Can You Keep a Secret?(46)
Author: Sophie Kinsella

There’s something wrong here.

‘I don’t believe you,’ I say, giving her a long look. ‘You weren’t having sex.’

The pink dots on Lissy’s cheeks deepen in colour.

‘Yes we were!’

‘No you weren’t! Lissy, what were you really doing?’

‘We were having sex, OK?’ says Lissy agitatedly. ‘He’s my new boyfriend and … that’s what we were doing! Now just leave me alone.’ She gets up flusteredly, scattering raisin toast crumbs, and heads out of the room, tripping slightly on the rug.

I stare after her, completely agog.

Why is she lying? What on earth was she doing in there? What’s more embarrassing than sex, for God’s sake? I’m so intrigued I almost feel cheered up.

To be honest, it’s not the greatest weekend of my life. It’s made even less great when the post arrives and I get a postcard from Mum and Dad from Le Spa Meridien, telling me what a fantastic time they’re having. And even less great when I read my horoscope in the Mail, and it tells me I may just have made a big mistake.

But by Monday morning, I’m feeling better. I haven’t made a mistake. My new life starts today. I’m going to forget all about love and romance and concentrate on my career. Maybe I’ll even look for a new job.

As I come out of the tube station, I start to like this idea a lot. I’ll apply for a job as Marketing Executive at Coca-Cola or somewhere. And I’ll get it. And Paul will suddenly realize what a terrible mistake he made, not promoting me. And he’ll ask me to stay, but I’ll say, ‘It’s too late. You had your chance.’ And then he’ll beg, ‘Emma, is there anything I can do to change your mind?’ And then I’ll say—

By the time I reach the office, Paul is grovelling on the floor as I sit nonchalantly on his desk, holding one knee (I also seem to be wearing a new trouser suit and Prada shoes) saying, ‘You know, Paul, all you had to do was treat me with a little respect—’

Shit, My eyes focus and I stop in my tracks, hand on the glass doors. There’s a blond head in the foyer.

Connor. A wave of panic overcomes me. I can’t go in there. I can’t do it. I can’t—

Then the head moves, and it’s not Connor at all, it’s Andrea from Accounts. I push the door open, feeling like a complete moron. God, I’m a mess. I have to get a grip of myself, because I will run into Connor before too long, and I’m just going to have to handle it.

At least no-one at work knows yet, I think as I walk up the stairs. That would make things a million times harder. To have people coming up to me and saying—

‘Emma, I’m so sorry to hear about you and Connor!’

‘What?’ My head jerks up in shock and I see a girl called Nancy coming towards me.

‘It was such a bolt from the blue! Of all the couples to split up, I would never have said you two. But it just shows, you never can tell …’

I stare at her dazedly.

‘How … how do you know?’

‘Oh, everyone knows!’ says Nancy. ‘You know there was a little drinks do on Friday night? Well, Connor came to it, and he got quite drunk. And he told everyone. In fact, he made a little speech!’

‘He … he did what?’

‘It was quite touching, really. It was all about how the Panther Corporation felt like his family, and how he knew we would all support him through this difficult time. And you, of course,’ she adds as an afterthought. ‘Although since you were the one who broke it off, Connor’s really the wounded party.’ She leans forward confidentially. ‘I have to say, a lot of the girls were saying you must have a screw loose!’

I cannot believe this. Connor gave a speech about our break-up. After promising to keep it quiet. And now everyone’s on his side.

‘Right,’ I say at last. ‘Well, I’d better get on—’

‘It just seems such a shame.’ Nancy eyes me inquisitively. ‘You two seemed so perfect!’

‘I know we did.’ I force a smile. ‘Anyway. See you later.’

I head for the new coffee machine and am staring into space, trying to get my head round this, when a tremulous voice interrupts me.

‘Emma?’ I look up and my heart sinks. It’s Katie, staring at me as though I’ve grown three heads.

‘Oh hi!’ I say, trying to sound breezy.

‘Is it true?’ she whispers. ‘Is it true? Because I won’t believe it’s true until I hear you say it with your own lips.’

‘Yes,’ I say reluctantly. ‘It’s true. Connor and I have broken up.’

‘Oh God.’ Katie’s breathing becomes quicker and quicker. ‘Oh my God. It’s true. Oh my God, oh my God, I really can’t cope with this …’

Shit. She’s hyperventilating. I grab an empty sugar bag and shove it over her mouth.

‘Katie, calm down!’ I say helplessly. ‘Breathe in … and out …’

‘I’ve been having panic attacks all weekend,’ she manages, between breaths. ‘I woke up last night in a cold sweat and I just thought to myself, if this is true, the world doesn’t make sense any more. It simply makes no sense.’

‘Katie, we broke up! That’s all. People break up all the time.’