Beneath This Man

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ she presses.

‘Yes, fine.’ I try to smile. I’m struggling.

‘Man trouble?’ Her fair, precisely plucked eyebrow rises.

‘No.’ I shake my head. Oh God, she’s getting personal.

‘Ava, I know a woman in turmoil when I see one.’ She laughs. ‘Been there, done that.’

‘Honestly, Ruth. There is no man.’ I can’t believe I just said that. No man? There most certainly is a man, and he most certainly is causing me turmoil. But I need Kate for this line of conversation, not a client. Wine and Kate.

She gives me a knowing smile and stands. ‘They’re not worth the trouble.’

I return her smile, but only because I’m pleased that she appears to be leaving. ‘I’ll get your designs over soon, Ruth.’ I’m repeating again.

‘Can’t wait! We’ll talk soon…about drinks.’ She breezes out of the office, leaving me sat in the turmoil she knows I’m in.

I immediately email her. I don’t want her returning and offering more drinks. My head’s going to explode. I need Kate, and I need wine.

I don’t go to Kate’s, though. I leave the office and I’m pulled towards St Katherine Docks by the magnet that is The Lord of the Sex Manor. I said I wouldn’t leave him, and I need these mounting questions answered, like this mystery woman.

‘Evening, Ava.’

‘Hello, Clive. Can I speak to security, please?’

‘They are all off site at the moment.’ He diverts his attention to his computer, his way of halting this conversation from going any further – his way of dodging me.

‘Right.’ I sigh, leaving Clive and carrying on my way to the elevator. I board and lean back against the mirrored wall after I’ve punched in the code that Jesse still hasn’t got changed.

I let myself in with my pink key and head straight for the kitchen, kicking my shoes off and looking for wine that I know won’t be there before finding a vase to put my flowers in. I remember the bunch upstairs that I hastily dumped on the chest in favour of prepping myself to deliver one truth f**k, so I take the stairs tiredly and enter the master-suite to retrieve them.

Oh…dear.

My new diamante embellished vibrator is in a million pieces all over the far end of the bedroom floor and there’s a hole in the wall opposite the bed. The bedroom is vast, so he must have lobbed it with some force. I’m suddenly thinking that leaving before he got free was a decision well made.

I look across the room to the bed and see the handcuffs still dangling from the headboard, mental images of Jesse flying into a rage instantly starting to assault my brain. This man has issues – big, unreasonable, bloody issues…with control…with me.

I kneel and collect up all of the pieces, taking them to the bathroom and depositing them in the bin before I start running a bath. Picking up the calla lilies that are in desperate need of some water, I make my way back downstairs.

I get halfway down and hear the front door shut quietly, and I’m halted in my tracks as I watch Jesse come into view. He stops at the bottom of the stairs and looks up at me, his handsome face expressionless and his usually bright eyes a little glazed. He removes his suit jacket and reaches up, undoing his shirt buttons slowly as he watches me. His shirt gets removed and dropped to the floor to join his jacket, as does his shoes, socks, trousers and boxers. My eyes are pulled to the red marks around his wrists when he removes his Rolex. He throws it on top of his pile of clothes. I’m never handcuffing him again.

‘You’re not laying a finger on me until you tell me who that woman was.’ This might take all of strength, especially if he starts the countdown or hits me with a Jesse style f**k, but I’m not backing down here.

‘I don’t know.’ His face is completely expressionless.

‘So you’ve not asked Clive to stop me from looking at the CCTV?’

He almost smiles, but he must know because Clive would most certainly have mentioned me prying. ‘My beautiful girl is ruthless.’

‘My God is evasive.’ I retort quietly.

‘Ava, if I didn’t need you all over me right now, I’d be challenging you.’

‘But you do so you’ll tell me.’

‘I slept with her.’

I’m not looking surprised because I had already figured that much out. ‘So why was she here?’

‘Because she heard I was missing.’ He doesn’t hesitate.

‘That’s it. She was worried?’

He shrugs. ‘Yes. That’s it. Now I get you all over me.’

Oh. Okay. What do I say? I asked, he told. ‘Why didn’t you just tell me this before?’

He shrugs. ‘Because it was no big deal until you made it one.’

He starts up the stairs slowly, completely naked and stunningly spectacular, and scoops me up without stopping, prompting me to drop the flowers and wrap myself around his body. ‘You made it a big deal by evading my questions.’

He doesn’t reply. I also want to rip strips off him for trampling my day. I want to stamp and scream in a temper, but I can’t seem to find the strength or the inclination to do it. He talked, and now I just want him all over me. My mind is fuzzy, but my body is fizzing…for him.

He places me on my feet and starts slowly undressing me, watching his hands work over my clothes as I stand quietly and let him do his thing. Why is he so forlorn? It’s me who has endured his challenging ways all day. He’s like a lucky bag of emotions and moods. I would have put my money on a retribution f**k after my performance this morning, but instead, I’m confronted with gentle, soft Jesse. I don’t mind. I need soft and loving right now.