A Need So Beautiful (A Need So Beautiful #1)(50)
Author: Suzanne Young

“Plus your accent is totally obnoxious.”

“I’ll try to remedy that.”

I pause, my smile fading as we watch each other silently. “I’ll miss you too,” I murmur. And then Monroe nods and turns back to the road.

“I have some things at the office,” he says. “Some ways to disguise the transformation—latex and makeup. But it’s not completely foolproof. Harlin and Mercy might be able to tell the difference if—” He stops.

“If they can even remember me?”

He nods.

“A rubber face,” I say to myself. “Can’t I just burst now or whatever it is that I’m supposed to do?” I might as well since I’ll never see Harlin again. The thought hurts like a punch, so I push it away. I won’t think about him again. I can’t.

Monroe shakes his head. “It’s not your time yet,” he says.

“Do you have the itinerary? I seem to have lost mine.”

“Don’t be a smartass.”

“It’s what I do, Monroe.”

We pull into the clinic parking area and I wait as he comes around the car to let me out. “Just keep your head down,” he says. He adjusts my hood and pulls it down to shield my face as much as possible. He puts his arm over my shoulder, turning me toward him as we walk to the front door. It opens with a jingle. He’s moving fast and I nearly stumble.

“Dr. Swift,” Rhonda calls, standing up from behind her desk. “You had several calls while you were gone. I told them—”

“Not now, Rhonda,” he answers quickly, ushering me forward and to his office. “I have to work with Charlotte on something.”

“Who?”

Monroe and I both stop, but I don’t look up. My heart is frozen.

“Charlotte Cassidy?” he says slowly.

“Oh . . .” I hear in her voice that after working together and knowing me for close to ten years, my name is only vaguely familiar to her. I silently say good-bye to Rhonda.

Monroe shifts on his feet, obviously distraught, and tightens his arm around me. “I don’t want to be disturbed,” he adds.

“Stop squirming.”

“It’s cold,” I say, cringing every time he wipes the brush along my face. Monroe has created a smooth, latex-based makeup that will cover the gold. But it’s thick. It makes me look like I’m wearing too much foundation, but it’s better than walking around gold and glowing.

“There,” he says, stepping back to admire his work. “Of course, this only really works for the face. It’s too complicated to make a batch large enough for the entire body.”

I shrug. “No one sees my body anymore.” I wonder if, like Rhonda, Harlin has forgotten me already.

“It’s for the best,” Monroe whispers. I’d told him about the fight with Harlin and how he broke up with me when I wouldn’t tell him the truth. I also explained about the lawyer and how the man who killed Harlin’s father would go to jail. Monroe agreed that I shouldn’t interfere with the Need. That if Harlin knew, he might somehow affect it, and who knows what could happen. He said I did the right thing by leaving Harlin’s. I want to believe him.

I hang my head as I wait for the makeup to dry, forcing myself not to cry so it won’t be ruined. “What do I do now?” I ask. I look down at my hands in my lap and pull off my gloves. The glow is bright underneath. I realize that I’m resigned to it. It’s just what I am now.

Monroe watches me with a sad expression. “Remember,” he says quietly, “you’re still you, Charlotte.”

I lift my eyes to meet his. “Charlotte doesn’t exist,” I say. “No one will ever remember me.” And the statement in my ears is the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard. Because I never existed. There is no such thing as me.

“You’ve helped a lot of people,” he says. “They may not remember it was you. But you’ve changed their lives. Even the ones who weren’t your Needs. Mercy, Sarah, Harlin—they’ll all remember the love you gave them. That can’t be taken away.”

“Am I an angel?” I ask, sniffling hard to try to keep away the tears.

“You’re more than that.” Monroe puts his hand on my shoulder. “And I can promise you one thing: I will never forget you, Charlotte Cassidy.”

At least there’s that. At least there’s Monroe.

The phone on his desk buzzes and we both jump. “Dr. Swift?” Rhonda’s voice comes over the intercom. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but we have an emergency.”

He looks back at me, and I try to smile. “Go,” I say. “I’ll call you if I burst into light or something.”

He looks at me thoughtfully. “I’ll talk to you soon,” he assures me, and squeezes my shoulder before leaving his office.

“Wait, Monroe?” I call as he gets to his door.

“Yes?”

“Do you think I still have time to say good-bye to Sarah?”

He seems to think about it for second, and then meets my eyes. “Hurry.”

Monroe walks out and my heart begins to race. Hurry. Hurry as in five minutes from now or five hours? I have to see her. I have to say good-bye, even if she doesn’t know what the hell I’m talking about.

I stand quickly and check my reflection in the mirror Monroe had left out on his desk. I don’t look great, but I don’t look awful, either. I figure I can bluff my way through it, blame it on a bad mall makeover or something.

Just in case, I take out my phone and smile when I see that I have a text message that was sent a few hours ago. It’s from Sarah.

Frankie’s for lunch?

It’s a little late for lunch, but maybe I can catch Sarah before she leaves. I shove the phone back into my pocket and rush out, hoping to have one last time with my best friend. Hoping to have one last chance to feel human.

Chapter 23

A s the bus pulls up in front of Frankie’s, I see Sarah walking away with a white takeout bag. I’m so relieved as I run to her, calling out and waving wildly to get her attention.

Sarah glances over and smiles, then nods at me. “Hi,” she says cautiously.

She looks better than she did yesterday. Her hair is smooth and her eyes have been made up, but her jacket is long and conservative. It looks like something her father would approve of.

“Sorry I missed your text,” I say. “I’ve had a crazy morning.”