Blinding Trust (Mitchell Family #7)(30)
Author: Jennifer Foor

The front desk lady must have sensed my eagerness. She went in the back and had the doctor come out to greet me. He opened the door for me to enter into the back. “Savanna. You’re early.”

I felt embarrassed. Didn’t anyone else feel nervous like I did? “Is that a problem?”

“Of course not. We can meet before the first appointment arrives. Come in and sit down.” He walked out of his office and came back in with my chart. Once he sat down in front of me, he opened up the large envelope that contained my mammogram results. While he pointed to a certain area with his pen, he looked up at me. “This is the lump that I felt during your examination. I was thinking that it was going to be just a pocket of collected tissue. The mammogram shows that it is in fact a mass. It isn’t very big, but any mass can be a concern. I’d like to get you in to have it biopsied this week.”

My mouth just dropped. I got that he was a professional and he did these sorts of things all day, but he did it without emotion. “So, how serious is it? Should I be worried, because I have to tell you, I am scared to death.”

He fidgeted with his pen. Maybe it was how he separated himself from his patient’s emotional breakdowns. “I can tell you it’s nothing, but right now, we just don’t know. It’s located in a difficult area of the breast and until we get in there and can test it properly, we just don’t know what we are dealing with.”

“Is it too soon to talk about outcomes? Maybe I am jumping the gun, but if it’s…if it’s cancer, what are my options?”

He held both hands up and lifted his brows. “We don’t want to jump the gun here, Savanna. This could be just a growth that won’t put you in any danger. Talking about options before we know anything will only make you worry more. Thousands of women get biopsies and half of them turn out to be nothing.”

I stared down at my shaking hands. “So how do we find out?” My eyes were starting to water. I got that his job was to be informative and he was used to giving people bad news, but it didn’t make it any easier for me. I was going through this without my husband and dealing with a step-son that may or may not even care if I lived or died.

“I can see if I can get you in to see the oncologist this week. He may just go ahead and do the biopsy without a first appointment. Did you want me to go ahead with that?”

I was too shaken up to answer, so I just nodded and put my head down.

The doctor got up and walked out of the office for a second. I pulled my knees into my chest and the tears started to fall down my face. I thought about my family, in fact, it was all I could think about.

What would happen if I died?

How hard would it be for them to get by without me?

How long would I have to live?

Would they be scared if I lost my hair?

I thought about my girls growing up without a mother.

I was overwhelmed with hopeless fear.

The doctor came back into the office to find me an emotional wreck. He sat down and cleared his throat. “Savanna, I realize this is scary. You aren’t alone. Take it day by day until we figure out what’s going on.” He wrote something down in his laptop. “They are going to squeeze you in on Thursday. Can you be there at seven in the morning?”

It was early, but nothing that I wasn’t used to. “Yes.”

“When you walk out stop by the front desk. Kay will give you paperwork that their office faxed over to us. Just take that with you. They’re located in the building behind this one. He knows that I want a rush on the labs. I can’t guarantee that we will have them before the weekend. It usually takes seven days, so I imagine four is a rushed order. If you don’t hear anything before Wednesday next week, just give us a call.”

“Sounds good,” I sniffled through my words.

“Try to not get yourself too upset until we have the next results. This could still be nothing to worry about.”

We said our goodbyes and I grabbed the paperwork, while still crying.

Once I got to the car is when my bawling became uncontrolled. I was petrified. Everyone thinks that it can’t happen to them. The truth is, it could happen to any of us.

I needed to call Colt, but he was with Noah, who would never forgive me if I ruined their trip. Colt would want to come home and be with me through all of this.

I had to do it alone.

I don’t remember dialing the number, but Miranda’s name filled my screen.

The voice on the other line was not the person I wanted to talk to.

Cocksucker’s Anonymous, how may I direct your call?

Ty, can I talk to Miranda?

Are you crying?

No!

Stop lying. I can hear it in your voice.

Is she there or not?

She left her phone home. Stop changing the subject. Did Colt hook up with a groupie? He did, didn’t he?”

No! I have to go.

I hung up the phone before he could say anything else. The last thing I needed was Ty’s two cents.

The phone rang again, but I hit the silent button. By the time I got a mile down the road, he’d rang my phone constantly.

What?

Do you really think that I’m just going to be okay with you hanging up on me when clearly you need to talk to someone?

You are the last person on the earth that I can talk to this about.

You got warts?

I hung up on him again.

He called my phone non-stop the entire ride home. The worst part was that once I got driving, my Bluetooth connected to my SUV and it rang louder than a regular phone. At least I could hit ignore from my steering wheel.

When I pulled down our long dirt driveway, he was still calling. I’d realized that his shenanigans had actually forced me to stop crying, since I was so annoyed.

I picked up the phone one last time to tell him where he could stick it.

If you don’t stop calling me..

How long have we known each other?

Since we were kids, why?

Talk to me, Van. I’ll listen, I promise.

I can’t talk about this, Ty. It’s personal.

I know you. What gives? What could be that bad that you don’t want anyone to know? Are you having an affair?

No! Oh my God, you would think that!

Are you pregnant?

I wish it was something like that, Ty.

Is it your health?

I shouldn’t have even called Miranda. I don’t want the family knowing this. Please just forget I called. Don’t tell your wife, Ty. It’s best if I keep this to myself.

If you hang up on me, I’m driving out there. You’re making me worry, now. Please, Van, just tell me you’re going to be alright?