Big Girls Don’t Cry (Dundee, Idaho #6)(25)
Author: Brenda Novak

CHAPTER EIGHT

THE SILENCE FELT ODD, unnatural as Reenie rolled over in bed. She was still half asleep, and yet she knew something was wrong. Something terrible. The wisp of a memory threatened to surface. She attempted to suppress it but heard Isaac Russell murmuring those hateful words in her ear again and was instantly overwhelmed with grief.

For the first time in her life, she wasn’t sure she could handle what lay ahead.

Hushed voices coming from the kitchen reached her ears. Her girls. Why were they whispering? What about school? She had to get up. She felt as though she’d been run over by a bus. But she had a responsibility to care for her children.

She tried to shove herself into a sitting position, only to fall back, too weak and exhausted to move. “This can’t be happening,” she muttered, and tried again. On her second attempt, she managed to sit up and scoot to the edge of the bed, where she blinked against the light filtering through the slats of her blinds. Someone had turned the clock away from her. Who?

As if in answer, she heard a man’s voice mingling with her children’s. It was Gabe. Of course. Her brother had come over right after Isaac Russell had left.

The other details about last night—the way Keith had sounded on the phone, the palpable guilt in his reaction—started coming back to her in wave upon wave of sickening mental images and sounds. No use resisting. Maybe the truth was too painful to fully embrace, but she couldn’t escape it. She already knew the terrible secret Isaac had brought to her door was true. Keith had been cheating on her for years. He had another wife, other children… a family that he went to each time he left her.

Bile rose in her throat. She choked it back while staring at her bare toes. Life-shattering catastrophes didn’t happen to her. Her poor brother had lost the use of his legs. Her father had rocked their family with a twenty-four-year-old secret. But she’d always been able to console herself by searching for the bright side. At least Gabe was still alive. At least her father hadn’t abandoned them as he could’ve done.

Where was the bright side in this? She’d been living a lie. And now it was all clear. Why she’d sensed a growing detachment in her husband. Why Keith had fought her so hard when she’d begged him to quit his job. Why he never called when he was away and only responded to urgent messages.

She remembered Isaac’s questions in the restaurant. How do you know how much he makes?…Because he tells me…Do you file your taxes separately?

She dropped her aching head into her hands. She’d made it easy for her husband to deceive her. She’d been too gullible, too trusting.

But where was Keith’s conscience? How could he lie to her so unashamedly? Betray her so completely? Betray their children? And when, exactly, had it all started?

There was so much she didn’t know. The news had hit her hard, and she hadn’t pressed Isaac for any of the nasty details. Now, question upon question whirled through her mind, along with confusion and doubt and a terrible, seething rage.

A click told her someone had just opened the door. She glanced over her shoulder to see Gabe peek into the room.

“I’m up,” she said, wondering how she could sound so normal.

Wearing a sweater and a pair of faded jeans, he rolled a few inches into the room. With his thick black hair, vivid blue eyes and muscular build, he was as strong and handsome as ever. She’d idolized him as a child, was still incredibly proud of him.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

She raked her fingers through her tousled hair. Like hell. How would anyone feel? “Fine,” she said. “I need to get up, feed the girls.”

“Don’t worry about the girls. They’ve eaten. Hannah just left to take them to school.”

Thank God for her brother and sister-in-law. Gabe and Hannah had their own children, but maybe Kenny, who was seventeen, had helped out with Brent, his nine-year-old brother. Reenie was grateful they had stepped in for her. She couldn’t remember ever needing that kind of help before. She was generally highly functional, efficient. Wouldn’t folks be surprised to see that she couldn’t put one foot in front of the other today?

“What’d you give me last night?” she asked.

He rolled a little closer, concern a dark shadow on his rugged face. “You wouldn’t take any sleeping pills.”

“So you put them in the tea you brought me, right?”

When he didn’t respond, she grimaced. “My mouth’s so dry I can hardly swallow.”

“I wanted to make sure you’d sleep,” he said. “I thought some rest would help you…cope.”

“Cope,” she echoed, chuckling mirthlessly. “I guess my life isn’t what it seemed, huh?”

“Keith isn’t what he seemed. That doesn’t change anything else.”

Gabe was wrong. She’d built her life on the foundation of her marriage. She’d built her children’s lives on the same thing. Where did she go from here? “So what do you think?” she asked.

“About what?”

“My sham of a marriage.”

“I don’t want to tell you what I think.”

“Why not?”

“It might make you defensive of Keith.”

She grimaced. “I doubt that.”

“He called a few minutes ago.”

“What’d he say?”

Gabe shifted in his chair. “He’s at the airport in Boise, on his way home. He begged me to reserve judgment until he gets here.”

“Can you do that?”

“I’ll listen to what he has to say, but…”

She waited for the rest. His chest lifted in a deep breath before he continued, “It won’t make any difference. Either this other woman exists, or she doesn’t.”

Exactly. And Reenie already knew she existed. She knew it deep in her bones. “Do you think I’ll ever be able to forgive him, Gabe?”

He hesitated, as if choosing his words carefully. “You might be able to forgive him, but trust is another issue entirely. And there’ll always be this…other family.”

She stared at the tiny slices of light at the edge of her blinds. Odd how the simple things she’d never paid much attention to before suddenly seemed so exaggerated.

“Do you want me to tell him to pack his bags?” Gabe asked at last.

Yesterday she thought she and Keith would spend the rest of their lives together.

“Do you know how to get hold of Isaac Russell?” she asked, not answering his question.