Built

He picked up the gavel, but before he brought it down he said, “On a side note, it does this often jaded court official good to see a man turn his life around, accept responsibility, and make selfless and caring choices. I didn’t know you before, Mr. Fuller, but the man standing before me now is the kind of parent I wish all children had fighting for them.”

The gavel hit the top of the bench, the judge left in a flurry of black robes, and I turned to Zeb with a huge grin as his mother and sister got up and slowly made their way over.

I wanted to reach out and touch him, to hug him and celebrate with him. His eyes were shining bright and his smile was so infectious that I couldn’t help but return it.

“You won.” I whispered out the words around the lump in my throat.

His grin dimmed a little and he climbed to his feet. I went still as stone when he bent over and pressed his lips to the top of my head.

“Not yet, but the game isn’t over yet.” He straightened to his impressive height and looked down at me with serious eyes. “Thank you, Sayer. You gave me everything.”

He walked away from me and threw his arms around his family. They all shared an embrace and I could hear his mom crying.

Victory was very sweet, but watching Zeb walk away with it because I wasn’t ready to let him share it with me felt like the greatest loss in the entire world.

CHAPTER 16

Zeb

Hyde had been in my custody for two full weeks when Rowdy called and told me that everyone was getting together at Asa and his girlfriend Royal’s new place for a housewarming party. He mentioned that everyone was curious about the little boy they had heard so much about from Sayer and that had been keeping me occupied. I hadn’t really seen much of my friends since the whole custody case started and I knew there was a big part of me that wanted to go on the off chance that Sayer would be there. I agreed to swing by for an hour and refrained from asking my friend Rowdy if his sister was planning on making an appearance. I knew he had to know what was going on—or rather what was no longer going on—between the two of us, and if he didn’t mention it I wasn’t going to either. That was an open wound that didn’t need salt poured on it.

Taking myself out of Sayer’s life ranked up there with the hardest things I had ever done. Seeing her in court, listening to her tell the judge about all the love I had to give to Hyde and yet not being willing to take any of it for herself when it was so freely offered had me ready to rupture at all the places where I was barely holding it together.

When she told me that I won I wanted to shake her and ask her how in the hell she could say that when we hadn’t spoken directly in a month. There was no winning without her being where she was supposed to be. She was supposed to be with me, with my son, and we were supposed to be a family. She was the one that had fought to make it so and she was the one walking away from the spoils of the war.

Hyde was playing in the living room when I went to get him to take him to the party. He had settled into being with me with relative ease, even though there were still some struggles at night. He didn’t like the dark. He didn’t like to be left alone. He didn’t like to sleep through the night. I was getting used to waking up in the morning with a tiny body inhabiting the opposite side of my bed. He also didn’t like it when I had to leave him with my mom while I went to work. Every time I came to pick him up in the early evening he ran at me like we had been separated for months instead of hours, like he was surprised I’d come back for him. It broke my heart that he felt so insecure, but all I could do was show up. I would always show up for him and eventually he would realize that he had nothing to worry about.

“You ready to go, little man?”

He turned to look up at me from the trucks he was pushing around the floor and furrowed his tiny brow. “Is Joss gonna be there?”

God bless my niece. She might be a handful and not know when to keep quiet, but she had taken the little boy under her tiny wing and the two of them were as thick as thieves.

“No. These are a bunch of my friends that all want to meet you. There might be a little girl named Remy there, but she’s pretty young, so I’m not sure she’ll know how to play with you.”

Rome and Cora’s daughter was the spitting image of her pixielike mother and a tiny tornado of activity.

“I’ll take my trucks just in case.” He got to his feet and held the plastic toys out to me.

“Sounds like a plan. Don’t forget to grab your hat and gloves.” Denver had nose-dived into early winter, and even though there wasn’t snow on the ground yet, the temperatures were hitting below freezing on the regular. I was regretting every single time I ever gave my mother hell for trying to make me dress warm when I was a kid as Hyde grumbled all the way to his room. Little boys apparently hated being warm and it was an ongoing struggle to keep my little guy bundled up.

I put on my own coat and shoved the trucks into the pockets. I grabbed the keys to the Jeep and waited for Hyde to come barreling out of his room. He had his knit hat on and one glove and a puzzled look on his face.

“I only have one.” He held up his bare hand for inspection as I lifted an eyebrow at him.

“Where did the other one go?”

He shrugged his tiny shoulders and shuffled his feet in the black Converses that matched my own.

“I dunno. I lost it.”

I sighed and pulled the glove off his other hand. I was going to have to start buying those suckers in bulk. “You think you might’ve left it over at Grandma’s?”

More shrugging. “Maybe. Are you mad at me?” His bottom lip trembled when he asked it.