Chaos series by Kristen Ashley

“You were wrong,” I told him, placing my glass on a spread kitchen towel by the sink.

He took his face out of my neck and turned me in his arms.

When he got me face to face, I wrapped mine around him.

“Yeah?”

“You said six point five visits for Zadie.” I grinned up at him. “It only took four.”

“Five,” he returned.

He was counting too.

But he was wrong.

“Four,” I returned.

“Five, babe. She was still holdin’ back over dinner with Deb.”

This was true.

Which meant he was right.

Therefore, I muttered, “Whatever.”

He gave me a squeeze not to give me a squeeze, because he’d begun laughing.

It wasn’t unadulterated mirth. He was being quiet because we had two sleeping girls in the house.

But it was still open, genuine, and amazing.

And further, we had two sleeping girls in our house.

I stood in his arms, in the kitchen, watching my man laugh quietly.

The road to that moment sucked big-time.

Having that moment, just that one, Logan and me holding each other in our kitchen, him laughing and happy, two girls who’d had a good day with their dad and his woman sleeping in our house, that road was worth it.

So I gave him a squeeze and I did it to give him a squeeze.

He focused on me, still chuckling.

I was not chuckling.

I wasn’t even smiling.

And when Logan caught that, his amusement died.

“Baby?” he whispered.

“Sometimes I felt consumed, like I didn’t exist, gone,” I whispered back. “Every day it was just going through the motions.”

He dipped his face close to mine and his repeated, “Baby?” was rougher.

It was also confused.

I didn’t explain outright, even as I did.

“But it was worth it. Every step was worth it. Even if all I ever get from it was this one moment with you.”

“Millie.”

That was abrasive.

He got me.

I gave him the rest anyway.

“I’d do it again for another moment like this. And again for a moment like I had over French toast with you and your babies. And again and again and again, for each night I get to sleep with you. No joke, Snook’ums. No lie. I’d do it every day it was so worth it to walk through fire for you.”

He didn’t call me baby. He didn’t call my name.

He kissed me.

Not a touch. Not a peck. Not light.

Hot and hard and so, so wet.

I ended it, breaking the connection to slide my lips to his ear because I wasn’t done.

“I love you, Logan Judd,” I whispered there. “I never stopped loving you. Thank you for making it worth it.”

He groaned, grasped on to my hair, and turned my head so he could kiss me again.

It was as good as the one before and then some.

Yes.

Absolutely yes.

Consumed by the flames for twenty years, every second was totally worth it.

*  *  *

“Zadie?” I called, then stutter-stepped on my way down the hall because Chief, chased by Poem, ran under my feet.

There was no answer.

I looked into the living room and saw nothing, which I wouldn’t, since I’d left her on the couch.

Perhaps she’d gone out back with her dad and sister.

It was the next morning. The workmen hadn’t come early. By the time they arrived, we were all up but Logan had gotten up before everyone and he’d gone out to get LaMar’s donuts.

So we were all sugared up too.

When the men arrived, Logan went out back to go over the project with them and oversee the work.

Cleo, daddy’s girl, had gone with him.

Zadie, possibly sugar crashing on the couch in front of some program, probably not wanting to move because Poem had fallen asleep curled into the curve of her little body, had elected to stay in the house with me.

I didn’t suspect she wanted to be with me but instead with Poem as her giving me a shot meant her not avoiding the kittens anymore.

I also suspected that even though this weekend was going great, she didn’t need me up in her face all the time, continuing to try to win her.

She needed to get to a normal with me, her dad, her sister in our house.

So I’d decided to give her some alone time and left her and Poem to hit the shower and get ready to face the day.

It was totally a half-hair-air-dried day. We didn’t have the girls much longer so even if I needed to give them normal, I also wasn’t real fired up they’d be gone the next day. It was awesome to have them around because they were awesome (even Zadie), they filled up the house, and made it feel homey and Logan loved having his girls with him. So I wanted more of all that before it went away, which meant I wasn’t wasting time spending eons on my hair.

I still had to roll out the top.

However, between blasts of the hair dryer to the roller brush, I’d heard the doorbell ring. So I’d quit my preparations to find out who was at the door (with Chaos back in my life, it could be anyone—I was still thinking it was Dot, Alan, and the kids, just so they could checking up on me knowing the girls were there for their first weekend).

When I’d walked by the front door, no one was in the window.

And now Zadie wasn’t answering.

I hit the living room, going to the back of the couch and looking over it.

Poem, obviously, had woken up and decided to play with her brother.

Zadie also had clearly decided to do something else because she wasn’t on the couch.

“Zadie?” I called again, looking toward the kitchen to look out the window of the back door even though I couldn’t see all the way to the end of my property from there.