Beneath This Man

‘Well, I’ve only got nine years left, so I’d better get my fill.’ Kate says sardonically.

My jaw drops. I can’t believe she has just openly said that. My eyes are wide, my mouth gaping. It’s obvious I’m shocked. I’m sat around a table in a normal bar, in normal London, with normal people and they’re all talking about The Manor likes it’s a perfectly regular set-up. No, not normal people. How can they be? These three men have all dabbled and now Kate has been dragged to the dark side too. I need more wine. What the f**k is going on?

‘It hits us women worse than you lot.’ Kate continues, waving her wine glass in the general direction of the men. I catch Sam winking at her, which only confirms for sure that she’s definitely had some action. I want to drag her out of the bar and demand she explains herself. I’m not sure this is a good thing, even though Kate insists it’s just fun. I can see she is playing this down.

‘Is that what happened to you, Jesse?’ I ask coolly, taking a sip of my water.

His hand shifts up my thigh slightly, and I clench my legs shut. ‘No.’ He turns to me. ‘Do you think I’m lacking in the body department?’ He arches an expectant eyebrow at me.

What a stupid question if ever there was one. ‘You know I don’t.’

He grins. ‘So, I’m still your God?’

I flush and scowl at him at the same time. ‘You’re an arrogant God.’ I mutter.

He leans in and wraps his palm around my neck, dragging me towards him and hitting me with a completely over-the-top kiss. Despite my surroundings, I let him take me. As usual, my mind goes blank and nothing else exists, except for Jesse and his power over my entire being. Swallowed, swamped, taken…

When he finally releases me, I look at the others, suddenly hugely embarrassed at his blatant display of affection. There is a chorus of mushy vocals and one vomiting gesture. It’s Jesse. I look at him and he grins, then pulls me into his arms.

‘Seriously, you guys.’ Kate scorns. ‘Here’s the food, so enough with the sloppy shit.’

Sam reaches over and plants a kiss on her cheek. ‘Feeling left out?’

She bats him away as the waiter places our lunch on the table. ‘No, I’m not!’

Everyone tucks in, including Jesse, and we chat and laugh between eating. It doesn’t escape my notice that Sam and Drew often flick fond looks over to mine and Jesse’s side of the table.

My mind starts drifting to Jesse’s reaction to Drew’s comment. His suggestion that it’s a slippery slope after your mid-thirties is a bit over-the-top. Jesse’s physique is melt worthy. I’m suddenly attacked by the very unwelcome thought that is Jesse and dabbling. What if he’s given up on the dabbling and is making do with me. He’s retired, so to speak. Well, that just makes me feel shitty. I feel his hand stroking over my thigh as he picks at his sandwich with his damaged hand. It’s looking a lot better, all the bruising nearly gone, but the red welts on his wrists are still there. They seem to be screaming at me; look.

My eyes snap to Jesse’s when he nudges my knee with his. He gives me a questioning look, obviously noticing my line of sight and probably my reverie. I’m sure he can tap into my thoughts. I shake my head and smile, but I doubt that satisfies his worry at my daydream.

‘I better get back to work.’ I say regretfully. It’s been nice being relatively normal at lunch – as normal as it can be when you’re eating with the owner of a super plush sex haven and two of its members.

‘I’m coming.’ Jesse chucks the remaining half of his BLT down on his plate and gets up from his chair.

‘It’s a two minute walk around the corner.’ I say tiredly. I halt any further objections when he glares at me, so instead of arguing with him, I make my way around the table and kiss them all goodbye, shoving Kate some money for mine and Jesse’s lunch.

She trusts it back in my hand. ‘Jesse already settled the bill.’

He did? I look at Jesse, but he is too busy shaking hands with the boys’ to notice my reproachful stare. He collects me and starts leading me out of the bar.

‘Hey!’ Kate shouts to my back. ‘Saturday night, girly drinks?’

I stop and spin round to face her, flashing a what-do-you-think-you’re-playing-at look. She doesn’t seem to notice my reaction. No, she is too busy watching for Jesse’s reaction to her request. I turn to look up at him. He’s shifting uncomfortably. Oh Kate! Fancy suggesting something so stupid. I see Sam and Drew both watching intently too, waiting for Jesse’s response.

‘Maybe next week.’ I say as confidently as I can.

‘You can go.’ Jesse says from behind me.

I can go? What does he mean, I can go? ‘No, we have The Manor anniversary tomorrow. I’ll be knackered.’ I affirm. I do want to go, but I know he’ll prohibit alcohol, the bloody control freak. I don’t get legless all of the time, and the last time I did, it was his fault. I’ve got so much to dump on Kate as well. Both of us have, by the sounds of things. This little lunch has only clipped the corners.

‘Hey, he said it’s cool.’ Kate complains.

‘I’ll speak to you later.’ I say dismissively, hoping she will take the bloody hint and shut her gob.

‘Oh, yes, of course,’ She winks. ‘later.’

I want to throw my bag at her, but then I feel Jesse tug me slightly, preventing me from following through on my intention. Instead, I toss another dirty look at her before turning and letting Jesse lead me out of the bar.