Beneath This Man

Sam’s cheerful voice comes from the doorway and we both look up in unison.

I cough, looking anywhere and everywhere, except at Sam. ‘Hi.’ I wave a flappy hand in his direction. He’s a nightmare. I feel my face burning up as I glance at Kate in desperation, silently begging her to do something about the cheeky sod.

‘Samuel, put some clothes on.’ Kate scorns him on a small smile.

‘I’ve come to help.’ he whines.

I continue to direct my eyes all over Kate’s workshop to avoid him. Jesse was right, he is an exhibitionist. He’s completely naked, except for one of Kate’s miniscule Cath Kidston aprons, and as he walks past me, my eyes drift and I get a right eyeful of his tight, naked butt.

‘You’ve already put me way behind.’ Kate moans, slapping his naked rump with a spatula full of cake mixture.

‘I hope you’re going to dispose of that now!’ I laugh. She shrugs and starts licking the spatula on a smile. She’s enjoying my discomfort.

Sam turns to face me with the biggest grin on his cheeky face, clearly enjoying my embarrassment too. And then he bends slightly, shoving his arse in Kate’s face. ‘Now you’re going to have to lick it all off.’

I jump out of the tub chair in a complete fluster. ‘I’d better be going.’ I blurt, my voice high and squeaky. I don’t want to witness the impending clean-up operation of Sam’s caked bu**ocks.

‘See ya!’ Kate laughs as I make my escape.

‘Hey, how’s my buddy?’ Sam calls.

I don’t look back for fear of what I might see. ‘Fine!’ I shout, slamming the door behind me. Kate’s short, curt response to my enquiries about The Manor is making my head spin. I don’t want to even think what I’m thinking.

I drive myself to work. I would’ve just grabbed my files and jumped on the tube, but I plan on collecting my remaining belongings from Matt after work. That chore, I am not looking forward to. I’ve been putting it off all week in light of his telephone call to my parents. I’ve not spoke to him about it, and I don’t plan to either. What would be the point? I don’t want to get into a spitting match with him and in fact, I don’t ever want to see him again. Not after today, anyway.

I arrive at the office on time to a huge bunch of calla lilies lay across my desk. I sigh. How does he arrange flowers so quickly?

I find the card.

You’re a savage and a tease.

You drive me crazy,

I love you.

Jx

I drive him crazy? The man is delusional. I fire a quick text to him;

I know u do. Flowers r beautiful. Thank u for the ride…2 work. Ax

I settle at my desk and bring up my email and list of things to do, but I’m quickly distracted from my work when I remember that I’ve not taken my pill. I grab my bag from the floor and rummage through.

After a good few minutes of searching, I have my bag turned upside down on the desk and everything sprawled all over the place.

‘Shit shit shit!’ I curse. Please, not again.

‘Morning, flower.’ Patrick strolls into the office.

‘Morning,’ I don’t look up from my futile searching. I deserve a medal for being so bloody careless. ‘Did you have a good weekend?’ I ask, scrunching up a handful of loose receipts and chucking them in my wastepaper bin.

Patrick grunts a few times. ‘No, I bloody didn’t. Look!’

I drag my attention from the pile of handbag crap all over my desk to see what I’m supposed to be looking at. ‘What?’ I ask. He points to his head, so I get out of my chair and lean up on my tiptoes, but I can’t see anything. ‘Patrick, what?’

‘That, there, look!’ He bends slightly.

‘Patrick, what am I looking at?’

‘There, that ruddy great bald patch!’ he says, his voice annoyed.

I scan his mop of thick silver hair looking for a bald patch, but I’m damned if I can see one. ‘Patrick, there is no bald patch.’ I appease him.

‘Damn well would be if I didn’t take my vitamins.’ he grumbles. ‘Nice flowers.’

‘Oh yes. My brother.’ I blurt out quickly. I need to have a word with Jesse about this.

‘How lovely.’ He smiles, making his way to his office.

My phone starts dancing across my desk, alerting me of a text.

YOU are beautiful and I know you know. Cheeky! I miss you. Jx

He misses me. I melt all over my handbag contents. I miss him too, but I’m now dreading having to go back to Doctor Monroe for the third time. This is ridiculous.

With my phone in my hand, I decide I may as well get the one call I really don’t want to make out of the way. I dial Matt, and it rings twice before he answers.

‘Ava?’ He sounds pleased to hear from me. I want to smash his face in immediately.

‘Hi, I could do with picking those bits up.’ I get straight to the point. If I didn’t need my things, I wouldn’t call him at all. Just thinking of him makes my skin crawl; talking to him has me physically itching. I was with him for four years. How did this happen?

‘Of course.’ He’s too eager and it doesn’t sit well.

‘Can I swing by after work? Say, six-ish?’ I ask.

‘Sure, I look forward to it.’ he replies cheerfully.

I want to hiss down the phone at him, tell him exactly what I think of him, but I know he is probably expecting some sort of backlash from me. I’m not going to indulge him. What I do and who I do it with has nothing to do with him.

Why did you ring my parents, you worm?

‘Great, see you then.’ Why did I say that for? It’s not great at all. He may be looking forward to it, but I’m certainly not. Once I have the rest of my things, I won’t ever be seeing him again.