A Want So Wicked (A Need So Beautiful #2)(48)
Author: Suzanne Young

Harlin enters, his hands in his pockets as he takes in the scene. He makes his way over to sit on Lucy’s unmade bed. “Your sister’s angry,” he says. “Has been for a while. She probably tossed out the photos when her image began disappearing from them. Trashed the rest in a rage.” Harlin leans to put his elbows on his knees, his interlaced fingers under his chin. “I’m no longer drawn to her, Elise.” He meets my eyes. “I think she’s made the choice to stay.”

I almost can’t digest his words. I spin around the room, searching for something. Anything that can give me hope that it’s not true. I’m the one who told Lucy not to give up. I hadn’t realized what she was. I would never have let her stay—not like this. Not like Onika.

“What does this mean?” I ask.

“She’s lost, Elise. If she’s a Shadow, she’s lost. Consumed with hatred and temptation. Want. Your sister’s gone.” He whispers the last part, and I have to lower myself to the floor, not sure I can stand anymore.

“How did you let this happen?” I ask, even though I know I can’t fully blame him. But maybe if he would have told me, I could have done something more.

This isn’t happening. None of this is happening. I’m going to wake up in my bed, and my sister will be next to me, whispering secrets, and our father will be making pancakes in the kitchen.

“The first time I met Lucy was a few weeks ago,” Harlin begins in a low voice. “I found her sitting near the office of my motel, crying. She’d been there fulfilling a Need, although she calls it being a Good Samaritan.” He smiles sadly. “I hadn’t told her my name, just that I understood what she was going through. She was so glad. She was so alone.”

Harlin brings his fist to his mouth as he holds back his emotion. “We met a few more times after that. I told her about the destiny she had to fulfill, and it devastated her. She asked then about the Shadows. Said one had been coming to her, telling her that she didn’t have to go. I explained what the Shadows were, but I could feel her slipping further and further away.” Harlin looks up. “And then I met you.”

I almost can’t hold his gaze, the desperate way he watches me now.

“At first,” he says, “I didn’t know you were a Forgotten. When I realized, I still couldn’t stay away, even though I tried. Shadows were after you; I saw them myself. I wanted to protect you.”

“And my sister?” I ask.

“I didn’t know she was your sister until the day I came here. When she saw me with you, Lucy was furious. She was afraid I’d tell you what she was, begged me not to. It’s my duty. I keep her secrets, Elise. She was my Forgotten.”

“I could have helped.”

“Are you sure?” he asks. “Are you sure you could have sent your sister into the light? Could you have really let her go?”

I don’t know the answer. Instead sickness washes over me, the devastation of the situation settling in, twisting my insides. My life—my life—is falling away. My sister may be gone forever, or really, something much worse. My poor father, who has dedicated his life to helping others, to loving us, will lose his entire family. It’s too much for me to bear. It’s all just too much.

When I’m calmer, I get to my feet and walk about my sister’s room again. In the trash, I see a picture. It’s when I pick it up that I know. I smile sadly at the photo of me and Lucy from last summer. We were up in Colorado Springs—hiking to a waterfall. My father had snapped the picture. We stand there dressed in tank tops and baseball caps, grinning madly with our arms over each other’s shoulders. Her image isn’t the least bit faded. She’s a Shadow.

No one will forget her now, but she probably doesn’t know the consequences. Know that she’ll have to spread evil in return.

I tuck the picture into my back pocket. I turn to Harlin, feeling a mixture of anger and love for him. I hate to see him so broken, but at the same time I’m not sure I can forget that he kept this from me.

“We were supposed to be honest with each other,” I say. “We were going to tell each other everything.”

“I understand if you can’t forgive me,” Harlin murmurs. “But I don’t think I can survive you not loving me anymore.”

I nearly sway with the grief in his words. But I won’t make him feel better right now. I need to wait for my sister—I need her to know that I’ll be here for her no matter what she’s become. “Get out of my house,” I say.

There is a hint of memory wanting to come out, but I don’t let it. Instead it fills me with knowledge. I suddenly know that Harlin has always bottled everything up—the pain from his father’s death, from my leap from the bridge. He never lets anyone see what’s breaking inside, but I always could. There was a time when all I wanted was to take away his pain. But in front of me now is the remains of a guy who gave up—only to find a reason to go on again. Me. But I can’t save him. I never could.

I walk out of the room then, forcing away my feelings. All I let myself think about is Lucy—and how I’ll fix this somehow. I don’t care what my destiny is. There has to be a way.

When I open the front door and wait, Harlin emerges from Lucy’s room, his face blotchy, drawn. I think that it’s dangerous for him to ride his motorcycle, but then decide that he’s an adult. He can take care of himself.

“I’m staying with Monroe at the Sunset Motel,” he says quietly as he pauses in front of me, unable to meet my eyes. “If you need me—”

I step back, not acknowledging that I do need him, but won’t have him. I think that maybe we love each other too much. That it causes us to be reckless and stupid. That in the end, maybe we’re just not meant to be.

“Good-bye, Harlin,” I say. And when he walks out onto the porch, I slam the door behind him.

I wait on the couch for my sister. I don’t call my father, unsure of what I’d even tell him. Now that Lucy’s a Shadow, he’ll remember everything about her. But what will he think when he sees her? What will she be like now?

The hours pass, and I glance at the clock. My father said he’d be working late, but I hope he stays out all night. I’m afraid of what will happen if he’s here. When my eyes begin to slide shut, I go to my room.

I lean back into my pillows, trying to keep all of the misery out of my thoughts. But soon, I drift off to sleep. Unable to wait any longer.