Blissful Surrender (Bliss #3)(32)
Author: B.J. Harvey

Nothing seemed off about that night, even when I pushed her back onto her bed and stripped her clothing off, taking my time, binding her legs to the bed so that she was spread wide open for me. I made her scream my name until her voice was hoarse and cracking. And when I finally released her straining legs, she immediately wrapped them around my back and arched into me, lifting her br**sts closer to my mouth as I rode out my climax.

We showered together and washed each other thoroughly before I fell asleep with her sleeping soundly in my arms like we had done so many times before. Had I known it would be the last time, I would have stayed awake, I would have made love to her one more time, made sure I left her with a lasting memory of us, one she couldn’t have escaped from.

When I woke up, the bed was empty beside me. I looked around and saw Sam sitting on Helen’s bed across the room from me.

“Beautiful, I like it better when I can feel you, not just see you.”

She smiled softly, but her eyes said something else, something different. There were pain and heartache there, I just didn’t understand it until she opened her mouth and said the words I never thought I’d hear from her. “I don’t think is going to work, Sean.” I watched in shock as she swallowed hard. “I think we’re too different. Your need for control is too much for me. It’s better to end it now before one of us gets hurt. I’m losing myself, my identity. College is such a short time in our lives, and I need to focus on graduating and immersing myself in the college experience. Being in a serious relationship doesn’t help me do that.”

I stared at her in shock. Standing up, I pulled my boxers and jeans up, then threw on my discarded shirt from the floor before stuffing my wallet in my pocket and walking toward her. “Sammy, I don’t know where the hell this is coming from, but maybe you need some time to think. Seeing your mom has made you see things that simply aren’t there …”

I reached out my hand to her, wanting to pull her up into my arms, but she looked up at me warily before standing of her own volition and walking around me, not even wanting to touch me. I can tell you, I felt that square in my chest.

“Fuck, Sammy. What the hell do you think you’re trying to do? What happened between last night and this morning? I don’t remember you complaining when you were sleeping in my arms. So why have you woken up sounding like a Debra Richards replica with an axe to grind against the male race?” I knew I should not have gotten angry, but I was confused as f**k and she was not explaining where all of it was coming from. She was saying things that could’ve been read straight out of her mother’s hard ass playbook.

Sighing loudly, she walked to the door, pausing with her fist tightening around the handle. “It’s for the best, Sean. I’m weaker when I’m with you. You’re getting ready to graduate. I’ve got my final year to finish. I think this is what … we need.” The last few words were shaky at best. I knew that this was her mother’s doing, but there was no reasoning with Sammy when she was this resolute about something.

Walking to the now open door, I stopped right in front of her, cupping her cheeks in both of my hands and lifting her face to mine. “I’m not giving up, Sammy. I don’t understand this, but I know you. I know us. I know that there is more to us than just a college romance. You just need time. I love you, don’t ever forget that.” I brushed my lips gently against hers once, then again, and when I felt her body soften against mine, I slowly swept my tongue through her parted lips, making sure she felt my words deep inside, wanting her to feel everything I was trying to say in that one last kiss.

When I ended the kiss and walked away from her, I looked back once to see the door shutting quickly and my heart stuttered. But it wasn’t until I walked into my house to find Ryan crying on the floor next to my grandfather’s dead body that I knew what it was like to lose almost everything important in my life.

And when I went back to Samantha’s dorm room to find her, to fight for her, at the time I needed her the most, she was gone.

Sam

Helen: Samantha Grace Richards, where the hell did you disappear to last night? Word is Tanner is pissed off and you were last seen going upstairs at Throb.

Me: Don’t you full name me! I’m fine, more than fine. I’m with Sean …

Helen: OMG

A few minutes pass and then my phone vibrates again.

Rico: Be careful, minha amiga.

I chuckle to myself, earning a sideways glance from Sean as he squeezes my hand that is underneath his on the seat between us.

Me: So we’re back to the double team text attack?

Helen: What do you expect?!? Girl, you better call me tonight and give me a full run down. I know that the sex must have been out of this world!

Me: No comment.

Helen: Oh, come on. Give me something to get me through the day.

Rico: Please, for the love of God, give her something to shut her up ?

I think for a moment, do I really want to burst the Sean and Sam bubble just yet. I’d rather have an uninterrupted day to ourselves so that we can work out where we’re going. On that, I send one last text.

Me: Last night was for me in his office, for him in bed, then for both of us this morning …

Rico: I think I like this guy already.

Rico: And you’ve succeeded in shutting Hels up, you’re a legend. Have fun, talk tonight.

I turn my phone off and hand it to Sean, earning a quirked brow. “Don’t give that back to me until tonight when I go home. I don’t want any interruptions today.” I smile at him and his eyes go soft as he lifts his hand and rests his palm on my cheek, giving me a gentle, probing, lazy kiss that I feel right down in my toes.

The butterflies in my stomach flutter once more as we head to breakfast. I know he’s going to want to talk about our past, and to be honest, I’m prepared to go there if it means he can forgive me and move forward. I didn’t miss the guarded approach he took with me this morning when we woke up. He was braced for me to bolt, but the thought didn’t even cross my mind. I want him. I want everything he represents and offers. I want the man, the Dom, the lawyer, the whole damn package.

Whatever I need to deal with today to make him see that, bring it on.

Chapter 16: “Run”

Sam

We’ve been in this out of the way café for half an hour now. Sean chose to sit next to me instead of opposite me and has been very tactile … touching my leg with his, brushing his arm against mine as he reaches for his coffee, and looking at me like he still can’t believe that I’m here. But there is still a slight hesitancy in his eyes. I hate that I’m the reason it’s there and that, despite everything that happened between us last night and this morning, there is still a part of him expecting me to bolt.