Blinding Trust (Mitchell Family #7)(20)
Author: Jennifer Foor

We could see his team already warming up. “Look, Noah, it’s important to make things right with your mother. I could never regret Krista havin’ you, but you need to know that we were never goin’ to stay together. We were too different. Savanna never took Krista’s place. I never even knew I had a son because she kept it from me. I get that this is hard for you and I know we need to go through this, but shutting out Savanna, who has been your only mother for the past ten plus years, just isn’t a way to solve things. She’s all you got kid.”

I heard him start to sniffle and looked over to see him crying. It took me back to a time when I said that I hated my father. I couldn’t remember why I’d said it, but I remember my mother telling me that I would never get another one.

“I’m sorry, Dad.”

“Tell it to your mother when you see her. Go on and get out there before you have to do extra laps.” I watched him hop out of the car and grab his gear, but I didn’t follow him. Savanna was out of town and all I could hope was that when she returned things were going to be resolved between her and Noah.

After the practice and the birthday party, we grabbed a pizza and went home. When Addy wasn’t around, Christian liked to act like she was one of us guys. The last time Savanna had left her with us, she’d tried to pee standing up and made a mess all over the bathroom. To make matters worse, I learned that Bella had done the same thing.

To imagine two little girls in our family wanting to be boys was just wrong in so many ways.

Even over the phone I could tell my wife thought it was funny. It was so good to hear her laugh. She was going through Hell and needed time to heal. Some people could let things go and move on. For Savanna, it took a while longer.

Since we had the whole day Sunday, I decided to put the kids to work. We started cleaning the house and ended up in the garage. I’d straightened it up before, but after years, I’d collected too much junk. Shelves full of old memories covered a whole wall. My goal was to get half of the stuff thrown away. I was tired of storing all of our Christmas decorations in the attic and shed because they wouldn’t fit in the garage. Savanna gave me a fit about it.

I started on the top shelf and handed each kid a box and then grabbed one for myself. We each sat down on the concrete floor and started looking through it. Noah had a box full of my trophies. He pulled each one out and read what sport it was for.

Christian had gotten a box that had some old toys from my mother. Honestly, I’d known that’s what it had in it. I just wanted her to feel like she was helping. In no time at all, she started playing with some old GI Joe figures.

My box was from my college years. It was full of pictures of me and my ex that we never mention. She’d cheated on me with my best friend and had a kid by him. She was my first love and my first heart break. It was devastating to me and for the longest time, I truly believed that I never wanted to feel that way again.

Krista had just become someone to fill the void of being lonely. I knew I didn’t love her and I think she knew it too. Still, we stayed together for a while anyway. Her and her brother needed someone to look after them, and at the time, it gave me something to do.

Krista only stuck around until she couldn’t deal with me anymore. I wasn’t forthcoming and I had no intentions of ever being serious with her. It’s a shame that I didn’t know she was pregnant. Even though I knew we weren’t going to work out, I would have taken care of her and little Noah.

She didn’t have a right to keep that from me. I don’t care what her reasons were.

I sat there looking through some old pictures, but my mind was on the day I arrived in North Carolina and got my first glimpse at a very grown up Savanna. I wanted to resent her, but from that very first day, I think I knew she was special.

“Daddy, do you have clothes for this doll?” Christian held up a naked GI Joe. Thank God Mattel or whoever made the damn things put plastic underwear on them.

“Sweetie, boys don’t change clothes on their dolls. Joe was a soldier. He protected us.”

“Why? What if he gets dirty?” She looked so confused.

Since he was the same size as her Barbie’s, I just decided to appease her. “I bet he can fit into Ken’s clothes. Why don’t you go in the playroom and see?”

She jumped up and ran toward the kitchen door. “Okay!”

Noah laughed and shook his head once she was gone. “Don’t laugh at your sister, or I will tell her how you used to love playing Barbie’s with Bella.”

“Did not!”

“Did too! Now, let’s put the box of trophies in the throw away pile.”

He picked up the box, but sat it back down again. “Can I have them?”

There was at least twenty trophies in total and probably another box somewhere else. “It’s too many, Noah. Your mother wants me to clean out the garage, not put everything somewhere else in the house.”

“Can I have a few to keep? How about just your favorite ones?”

I had to laugh at him for wanting my old junk. I got that he wanted to be like me, but it was just surreal to be someone’s idol. Still, in that very moment, I felt blessed to have him look up to me and not his rockstar uncle. It could all change after our visit, but for now, he was my little protégé.

I scooted over next to Noah and grabbed a couple trophies out of the plastic box. The first few were from college, but as I dug down, I got to the ones from when I played little league. My first championship trophy came when I was in first grade. I located the trophy with the big baseball at the top. “This was my first little league championship win. I pitched the last three innings, and it was a big deal back then because it was our first year out of coach pitch. I struck out six players that game. I remember my dad making it to the game. He was so darn proud of me that he took the whole team out for ice cream afterwards.”

Noah had a smile on his face that changed as quick as it came. “Do you miss your dad?”

“I miss him every day. I know he’s up in heaven lookin’ down at us. Sometimes, I think he keeps us safe.”

“Do you think Krista, my mom, is watchin’ over me?”

I rubbed his head. “Buddy, I know she is.”

“Do you think she’s mad at me, too?” He looked bent out of shape over it.

“I think that she wants you to be happy and loved, which you are.” Every once in a while Noah would have these type of conversations with me. The older he got, the less they happened, but I never turned away from his questions. I knew it was important for him to always be ‘in the know’ about his mother.