Always on My Mind

Chapter Eight

It was amazing what a hot shower and some soap could do for a person. Lori felt like a new woman in clean skinny black pants and a red shirt. Knowing they were actually going into town, she'd pulled her makeup bag out and swiped on some mascara, blush, and lip gloss. The only clean shoes she had left were heels, so she picked a red and black pair with three-inch heels, slung her purse over her arm, and headed back out the porch to see if Grayson was ready to go.

He took one look at her and his scowl deepened. She would have scowled back, but she guessed it would irritate him more if she smiled instead.

She might have forgiven him for being a total jerk out there with the pigs, but it still smarted that he'd immediately jumped to conclusions and treated her as if she were a few brain cells short of a full set and couldn't even manage her way around the simplest thing. She'd gone to dance school in California, but she'd turned down several Ivy League schools to do it.

Without saying a word to her, he headed for his truck. She shot an evil grin at his broad back. The trip to the General Store from his farm took about fifteen minutes, and she figured a quarter hour was easily long enough to get a little revenge for the way he'd acted in the pigpen.

As they headed down his long drive, she let herself study his profile. His cowboy hat was pulled down over his slightly long, dark hair and with the dark stubble already growing back in across his tanned jaw, he looked more gorgeous than ever.

Not to mention extremely unhappy to be stuck with her as his passenger.

Facing him rather than the beautiful view of the sweeping green fields outside, she asked, "Were you related to the people you bought the farm from?"

His jaw tightened, but he must have realized he was well and truly trapped with her in his truck because he said, "No."

"Did you own a different farm somewhere else before you got this one?"

"No."

She was tempted to pull a piece of paper and pen out of her bag to keep track of how many words he answered with during the next fifteen minutes. So far, she'd have a grand total of two.

"But you grew up in Pescadero, right?"

"No."

Didn't he realize he was only making her more curious with his purposely terse - and very mysterious - answers?

"Where did you grow up, then?"

He scowled. "It's a good four miles to either my farm or the General Store from here." He looked at her shoes. "Gonna make your feet pretty damned sore to have to walk all that way in those ridiculous shoes if I dump you out right here."

She shrugged as if the thought didn't bother her in the least. "Someone's bound to pick me up and give me a ride."

"Lori."

Her name was little more than an irritated growl from his throat. One that got her way too hot, considering that Grayson was the last guy on earth she should be interested in. He was so grumpy, and bossy, and domineering...and super, crazy, wicked hot.

Her ex had always been so full of sweet, sexy words, had known how to say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time, but all those words had turned out to be nothing but lies. Whereas when rough, gruff Grayson growled at her, she could only too easily imagine how it would sound if he also growled her name when they were making love and he was moving his big, strong hands over every inch of her na**d skin.

Fortunately, she was smarter now. And completely off men. Which was why she would turn her libido off and very carefully stay on task. There was still the very important matter of getting her revenge for the pigpen incident, after all.

And since she knew exactly how much Grayson hated the sound of her voice - and that sharing personal details clearly felt to him like being gutted with a knife - the best thing she could possibly do was keep on asking him questions.

"You were about to tell me where you grew up," she said, pleased to see a muscle now jumping in his jaw.

"New York."

"What part?"

"The city."

Okay, now they were getting somewhere with his new, fancy two-word answers. "I love New York City. I almost went to Columbia," she told him, "but in the end I couldn't imagine being that far away from my family." And dance training had taken precedence over everything else. Maybe, she wondered now that she was giving up her dance career, it might have been a good idea to get a broader education. Although the truth was that no matter what her future held, she wouldn't have given up all those years of dancing from morning until late into the night for anything.

Grayson had stopped at a stop sign now and was staring at her, his dark, haunted eyes full of surprise. "Columbia is my alma mater."

"You went to Columbia?" Realizing how her question sounded, she said, "Not that I don't think it takes a lot of brains to run a big farm like yours. I'm sure it does. I've just never met anyone who graduated from an Ivy League and became a farmer. What was your degree in?"

"Finance."

Both of her eyebrows went up. "So if you have a degree in finance from one of the best universities in the country and only bought your farm three years ago, what were you doing for all the time in between?"

By now she honestly wasn't trying to irritate him - she was simply curious about him.

"I get it," he said, instead of answering her last question. "You're not happy with the way I dealt with the pig getting out, so you're going to torture me with endless questions."

"My ears are still ringing from your yelling."

"Would it make you happier if I apologized?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow. "You? Apologize?" She made a clear sound of disbelief. "I'm pretty sure I'm going to see one of your pigs fly first."

He stopped at another stop sign and turned his too-beautiful face to hers. "I'm sorry. I was an ass. It won't happen again."

"I was with you all the way up until the 'won't happen again' part. You and I both know it will." She couldn't hold back her grin. "Probably inside of the next ten minutes. Especially since I do a pretty good job of living up to the nickname my family gave me as a little girl."

"Nickname?"

She was so pleased by his unexpected interest in her that she turned the full wattage of her grin on him. "Naughty."

Despite the fact that his irritated expression remained in place, she could have sworn his lips were twitching as he put his foot down on the gas pedal.

How fun would it be to actually see him smile? Lori knew she shouldn't want it as badly as she did. Alas, she had never been very good at being prudent.

Not when impulsive had always been so much more fun.

* * *

After Grayson headed toward the hardware section, Lori found the cutest cowboy hat ever. She immediately plopped it onto her head to buy along with new boots, then waved at her teenaged friend behind the deli counter.

His face immediately turned red, just as it had the first time she'd talked to him, and his voice broke as he said, "Hello."

She was just about to go over and do a little flirting with him when she realized her bag was buzzing. She pulled her phone out with far more caution than she usually did. Normally, her cell was like a fifth appendage. But she wasn't ready to talk to anyone yet, and if anything other than her sister Sophie's face had appeared on the screen, Lori would have dropped it right back into her bag unanswered.

"Hey, Soph," she said as she put it to her ear, "how are the cutest little babies in the world doing?"

"They're fine," Sophie said, which was strange, because normally, asking her about her kids meant getting a good ten minutes of details that Lori was certain only a mother herself could possibly care about. "I got a call from a friend in Chicago who went to see your show. She said you weren't there. What happened, Lor? And where the heck are you?"

Lori hated that she'd worried her sister. She hadn't figured anyone would know she had left the show early, had hoped that she'd be able to disappear for a little while. But she should have guessed that someone in her huge family would know someone in Chicago and that word would get back before she was ready for it.

Lori had always been ready for anything, eager to grab every ounce of joy from life with both hands, both arms and legs. When, she suddenly wondered, had she stopped being ready and eager?

Especially, she thought as she caught sight of Grayson through the slats of the tall shelves on the other side of the General Store, for a man who turned her inside out with nothing more than a dark look, or a very few words. The couple of times he'd actually touched her were still imprinted on her skin as though he'd branded her instead.

"I'm okay," she said first.

"Thank God," Sophie said, and then, "Are you still in Chicago?"

"No." This small farm town she'd chosen to visit on a whim couldn't be further from the skyscrapers and busy traffic in the Windy City. "I'm actually back in California."

"You are? Why didn't you call to let us know you were home?"

"I needed some time to think."

"Lori." Her name on her twin's lips was infused with such unconditional love that Lori nearly teared up in the middle of the store. "Tell me what happened. It was Victor, wasn't it?"

"That's over now." Lori's voice was hard.

"You've said that before, too many times. Do you really mean it this time?"

"Forever, Soph. I'll never, ever go back to him. I promise you, I won't."

Her sister's exhale of relief was loud and long. "How about I leave the babies with Jake tonight and you and I can go catch a double feature somewhere with extra-buttery popcorn and every box of candy in the place?"

She loved her sister so much, and it was so tempting to head back to San Francisco to let Sophie take care of her. But Lori had something to prove to herself first before she could go back to her real life.

And she hadn't yet proved it, hadn't even come close to turning the darkness that had settled inside her these past months back to bright, vibrant color.

"I love you, Soph," she said first, because it was the most important thing of all. Now and forever. But she also had to say, "But I can't come home. Not yet."

"At least tell me where you are," Sophie insisted.

"I'm working on a farm."

Lori could easily picture her sister's stunned expression as she repeated, "A farm?"

"With pigs and chickens and crops. I'm buying a pair of cowboy boots right now."

"How could you have possibly ended up on a farm?"

"You know how these things go," Lori said with a grin.

"There isn't another guy involved, is there?"

"No," Lori said, even though being around Grayson kept making her insides go all hot and fluttery. Even when he was being all grumpy and cranky. Especially then, if she was being completely honest with herself. He was just so different from any man she'd ever known. He didn't waste one single second on trying to be charming or complimenting her so that he could get something from her. "I swear I just need to shake things up for a bit." And, boy, had she ever done that, if the last twenty-four hours were anything to go by.

But her explanations clearly weren't doing it for her sister, who was making little worried sounds into the phone. "Lor, this is crazy, even for you. If you won't talk to me about what's going on, you should at least call Mom."

Panic skittered up Lori's spine. If Mary Sullivan wrapped her warm arms around her daughter the way she had for as long as Lori could remember, she'd fall into a million pieces.

"Does Mom know I'm back?"

"No, not yet, but - "

Lori quickly cut her sister off. "When you and Jake had your one-night stand after Chase's wedding and you got pregnant with the twins, I didn't run off to blab to Mom. I kept your secret as long as you needed me to keep it. Now it's your turn to keep mine."

Her twin was silent for a long while. Too long for Lori's peace of mind. Finally Sophie said, "I don't like this. Especially when I've already been keeping secret everything that's happened with Victor for almost two years."

"Please, Soph," Lori begged, "I just need a little while longer."

"Okay," her sister agreed, "but you've got to make me a promise back."

"What is it?" Lori asked warily.

"If you start to feel like you're really in trouble, promise you'll call me and let me come take you home."

"I promise."

"And - "

"Wait," Lori said, cutting her off, "you already got your promise."

"Well, I need one more," Sophie said, just as stubborn as she was, twins both inside and out. "You've got to promise me you'll come to Sunday lunch with everyone in a week and a half."

Lori clenched the phone. "Soph, I - "

"You had already planned to take a short trip back from Chicago for the weekend to see everyone," Sophie reminded her. "Promise me, Lori, or the deal's off."

God, she hated being forced against the wall by anyone or anything. And maybe if it were anyone but her sister doing it to her, she would have fought her on it. But how could she when she knew she'd be saying the exact same thing to Sophie if their situations were reversed, simply because she loved her?

"Fine," she grudgingly agreed. "I'll make sure I don't miss our big family lunch in a week and a half." Knowing it was long past time to get her bloodhound of a sister off her case, Lori quickly asked, "Have you heard anything from Megan and Gabe?"

"Megan hasn't admitted to being pregnant yet," Sophie told her, "but when I met her for lunch, she got a little green when the guy next to us had the egg salad. Gabe is going to be such a great dad, isn't he?"

"Our brother is going to be an amazing father," Lori agreed. Gabe was a firefighter who had met his future wife and eight-year-old daughter when he saved them from a horrible apartment fire a year ago. "Just like you're a totally amazing mom. Summer is going to be so excited when they finally 'fess up and tell her she's going to be a big sister. And Jackie and Smith Jr. will have another cousin to play with." Suddenly, Lori saw Grayson coming toward her. "I've got to go."

"Back to the farm?" Sophie asked with more than a little incredulity.

"Yes," Lori confirmed again. "Back to the farm."

"You'd better call me every day with an update on how you're doing," her sister warned her, "because I'm going to worry every second until I hear from you again, and if I don't know you're okay, I'm going to have to come after you, whether you want me there on that farm with you or not."

Everyone thought Sophie was so quiet, so sedate, but Lori knew better than anyone apart from Sophie's husband just what a powerful force her sister could be. Especially if she thought someone she loved was in trouble.

"Kiss the twins' cute little faces for me and tell them Aunt Lori misses them and is going to play tickle monster with them soon."

She hung up her phone and slid it back into her bag just as Grayson rounded the corner and came into full view again. She picked up a pair of red and black boots.

"What do you think of these? Aren't they cute?"

Instead of answering, he just stared at her, that muscle in his jaw jumping as he took in her new hat. On a deep glower, his gaze finally dropped to the boots she was holding up.

"They'll do the job," he said with no appreciation whatsoever for the absolutely gorgeous flame design running up both sides of the cowboy boots. "I'll be waiting for you in the truck."

So much for the momentary truce it had seemed they'd come to in his truck on the drive over. Just as she'd predicted, it hadn't lasted long.

* * *

Grayson clenched his teeth even tighter as Lori walked outside wearing her new boots and hat. God, she was cute...and so damned sexy he'd had a perpetual hard-on since the second she'd stepped out of her car that first day in her ridiculously revealing outfit and heels.

It didn't help that he was still seeing red at the way she'd told him she would have climbed into a stranger's car if he'd made good on his threat to drop her off on the road for talking too much. He couldn't believe she would be that stupid, even if he'd been the one to make the equally stupid threat.

On top of everything else, it was hard to push down thirty-plus years of good manners and not get out from behind the wheel to open the door for her and help her up into the passenger seat. But he was very much afraid that if he did, he would rip the new hat from her head and chuck it into the street, because the last thing he needed was for her to become even more irresistible. Unfortunately, the way she looked in the cowboy boots and hat were threatening to rip what was left of his self-control to tatters.

Especially after he'd overheard her side of a conversation with a person he'd quickly guessed had to be her sister. Lori, he figured, had no idea just how well sound echoed throughout the General Store. Particularly when he was - stupidly - hanging on her every word.

Clearly, her sister was worried about her. And while Lori hadn't given too much away to the other woman, she had made it clear that she was on his farm to get a break from her real life...and she had promised to head back to it in a "little while."

The knowledge should have filled him with joy.

But it hadn't.

For three years, solitude had been his companion and he'd convinced himself that all he'd ever need again were the blue sky, a thousand acres of pasture, and the crashing waves of the ocean. Until, from completely out of the blue, Lori Sullivan had barged into his life...and promptly blown his carefully emotionless world to shreds.

All of the facts, the truths that he couldn't ignore, made him angry. With her. With himself. And especially with the whole damned world for dropping someone so irritating and irresistible and impossible to ignore at his feet.

As soon as the passenger door clicked shut and she'd buckled her seatbelt, he started the engine. She had a small bag on her lap and, a moment later, she pulled something out of it and held it out to him. "Want one?"

She was holding out something long and sticky and covered in sugar. It was fluorescent green and wasn't even close to being edible.

"No."

"Your loss." She shoved it into her mouth instead and started chewing the candy.

And that was just the problem. He knew she was right. Because when she did finally decide to leave, it really was going to be his loss.

Somehow he needed to hold his focus on the farm, on the never-ending work that came with owning a thousand acres and more than a hundred animals. "Have you ever worked with crops before?" he asked her.

Around a mouthful of gummy candy, she said, "I used to help my mom with her veggies when I was a little girl. She said I had a green thumb. Why? Is planting seeds next on my list?"

"No," he told her. "Weeding is."

He figured she'd groan at that news. Instead, just as she kept doing over and over, she surprised him by saying, "Oh good. I enjoyed helping her plant things, and seeing them grow was cool, but I always liked ripping things out even more."

He could see the wide grin on her face in his peripheral vision, which was as close as he could get to looking at her right then if he wanted to keep his control from being completely destroyed.

"It's like the difference between a pirouette and a grand jete. Both are fun, but sometimes you've just got more of an appetite for destruction."

He'd spent enough years going to the ballet in his previous life to know what she was talking about. He shot a look at her gorgeous legs. Even in her dark jeans, her lithe strength was obvious, and the beautiful way she moved had caught his eye from the first.

Was that her story? Was she a dancer? And if she was, then what the hell was she doing on his farm pretending to be a farmhand when she should be up on a stage somewhere?

Thank God he pulled into his drive before he could do something stupid, like ask her any of those questions. Her questions for him during the ride over had been bad enough.

From here on out, he vowed to keep them loaded up with so much work that neither of them would have time to worry about anything else, starting with the weeds in his asparagus patch for her and the new roof on his cottage for him.