All Lined Up

I knock again, bouncing on my toes, finally feeling those nerves.

I pull out my phone to text him, but suddenly don’t want him to know that I came all the way over here without actually knowing for sure that he wanted to hang out. I head back down the stairs and back toward my car, nursing my disappointment. Even if Stella weren’t currently trying to score with douche-lobster Silas, I still wouldn’t feel like joining her at another party. I love her, but I’m not much of a drinker, and the only other thing to do there is listen to drunk conversations that I find only slightly less annoying than people’s compulsion to post pictures of their food online.

I’m two buildings away from my car when I pause by the party I noticed on the way in. Maybe that’s where he is? Maybe he didn’t hear his phone over the music?

I hesitate just long enough for the smoker I smiled at on my way over to notice me. He’s alone now, a cigarette still dangling from his mouth.

“Back so soon?” he asks.

He’s wearing a beanie that it’s not quite cold enough for, but with his scruffy jaw and surprisingly pretty curly black hair, it works. He’s also one of those guys with impossibly pretty eyes and long eyelashes. He puts the cigarette to his lips and takes a slow drag.

“Looking for a friend, but he’s not home.”

Smoke curls slowly out of his mouth, and he smiles. “You could make some new friends. We’re a friendly bunch. Promise.”

I’m the one who has friendliness issues.

I contemplate how I might find out if Carson’s inside without actually admitting that I’m looking for him.

“You live here?” I ask.

He shakes his head, tapping at his cigarette to release some ash from the tip. “Nah. But I’m here a lot.” He nods at the apartment behind him. “This is my friend Ryan’s place. You live around here?”

“No. I, uh, live on campus.”

He hums around his cigarette before giving a close-lipped smile.

“Freshman.”

“Yeah, so?” I’m defensive, which is stupid. I mean, the whole freshmen are so lame tripe is annoying, but I could care less. I’m just annoyed that I don’t know where Carson is. And I’m annoyed that I care enough to be annoyed.

I’m kind of annoying myself.

He chuckles. “Easy, girl. I couldn’t care less how old you are. Want one?” He holds up his cigarette carton in offering, and before I can decline (because blech), an arm drapes over my shoulder, and I’m pulled in close to a very sweaty, very hard body.

“You looking for me?” Carson asks.

His chest rises and falls rapidly, and I know he’s been running. He’s smearing sweat on me, and my reaction should be similar to Beanie Boy’s cigarette offer (blech). Instead, I find it kind of . . . hot (brain = broken, clearly).

I narrow my eyes on him. “Aren’t you supposed to be taking the night off? How long have you been running?”

He brushes a strand of hair off my face, and thumbs my nose in a gesture that feels both affectionate and condescending, like I’m a little kid.

“I don’t need a mom, Cole. Got one of those.”

“I’m not your mom. I’m your friend.” I shoot him a challenging look, and all he does is grin in response.

“Right.”

He stretches out the word like I’ve just said something delusional, and when he glances at Beanie Boy, it’s with hard eyes that don’t seem very friendly.

“Have a good night.”

Then his arm tightens around my shoulder, and he starts steering me back in the direction of his apartment.

“Hey!” I stick my elbow into his ribs and use it to pry myself out of his grip. “I was talking to him! What if I liked him? You can’t just go steering me around like I’m your pet.”

Apparently, I didn’t wait until we were far enough away, because Beanie Boy shouts after us. “Do you like me?”

I flounder for a response, my mouth doing that unattractive open-and-close bit that makes me look like a fish.

“She doesn’t. Sorry, man,” Carson says, grabbing my wrist and pulling me along a little faster.

“Seriously? I get mad at you for controlling me, so you decide to do it some more? You are really not getting this whole friendship thing.”

“You gave me rules for a friendship. Stealing you away from some guy obviously not worth your time was not mentioned anywhere in those rules.”

“You don’t even know him! How could you possibly know if he’s worth my time?”

He stops and steps close enough to me that I have to tip my head back to see his face. Momentarily, I think about how much I love that he’s actually taller than me. My head is perfectly aligned with his chest so that if I leaned into him, I could lay my head in the crook of his shoulder.

“I don’t know if he’s worth your time, but I do know he’s not getting it. You came here to see me, which means your time belongs to me for as long as I can manage to keep you here.”

I’m beginning to see why other people find my honesty off-putting. There’s no good way to reply, so I change the subject.

“You’re lucky. You weren’t home, so I was about to leave.”

He hooks his arm around my shoulder again, and this time I manage a more appropriate response.

“Gross, Carson. You’re all sweaty.”

“Am I?”

He pulls me into him and buries his face in my neck, wiping his damp hair across my skin. He smells salty and masculine and delicious and gah—seriously, what is wrong with my brain?