell, I’m not even the only one right now. We’re scattered throughout the globe, looking for our Forgottens. We have to protect the light.”

Was this why I’ve trusted Monroe all these years? He’s a Seer and I’m some sort of ancient prophecy? Did I never have a choice?

Monroe reaches into the inside pocket of his coat and pulls out a small leather medical journal. He holds it up to me. “I started documenting my time as a Seer, just like the ones before me, as a way to preserve the short lives of the Forgotten—a chronicle of their time on Earth.”

I want to rip it from his hands and find out everything he knows. But I dig my fingers into the paper of the table and let him continue.

“And after years of studying, I found that every Forgotten has a limited life span. Some start as children, like Jacqueline, others not until they’re adults. I’ve even met a few in a senior center, doing their deeds before fading. They just appear—no life before, yet the universe compensates for that, gives them an identity. And then light grows inside the body until it’s compelled to help. It will brighten until you’re finally set free.” He stops, his hand shaking as he holds the book. He opens it, turning toward the middle.

“No life before,” I repeat. “So it wasn’t post-traumatic stress that took my memories.”

“No. I only told you that so you wouldn’t be frightened, sweetheart. I’ve tried to do the best I can for you. I care about you, Charlotte. I’ve loved all of the Forgotten in some way. Especially you. But I always lose.” His face breaks a little before he straightens it. “I can’t stop your crossover. I’m so sorry.”

“No.” I shake my head. It’s too horrible to comprehend.

Monroe blows out a breath and I see the doctor side of him take over again. It’s his defense mechanism. “As your skin peels, I can apply a compound, enough to hide you in normal circumstances. But your time is short. Maybe a few weeks?” He pauses. “Maybe less.”

The pain in my chest is going to kill me and I lie on the exam table and curl up. I feel like a child. I’m scared and alone, just like I was in the moments before Mercy found me in the hospital. Inside I know that Monroe is telling me the truth, but it hurts too much to believe. I can’t let myself believe him. “My family won’t forget me,” I murmur.

“That’s the hardest part,” he says, tilting his head to look at me. “You will slowly be erased from their memories until there are none left. Eventually they won’t even remember having met you. That’s why I’m here. Because even when everyone else forgets you, I’ll still be here. I’ll guide you until the end, just like I did for the others.”

“I don’t want to end.” I climb down from the table. “You have to fix this. Otherwise I’ll ask Onika. She says there’s a way to—”

Monroe stands up and grabs me hard by the shoulder. “You stay away from that beast,” he hisses. “Don’t you listen to a word her forked tongue spews.”

“What?” He’s hurting me, but the look of terror on his face has me shaken. “But she said—”

Suddenly there’s a tug in my gut, but when I try to ignore it, it becomes an intense pain. I wince, pulling away from Monroe to lean back over the table. “It’s the Need.”

“The Need?” he whispers to himself, as if he likes the term.

“Make it stop,” I growl, pushing my forehead down into the table as I continue to writhe. “Make it stop.”

He’s at my ear. “Don’t fight it. It’ll destroy you.”

“It’s destroying me anyway!” There’s another painful turn, this time at my side, and I scream.

I’m compelled to leave. My body feels like it’s on fire and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to stop myself from going. I still have so many questions. But I can’t stay. The Need won’t let me.

I straighten up as best I can and back away. I feel like a puppet, only instead of strings, I’m guided by ribbons of heat that tear through my flesh. There’s a file set in the plastic basket on the back of the door and I have to reach for it.

Monroe says nothing as I yank the folder out and flip it open, the pages blurring in front of me. I’m pushing through the papers, waiting for something to come into focus. And then it does. It’s the name of a pharmacy. Dell’s Drugs. Dell’s is just a block or two away, and all at once I know that someone is there waiting for me. Waiting right now.

My feelings fade but I don’t move. I don’t want to go. “What happens if I don’t fulfill the Need?” I ask without turning around.

“You must. It’s your destiny.”

“What happens if I don’t?” I ask again louder.

“Then the light will be lost. The people you’re meant to save will lose hope because they won’t feel that love. That acceptance.”

I laugh bitterly, the cruelty of it too much. “So I just have to sacrifice myself? Dissolve?” My hand clasps the doorknob. My body is pulling me out the door, but I have to hear him out. I want him to tell me I don’t have to go.