Big Girls Don’t Cry (Dundee, Idaho #6)(29)
Author: Brenda Novak

He didn’t bother to wipe the tears that fell down his cheeks. Sliding off the edge of his chair, he went down on his knees and took hold of her limp hand. “You’re just sitting there, staring at me,” he said. “Where’s the passionate woman I love?”

“She’s lost,” Reenie said simply. She’d already cried so long and hard, the anger had drained right out of her. In its place was a dull acceptance, like what she’d experienced when little Isabella had broken the handblown vase Reenie’s parents had bought her when she’d traveled to Venice with them before her marriage. Of course, this situation was far worse, but underlying her sadness was the same unavoidable truth—tears were useless because there wasn’t any way to bring the vase back. Just as there wasn’t any way to recover what she and Keith had lost.

“Maybe you should go now,” Gabe suggested, speaking for the first time since Keith had begun his profuse and rambling apology.

Keith put up a hand. “Wait, Gabe, please? I know you think you could never make the same mistake, but…I—I’m only human. Sometimes people do…stupid things, really stupid things. I fell. That’s all. Then I didn’t know how to get out of the mess I’d created. Liz…”

“Liz,” Reenie echoed, but it wasn’t a question, it was a statement. “Liz,” she repeated again, mulling over the casual sound of the other woman’s name on her husband’s lips—a name she’d never heard from him until now. Who was this woman? What was she feeling? And what about her children?

“Her name’s Elizabeth,” Keith said, his eyebrows drawn as though he was struggling to understand what her response might indicate. “Anyway, she…she got pregnant, Reenie. It was an accident. But once there was a baby, I felt cornered. How could I tell Liz about you, then?”

Imagining Keith making love with another woman—some stewardess he’d met while flying off on one of his many business trips—and conceiving a child with her somehow pierced through the strange numbness that had protected Reenie since his arrival. How long would he have let his affair—his double life—go on? Indefinitely? Why hadn’t he loved her enough to admit his mistake, so they could somehow deal with it? Instead, he’d waited until Isaac had caught him. And now that he was compelled to admit the truth, he expected her to forgive him?

Nausea roiled in her stomach. Rocking forward, she covered her mouth so she wouldn’t be sick. “I’ve heard enough,” she said weakly.

Gabe immediately wheeled toward them. “You need to leave.”

“No!” Keith said, his eyes wide, pleading. “I—I can’t. I already quit my job. Called them up first thing when I got into Boise this morning. I’m serious about staying put. I won’t ever contact Liz again. Anything Reenie wants to do, we’ll do. I’ll prove that I’m a humbled man, that I never meant for any of this to happen. I’ll be so good, she’ll have to forgive me eventually. You’ll see.”

The muscles in Gabe’s arms stood out beneath his T-shirt as he shoved himself even closer. Her brother was hurt and disappointed, too, Reenie realized. He’d cared about Keith, welcomed him into the family without reservation.

Reenie wished the anger she’d experienced at first would come to her rescue. She thought it might stave off the nausea. Keith was right—she typically vented her feelings. But what she’d learned last night had changed her. She couldn’t seem to overcome the blow; she’d never felt like this before.

“Get an apartment or go stay with your parents for a while,” Gabe said. “What you’re trying to do—” he shook his head and glanced at Reenie “—it’s too soon.”

“Right. Too soon,” Keith echoed, making an attempt to be accommodating. “So maybe in a day or two we could talk again?” he asked hopefully.

“Maybe,” Gabe said. But Reenie was fairly certain she wouldn’t want to see her husband in a few days. Or a month. Or even a year.

Keith climbed to his feet, his head hanging so low he looked almost nothing like the proud, handsome man she’d married. Now he’d agree to almost anything to be on good terms with her again. But what had happened was like the broken vase. Isabella hadn’t meant to destroy it. She simply couldn’t overcome her desire to handle something she’d been told she couldn’t touch.

Keith had done the same thing, hadn’t he? Only on a much bigger scale. He hadn’t acted with the desire to hurt her or anyone else. She believed that much. He’d just been too selfish, vain, weak or stupid to avoid it. And once he’d gotten involved with this “Liz,” his better character traits—his strong sense of responsibility, especially to children—made it impossible for him to escape his own lies.

“What are we going to tell the girls?” he asked.

Reenie finally felt a twinge of sympathy for him. She hated what he’d done to her, guessed the anger she’d felt earlier would reassert itself at some point. But right now, he seemed so pathetic. He’d hurt himself as much as he’d hurt her. “We’ll tell them…” Her mind raced through the various scenarios she’d imagined. “We’ll tell them the truth,” she said at last.

He hesitated. “Really?”

She nodded.

Fresh fear entered his eyes. “About Liz?”

“No. If we can help it, I don’t want them to know how badly you let us down.”

He blanched at the barb but seemed relieved overall. “Then what?”

“We’ll say you made a mistake you didn’t mean to make and—” she lifted her eyes to his “—and broke my favorite vase.”

“What?” He glanced at Gabe in confusion.

“She needs time,” Gabe said.

They didn’t understand. But deep down Reenie knew. The relationship she’d had with Keith was lost forever. Like the broken vase, her marriage was beyond repair.

“I STILL SAY THIS IS CRAZY.” Isaac couldn’t believe he was helping his sister pack and load her belongings into a U-Haul, couldn’t believe he’d soon be driving her and her children nine hundred and forty-two miles to Idaho, even though he’d already contacted a real-estate agent there and rented a house. It had been two weeks since Keith had left, but Liz hadn’t wavered from her course. She’d quit her job and, if anything, become more determined.