Always on My Mind

Chapter Seventeen

Grayson had never wanted anyone the way he wanted Lori, but it wasn't just physical anymore, even though her beauty while she'd led the entire community in her line dancing choreography had simply stunned him all over again, as though he was seeing her for the very first time.

He wanted to hear her laugh.

He wanted to feel her breathing softly as she fell asleep against him, her head on his shoulder.

And he wanted to see her spin a little dark-haired girl around and around in circles, a girl who looked like both of them, a spitfire who would yell "No" at them just as loudly as she would declare her love before falling asleep in the home they'd made for her and her brothers and sisters.

They were all crazy dreams - especially the last one. Dreams that would never be anything more than pure fantasy...but he already knew those fantasies were what would keep him going long after she left. He also knew that keeping her hidden away on his farm for more than a stolen week or two would unfairly deprive the world of her truly special gifts.

Lori made everything finally seem real, gave meaning to what had only seemed like routine before. It was why he was afraid to put her down, to let her toes touch the ground again. If she changed her mind about tonight, then all the brilliant colors she'd painted for him since she'd blown into his life like a hurricane would turn back to gray.

Even after watching her dance, he'd been trying to keep his distance, had been telling himself he needed to do whatever it took to resist her. But then, from across the barn Eric had come for her, to dance with her, to hold her in his arms...and Grayson had simply broken. He'd had to pull her into his arms, had to give in to how good he knew it would be to waltz with her, to put his arms around her and feel her lay her cheek against his shoulder.

He knew exactly why Lori had run from the barn dance - he wasn't the only one who had tripped and fallen into the last person on earth he should ever want to hold on to. But all the good reasons to stay away from her were lost in the visions of her laughing with men and women who never usually took to outsiders, the way every little boy and girl in the barn had fallen head over heels in love with her as she danced with them.

How could they not fall for her?

"I need to love you," he said against her hair, still holding her so tightly, even after she'd promised not to run from him tonight.

Of course, she surprised him all over again when she wrapped her legs around his waist and held as tightly to him as he was holding her.

"Love me, Grayson."

As he finally captured her lips, he realized she kissed the way she danced, without holding anything back. He wanted to lay her down in the grass, wanted to love her beneath the moon and the stars. But he couldn't stand the thought of her soft skin being scratched by sticks or rocks, so even as he kissed her, he was walking back toward his truck with Lori wrapped around him.

"Riding you is so much more fun than riding a horse," she said, laughing against his mouth.

The sound of her joy was so sweet that he couldn't keep moving forward, couldn't do anything but stand in the grass and wildflowers and kiss her.

"I put clean sheets on your bed today," she informed him with a naughty little smile when he finally pulled back from her sweet lips, her gorgeous face lit by the moonlight. "Let's go mess them up." And then she was unwrapping her legs from around his waist, saying, "Race you to the truck," and running off through the field.

Her long dark hair was flying out behind her as he chased her again, her limbs strong and fast as the satin of her dress tangled up in her beautiful legs, her laughter filling his heart until he was sure it was going to overflow. He reached out for her hand just as she reached back for him, and their fingers threaded together as he pulled her back into him for one more hot kiss.

He opened the passenger door of his truck for her, and this time when he helped her up, he let his hands roam across her perfect ass, which she wiggled into his palms.

"You know," she said as he slid in behind the wheel seconds later, "I've never made love in a truck before."

God, he thought as the blood rushed hotter, faster, through his veins, it was tempting. So tempting to stay right here in this dark and deserted corner where he'd parked, and drag her onto his lap, even though he had been fantasizing all week long about making love to her in his bed.

Grayson had spent the past three years controlling everything. His farm. His animals. His emotions. His needs. But now, in the span of a few seconds, it was all slipping out of his grasp.

Because the mere thought of taking Lori in his truck was so potent that he couldn't do a damned thing to stop the Neanderthal lurking inside him from emerging to take. To claim. To possess.

By the time he had his hands on her and was dragging her onto his lap, hers were already on him, moving up his chest. "Grayson." She breathed his name into the crook of his neck, the same place she'd licked on the ride during the storm a couple of days ago.

Though he was on the verge of ripping off her dress, when she twined her arms around his neck and he pulled her closer with desire raging heated and wild all around them, for the moment, just holding her tight was not only enough...it was more than he'd ever thought to have.

* * *

I love you.

Lori knew she could never say the words aloud. Not only was Grayson not even close to being in an emotional position to give his love to her, but he wouldn't be able to accept her love, either.

Only, she'd never loved anyone because of what she could get back from them. And, as she pressed her cheek against Grayson's and felt his breath move with hers, slower now as they shared a perfect moment of closeness, she was shocked to realize that she'd never felt anything this strong, this deep and true, for any other man.

Because what she felt for the man holding her so tightly - as though he was worried she'd disappear if he didn't make absolutely certain to keep her there with him - was richer, and so much sweeter, than anything she'd ever felt before.

She wanted to heal Grayson, wanted to give him her heart, her love, until they finally overshadowed tragedy and pain.

She wanted to make love with him for hours and hours, knew from his kisses alone that she'd never get her fill of being intimate with him.

She wanted to be his partner and have him trust that she would be there for him in a way that no one else had ever been.

And, oh, how she wanted to see him smile. One perfect smile. One full-bodied laugh. And then she'd know that she'd given him something important, something real, something that mattered.

When he started to rain kisses down over her cheek, and then her chin and neck, she used her dancer's flexibility to arch way back so that he could have unfettered access to even more of her.

"Damn you for being so tempting," he growled with a nip at the upper swell of her breast. "Fifteen minutes, that was all we needed to get back to my farm. Fifteen goddamned minutes. Is that too much to ask? Is that too long for you to stop being so irresistible?"

Her heart swelled a little more at every irritated word that fell from his yummy lips. "Mmm," she said when she could finally find her breath again, "I was wondering where Mr. Crankypants went."

"I wanted to take my time with you tonight," he grumbled against her skin as he ran little biting kisses over her shoulder until she was shuddering with need. "But you're tempting me into taking you right here, right now."

Maybe it shouldn't have turned her on, the way he managed to be irritated with her even when they were making out, and yet it did. So, so much. Grayson had made her feel alive even when she believed she was dead to everything she'd once cared about.

She loved the idea of their being in his bed together, of all the wild and wicked ways they could love each other. But as his hands gripped her h*ps to pull her more tightly into him while he licked up the curve of her neck and sent thrill bumps running over every inch of her, wasn't it somehow more fitting that they'd end up all over each other in the cab of his truck?

Their relationship had never followed the rules, not from the start, when she'd crashed into his fence post and he'd done everything to get her to leave but pick her up and toss her off his property. And even then, she'd seen something in his eyes that told her he wanted her, despite all the reasons he shouldn't. Not only a desire for her that matched hers for him, but a soul-deep longing that she also understood. All too well, even when those longings shouldn't make any sense.

Good thing she'd never cared much whether things made sense. No, she'd always simply followed her heart instead.

Amazingly, her heart had led her here. To Grayson's farm.

And into his arms.

"I did promise to be the best darn farmhand you've ever had," she reminded him in a husky voice that said as much about how badly she wanted him as any words she spoke. "I'll bet you never had one who could do this."

With one quick shimmy, she let the slim straps holding her dress up over her shoulders drop, the bodice covering her br**sts falling down with it.

"Lori."

She thought she'd be prepared for his reaction this time. After all, he'd seen her br**sts in the cabin during the storm, had tongued and teased them until she'd catapulted all the way over the edge of pleasure. But the way his eyes darkened and desire completely took him over as he gazed at her na**d flesh...

No, she'd never get used to being stared at with such overwhelming hunger.

"How am I doing so far?" She reached out to brush her fingertips over the square line of his jaw. When he didn't answer, just kept staring at the rapidly tightening tips of her br**sts until anticipation had her nearly wild with needing his hands and mouth on her, she teased, "Would you say this is fine?" She purposely used the not-quite-compliment he'd given her so many times before now.

"Nothing has ever been better than this, Lori. Not one goddamned thing."

Grayson shifted lower on his seat and covered one aching nipple with his mouth, then the other, then both at the same time as he cupped them in his large, strong hands. She arched into his sweet caresses, and groaned aloud when he raked his teeth over her.

He was so big and hard and wonderfully male between her thighs and as she rocked into him, she was already so close that even with her dress and panties still on, her arousal had grown big enough that all it would take was one more tug of his mouth over her and she'd be -

"Oh God..."

Grayson was right there with her in an instant, one of his big hands sliding beneath her dress, up her bare leg and thigh, and inside her damp panties to help intensify the already shockingly sweet cl**ax. With his thumb on her clitoris and two of his fingers slipping in and out of her, her initial orgasm gave way to another, even bigger one.

As she spiraled off and off and off, she cupped his face in her hands and kissed him with every ounce of passion she possessed. He kissed her back just as desperately as he continued to stroke between her thighs, both of their mouths rough and hungry.

When her inner muscles had mostly stopped pulsing in the aftermath of her double cl**ax, she realized just how out of breath she was, that she was panting as hard as if she'd just done all thirty-two of the Black Swan's fouettes.

"My God, you overwhelm me," he said, burying his face against her breastbone as he slowly slipped his hand from between her legs to pull her tightly to him again.

She felt him work to regain his control so that they would actually make it out of his truck and into his bed their first time. But Lori knew she couldn't wait for that anymore, that this was exactly how things were supposed to happen, with both of them too overwhelmed to think straight.

Sex with Grayson in his truck was wild. Crazy.

And oh-so-perfect.

"You overwhelm me, too," she said as she stroked his soft, dark hair. When he tilted his face up to meet her gaze, she whispered, "Overwhelm me some more," then rocked her pelvis into the thick bulge behind the zipper of his dark jeans.

On a growl of pleasure, he pushed just as hard into her, both of their bodies young and strong and so hungry for each other that even the confines of his truck and their clothes could barely get in their way now.

"Please, Grayson," she begged. "Take me. All of me."

As wild as their night had been so far, at her breathless urging, Grayson finally let go of the hold he'd been keeping on his control, and the next thing she knew, he was moving them so that she was flat on her back on the bench seat and he was taking her pretty dress in his fists and ripping it in two. She gasped not from fear, but from excitement, as he reached for her thong next and shredded it to pieces with little more than one hard tug.

All week they'd been vying with each other to see who was stronger, tougher, who could hold out longer, but tonight they were equal partners in everything: passion, desire, need. She reached for his shirt and tore it open.

She couldn't wait to get her hands on his bare chest, had actually daydreamed about it so many times that she couldn't believe it hadn't happened yet. And, oh, that first touch of hard, tanned muscles was so good.

"You're the one who can't possibly be real," she said as he levered himself up over her so that she could run her hands over his gorgeously muscled shoulders and chest, and then the deep indentations of his abdominal muscles.

"You make me forget," he said in a raw voice. "Everything but how much I want you."

"You don't have to remember tonight," she told him, both of them panting from the force of their desire. "All you have to do is make love to me the way I've wanted you to from the first moment I saw you."

He followed her plea with a searing kiss that made her head spin even more than it already was. And his hands, his mouth, were roaming over every last inch of her na**d body. She couldn't possibly keep up as he tasted her br**sts in one moment, then nipped at her hip bone the next. His hands sometimes led, other times followed the devastating path of his lips and tongue and teeth over her overheated skin.

She'd already come twice, but when he curled his hand around her ankle and lifted her leg so that her foot was resting on the dashboard, then stared down at her with the hottest, hungriest expression she'd ever seen, she nearly cl**axed again without any further contact at all.

"Swear to God," he said as he reached out to stroke the slick flesh between her legs, "I've never seen anything prettier than you in all my life." He moved down from the seat to kneel on the floor of the truck before adding, "And I'll bet you taste even better."

She gasped in pleasure when his tongue found her. He'd splayed his hands on her inner thighs to open her up even further to him, and when she looked down and saw his tanned fingers on her pale skin, his tongue moving over her, and his eyes lifted to her face so that he could watch her reaction, she tumbled abruptly into yet another sinfully perfect cl**ax.

Slowly, he kissed his way up her body as he climbed back over her. "You were just as sweet as I thought you'd be," he said right before he covered her mouth with his.

She was working on his belt buckle when he grabbed her wrists. "I need you," she pleaded as she fought to break free of his hold. "I can't wait another second to have you."

"I don't have any protection. We have to go back to my house." He was already moving away from her to let her up as he said it, and she barely bit back a groan of frustration.

So close. She'd been so close to finally having him, and now because neither of them had thought to bring a condom to the barn dance, she was stuck having to shift back into her seat and put on the long-sleeved shirt he handed her over her na**d body for a far-too-long fifteen-minute drive home.

Lori knew she should be thankful that he'd remained lucid enough to stop before they had unprotected sex. Especially after what had happened to Sophie on the night she'd had a one-night stand and become pregnant despite using a condom.

But right now, with need roiling around inside her, Lori didn't feel grateful at all.

On the contrary, what she felt was a clawing need to claim - and be claimed by - Grayson, once and for all.

Only, once she finally got his shirt on and was sitting in her seat, instead of starting the engine and burning rubber so that they could continue where they'd left off, he just sat there and glared at her. Three back-to-back orgasms with no big finale in sight made her ornery as she glared back.

"What's your problem now?"

"I'm waiting for you to put your goddamned seatbelt on."

She started at his tone, and the hardness of his gaze that had been so full of hunger just seconds before, and was opening her mouth on a sarcastic retort when she remembered what she couldn't believe she'd almost forgotten: he'd lost his wife in a car crash. No wonder he was so adamant about her putting her seatbelt on, even in the wake of what they'd just been doing with one another.

With trembling hands, she snapped her seatbelt into place, at which point Grayson pushed the gas pedal down hard enough that gravel sprayed out from his tires.

* * *

Minutes felt more like hours as Grayson forced himself to take the dark farm roads just barely above the speed limit. And then - finally! - he was pulling into his drive.

Lori was about to jump out onto the gravel when he caught her in his arms. "You left your shoes at the dance."

"You had no problem with me walking around in bare feet on the gravel before," she reminded him.

He nuzzled her cheek and breathed in her sweet, wild, oh-so-feminine scent. "That was before I liked you." Grayson was stepping on his porch and was about to kiss her again when he realized she was pushing at his chest.

"I think all the excitement has made my ears go wonky," she declared. "What did you just say?"

God, he could hardly think at all with her soft and warm in his arms, his long-sleeved shirt falling open over her beautiful breasts. He kicked his front door open and tried to remember, but all he could come up with was, "I don't want you tearing up your feet on the gravel."

"No," she said, "after that."

He'd had so many fantasies of Lori na**d and begging for him to take her here in his bedroom, that as he carried her into it, her question was instantly forgotten. He laid her down on the covers, pulled the shirt he'd given her to wear in the truck all the way open, and slid it from her body.

Sweet Lord, he wanted to start all over from the beginning, wanted to make her come another three times with his hands, his mouth.

Just as he was lowering his mouth to her breasts, she said, "Did you even mean it?"

Reluctantly moving his mouth away from her chest, he cupped her br**sts in his hands and teased the ni**les with his thumb and forefinger instead until they were sharply aroused points. "Did I mean what?"

Now she was the one losing hold of their conversation. "That - " She arched deeper into his hands. "You - "

He took advantage of her confusion to lick across one tip and then the other, loving the way she gasped with pleasure as he tasted her. He was just sliding one hand down her flat stomach to the bare, slick flesh between her legs, when she finally got all the words out.

"You said you liked me, Grayson."

Again, it took him longer than it should have for her words to actually make it all the way through to his brain. Especially when he had his hand cupped over her sex and he could feel how wet, how ready she was for him.

But when he lifted his gaze to hers, and he saw the surprising vulnerability in them, he finally understood what she was asking: Was he just making love to her tonight because he wanted her body?

Or had they, against all odds, developed a deeper connection than that?

Grayson knew he shouldn't have let her stay on his farm all week, and that he definitely shouldn't be taking her to his bed now. He also knew that he should be working overtime to keep tonight to nothing but sex.

But knowing all those things hadn't made a damn bit of difference so far, had they?

"I do like you, Lori," he admitted in a low voice. "More than I should."

"I like you, too," she whispered as she reached out to gently touch his face. "More than you know."

Her eyes were full of such sweet emotion that his heart stuttered in his chest.

For three years he'd sworn to himself that nothing - and no one - would ever touch him again. But he'd never counted on Lori Sullivan blowing past every wall, every fortress in less than one week.

And it scared the hell out of him.