Blinding Trust (Mitchell Family #7)(18)
Author: Jennifer Foor

I thought about the doctor and how many vaginas that he must look at in a single day. I didn’t know what kind of person would want that job. Sure, some women were probably attractive, but most were older and had given birth. I don’t know about them, but my vagina never looked how it did before I had kids. Colt never complained, but I was certain it had changed.

My doctor was in his forties. He was a nice man who always talked about family and hobbies while doing the exams. I appreciated that he talked about his wife and kids, but at the same time, he was still looking deep into my vagina.

Maybe I had so much on my mind that focusing on one thing was the way I was trying to cope. Either way, when he stepped into the room and stuck his cold hands under the sheet to feel my br**sts, I immediately felt uncomfortable.

It didn’t help that I’d just read this erotic thriller about a doctor that seduced his patients. My mind was making me think crazy things and all I wanted to do was get dressed and get out of there.

At first, I thought it was my imagination that he was spending way too much time massaging my left breast. His eyes were focused on the wall and it didn’t seem to be turning him on at all. “Savanna, I’m going to send you to the diagnostic center to get a mammogram. I’m feeling something out of the ordinary and I just want to check it to be on the safe side.”

“I’m not even old enough. Is it really necessary?”

“I don’t think it’s anything you have to worry about, but let’s get a better look at it.”

“Should I be worried?” I didn’t want anything to be wrong.

“No. I don’t think it’s anything. I just want to be sure.”

After documenting his findings in his computer, he shut the laptop. “The front desk will give you the paperwork to have the test done. If you can, try and schedule it when you leave today. It usually takes a couple of weeks to get an appointment.”

I was so shaken up that I almost forgot to pick up the paperwork at the front desk. I knew my doctor said not to worry, but it was hard not to. I sat in the SUV and felt around for the whatever it was he felt. When I couldn’t feel anything out of the ordinary, it made me feel a little better. I was sure it was going to turn out to be nothing. My family had no history of breast lumps or cancer.

I decided not to tell Colt or my mother about the mammogram. They were both so worried about the Noah situation that I didn’t want to concern them. Colt wouldn’t notice that it was on my mind, since we were already dealing with other problems. Plus, I didn’t want to worry the family if it wasn’t necessary. They would all band together and make the situation ten times worse than it was. Ty and Conner may even ask to do their own examination, which in turn would cause Colt to have a heart attack. Joke or no joke, he hated their crude sense of humor.

I got home a little after one, since I had to go to the grocery store. Since I’d left Colt a note telling him where I was going to be, I didn’t seem surprised when he hadn’t called to check on me.

As I started carrying the heavy bags in the front door, I saw him sleeping on the couch, with ESPN blaring. The slam of the metal door caused him to sit up straight. He jumped up and grabbed the bags out of my hands. “Is there any more?”

“Yeah, it’s in the back.”

We walked into the kitchen, where Colt left me to go get the rest of the groceries. While starting to put them away, I looked down at our large kitchen table and thought about our beautiful family. As much as I didn’t want to, I started to cry. I felt like out of nowhere everything was crumbling around me. We’d been such a perfect family, never taking one another for granted. Noah had never given me lip or a hard time. My girls were the cutest little things. I suddenly became overwhelmed thinking about us being broken.

Colt’s strong arms wrapped around my waist as I turned to face him. He held me close, not saying anything at first. After he let me get it out, he kissed the top of my head. “You know I hate when you hurt, Savanna. I wish I could make things easier for you.”

“I know. I shouldn’t be so upset about it. I just feel like I’m losing him and I hate it. He just doesn’t understand how much he means to me. The thought of losing him is just killing me inside.” It wasn’t just Noah. It was everything.

Colt kept holding me and kissing me on the top of my head. I knew he was thinking of what to say, but the words just wouldn’t come to him. He couldn’t understand what I was going through, even the parts that he knew about. Noah was always going to be his flesh and blood. “I hate to say this, darlin’, but maybe you need to talk to Ty. If anyone knows what you’re feelin’ it’s him.”

I was utterly shocked that he would suggest that. Colt and Ty were close, but when it came to me, Colt always kept his guard up. He wasn’t jealous of our friendship, it was more like he just was aware of our history. “He will just say I’m being a baby and to get over it. You know how he is.”

“Actually, when it comes to you, I’d think he’d be pretty nice about it. He cares about you and you obviously need someone you can talk to, especially if I have to leave town. It would put my mind at ease if I knew that you had someone that understood your side of it all.”

“I appreciate that, Colt. I know you don’t like admitting that.”

“It’s water under the bridge, Savanna. You’re my wife and he is our cousin. If you can’t turn to your family then something is wrong.” Colt grabbed the rest of the groceries and started loading them up in the pantry. For just a second, I forgot about everything I was feeling and thought about being caught with him that Thanksgiving a while back. It was those moments in my life that I cherished. I could have done without the getting caught part, but the moment was unforgettable.

“You do know that after all these years, you have nothing to worry about. My whole world revolves around you and our children. I’d never stray from that.”

He cocked an eyebrow and brushed the hair out of my face as he got close. “I never said you would.”

He leaned in and kissed me, almost making me weak in the knees. His lips were powerful persuasion for me to forget what was going on. Whenever my last breath on earth was going to be, I wanted it be in this man’s arms.

I pulled away slowly. “The kids are going to be home shortly.”

He leaned in and kissed me again. “Noah will hold their hands and start walkin’. I want you, Savanna.”