Before Lucky (Forever Love #2.5)(17)
Author: J.S. Cooper

***

“I hope you enjoyed your meal.” Lucky looked like she was far away as she left collected our plates. “I’ll bring the receipt by in a moment.” And then she walked away from the table quickly.

“Hold on,” I jumped out of the booth and grabbed her arm. She looked at me in surprise and I took her to the corner of the restaurant so I could give her the little gift.

“Can I help you, Zane?” She took a step back from me, and I shook my head. This wasn’t the right time. I couldn’t give it to her now. She’d think I was crazy.

“No, no. Sorry.” I walked back to the table and sat back down in silence. I could see Noah’s face in my mind. He’d be laughing loudly if he could see me now. How the mighty had fallen!

“Here’s your receipt, but don’t feel pressured to pay right away. Unless of course, you have somewhere else to be.”

“Thanks.” I turned away from her before I spoke the words I was thinking out loud. I don’t want to be anywhere but with you. I wanted to slap myself for being such a sap inside. I had no idea who had gotten into my body, but the thoughts I was thinking were not Zane Beaumont thoughts at all.

Chapter 6

I couldn’t stop thinking about Lucky and the smiley face on the receipt. She had also written a little message next to it: “On rainy days, think of the clouds.” I wasn’t sure if she was just very profound or fond of writing messages that didn’t make sense. It didn’t really matter which it was, I was still ecstatically happy that she had written anything at all. It was weird how attached I had become to this chocolate-eyed girl; she filled my every waking hour that wasn’t consumed by Noah or Braydon.

I smiled to myself as the words to my favorite Lord Byron poem floated through my head. It had been a while since I had thought of poetry. It hadn’t seemed right to rejoice in the lyrical sensations of words while my heart felt empty and sad. However, the deep pangs of painful memories were erased when I thought of Lucky. I had come to think of her as my Lucky, even though I barely knew her. It was insane. I felt like a part of me was being driven insane by feelings and desires I didn’t understand. It was more than want and lust, and it was deeper than mere attraction. I could close my eyes and just listen to her voice and be happy.

I paused to grab my pen, and started scribbling notes on my pad. Images of Lucky became words in my mind. Fleeting, floating, graceful swan, chocolate eyes that are second to none. Feel my heart inside me beat, feel the wind beneath my feet. Gazing, staring, laughing, smiling, I want to be the one you’re…. I stopped writing furiously before I wrote the next words. I froze as I thought about what I had been about to write. I didn’t even want to think about it, I couldn’t acknowledge it. I wasn’t this guy. I didn’t want to become that guy. I couldn’t afford to fall for her. No matter what lies my heart told my brain, I was Zane Beaumont. I didn’t do relationships. I didn’t fall in love, and I didn’t get close to people. Not before, not now, and not ever. I was about to continue trying to convince myself that I had no interest in Lucky when the phone rang.

"Yo Beaumont, it’s Evan."

"How can I help you, Evan?" I tried not to sigh into the phone. Evan was the last guy I wanted to be talking to. He was a wannabe of the highest order, and I knew he only tried to contact me because he thought I would introduce him to my dad and get him some starring role in a new movie. I didn’t bother setting him straight. I wasn’t close to my dad, and even if I was, Evan was the last person I would try and get a role.

"Bro, what you up to tomorrow night?" he drawled, oblivious to the obvious dislike in my voice.

"Something life-related."

"Oh." He paused, obviously confused about my snarky remark. "Do you want to come to a party tomorrow?"

"Not really." I was about to hang up when he interrupted me quickly.

“There will be lots of hot girls, you should come, get out there a bit, maybe hook up.”

“I’m not interested in hooking….” I paused as I thought about his words. Maybe this was the solution to my problems. Maybe hooking up with someone else was the answer to getting Lucky out of my brain, and preferably someone that wasn’t connected to Noah’s case. Maybe that was the problem. All of the women I had been hanging out with recently were off-limits in my mind because I was using them to get certain information. It wasn’t as if I could have meaningless sex with them and expect to get answers. Not unless I wanted to pretend that I was interested in more than just the sex, which I wasn’t. I didn’t want to find myself in a fake relationship just to get answers. That wasn’t who I was. I wasn’t going to deliberately hurt someone’s feelings and make them think that I was looking for a relationship when I wasn’t. But I also didn’t want my every waking hour to be consumed by thoughts of Lucky anymore. “Sure, what time?” I spoke quickly, before I could change my mind.

“8 p.m., dude.”

“I’ll be there.” I got the party information from him and hung up. I was going to get laid. I’d choose some hot blonde and eradicate Lucky from my mind. By the end of the night, Lucky would be but a mere thought, and everything in my life would be back on track.

***

I knew as soon as I walked into the house that the party wasn’t happening. There was no music to dance to, no crowds of people to get lost in, and I was about to turn around and go back home when Evan saw me.

“Yo Beaumont, you made it.” He walked towards me looking as cool as ever.

“I thought you said this was going to be a party?”

“It is a party. Just low-key.”

“This is not a party.” I shook my head.

“Come dude, I want you to meet this girl Leeza.”

“Leeza?” I followed him up the stairs reluctantly, not really sure why I hadn’t left yet. But the name Leeza seemed so familiar to me, and I wasn’t sure why.

“Guys, Zane is here.” Evan opened a door, and we walked into the room. There were about four other guys, and three girls, and they all looked up at me eagerly. I was pretty sure they thought I was delivering dope or something, because I didn’t recognize any of them for them to be so happy that I arrived.

“Hi,” I nodded as I walked into the room. I was already disinterested and wondered if I should just walk out and go home.

“So Zane, you coming to Mike Vegara’s party next week?” Evan handed me a beer. “It’s going to be f**king awesome.”