A Want So Wicked (A Need So Beautiful #2)(56)
Author: Suzanne Young

Onika smiles sadly at this. “Neither could I. But that didn’t much matter, now did it?” She pauses, as if contemplating her next move.

“If I destroy you,” she says quietly, “destroy the light—there will be no hope. The misery I spread will be unstoppable, not by anything. And only then, Elise, might it let me go. Can you imagine if your every thought, your every impulse, was covered in thick smoke—a choking desire that’s only relieved by the most dastardly of things. Those men from my past—” She stops, composing herself. “The Shadows create the horror of this world,” she continues. “And humans cultivate it—putting it into action. I’m cursed, darling. And that curse is that I can’t die. I will never have peace. And that’s the cruelest fate of all.”

“What if there’s another way?” I ask.

“There’s not,” she says instantly. Then she raises one finger, beckoning me toward her. “I’ll let him live,” she whispers. “Your boy? I won’t harm him, or let Abraham harm him. I think that would be a fair trade.”

I shoot a glance at Abe, and he seems offended that Onika is speaking for him. At the same time, I see that he’s calculating a move. I don’t think Abe likes to lose. Lucy still sits on the ground, watching us with curiosity, a bit of fear.

“Harlin would rather die than see me give up so easily,” I say, knowing it’s true. If she’s going to take me out, she’ll have to take me out fighting.

“Oh, he’s not enough?” she asks, as if I’m being petty. “Well, I’ve got more. You know better than to think that a boy is all I could take from you.” She grins, her face filling in, becoming beautiful again. “I have your father.”

From the corner of my eye, I see Abe turn to Onika. Lucy sucks in a startled gasp, finding her way to her feet, and my heart feels like it might stop beating at any second.

Onika stands in front of Santo’s, looking human. “Doug,” she calls sweetly.

A moan escapes me when I see my father walk out from the door of the old antique shop two stores down from Santo’s. His clothes are dirty, his glasses missing. I know that he’s not a projection, not a trick. She truly has him.

“Oh, Daddy,” I whimper, taking a step toward him. But I stop, not sure what to do. I need Monroe.

“Hey, kid,” my father says, sounding a bit dreamy. I notice then that Onika’s lips are moving in tandem with my father’s. “You’ve been a naughty girl, playing with Shadows.”

“Stop it,” I say, glaring at Onika. “Leave him alone.” I’m grateful that he’s not dead, but her control over him is clear. Although Shadows can influence thoughts, they’re not supposed to take people over. There’s always supposed to be a choice.

“Yeah,” she says, as if she’s part of the conversation in my head. “But things are different now, Elise. What is free will, really?” Her attention snaps to Lucy. “Don’t even think it,” she sneers. “I don’t mind killing my kind. In fact, you and Abraham are really starting to grate on my nerves.”

Abe’s expression is weak as he watches my father, as if it bothers him.

Onika continues to talk, but I stop listening. I close my eyes, reaching for the light, the warmth. I try to reach Abe with the Need. For the first time I can see something inside him, a dull glow, a shred of humanity. I wind my way to it, drawing him out, finding the memory of when he was Forgotten.

I see Abe. He’s a boy in Yuma living with his parents and his little brother. They don’t have much, but the house is clean. Always enough to eat. His dad takes him four-wheeling every summer on the dunes while his brother watches, cheering every time they pass. They’re so happy.

I open my eyes to see Abe staring at me, his eyes glassy as he experiences the memories at the same time I do. He doesn’t want me to see what’s next. He doesn’t want to feel it again. But I press on anyway.

When Abe is sixteen, I watch as his parents are killed in an accident, a hit-and-run. His father lies on the road, his lungs slowly filling with blood as he tries to keep breathing long enough to make sure help arrives. He doesn’t know that Maria is already dead not three feet away. Abe is still strapped in the backseat, unconscious.

The scene changes, and his brother, Richie, is on life support. Abe clings to his bed, begging him not to leave. Begging for his family. And as I watch, his baby brother slips away. Leaving him truly orphaned.

In front of me now, a tear streams from Abe’s eye. But he doesn’t blink or look away. He lets me have it all.

It’s later that same year that the Needs start. He’s living with his aunt, a decent woman who’s never home. It’s easy at first, doing the good deeds with Marceline’s guidance. But then Abe meets a man, a Shadow. He tells Abe he won’t be Forgotten if he leaves with him, but it doesn’t mean anything to Abe. His family is already dead. He doesn’t care who remembers him.

And it’s then that the Shadow figures out what Abe will stay for. He promises that nothing can ever be taken from him again. That he can have power over people, over situations. He promises to make him strong. And most of all, he tells him that he will never hurt again.

I start to cry, knowing that it isn’t true. That even though he agreed, Abe still screams every night. Missing his family. Wanting to go home to them. But he’s trapped, here, in the Shadows.

My heart swells and I’m overcome by his misery. His pain.

“I should have gone,” Abe murmurs.

“I’m so sorry,” I say, wishing my words could mean anything. But in the end they’re just words. He made his choice.

“What is this?” Onika asks, looking between me and Abe. “Elise, I’m not going to play games this time. You come with me now, and maybe I won’t make Daddy dearest go play in traffic.” She hikes her thumb at my father.

I glance at my dad, knowing he’s still in there somewhere. “I love you, old man,” I say, wiping at my face. “I hope you know that.”

He stares blankly at me.

I have to make things right—there are no other options. I have to save my father. I straighten, clenching my hands at my sides, letting the Need build up, the heat. The fire. I start walking toward Onika, ready to have it out, not even sure what that would entail.

“Elise,” Abe says warningly. “Don’t do that.”