Chaos series by Kristen Ashley

“I was mean to you,” she whispered.

“Sometimes, learning how to do right isn’t the easiest lesson,” I told her. “And you were feeling a lot for reasons that were real, darling. There’s nothing wrong with wanting your family together. I get that.” Her lip quivered and her bright eyes got brighter so I cupped her soft cheek in my hand, stroking it with my thumb. “But you saw your daddy happy. You saw your mom was good. You didn’t handle the situation right in the beginning, Zadie, but if you get there in the end, that’s all that matters.” I gave her a small smile and asked, “Are you there?”

She took in another broken breath and nodded.

“Will you be my friend?” I asked.

She nodded again, this time more decisively.

No, definitely no nervous breakdown.

With that, no matter what happened to me that day, I was all good.

Everything was all good.

So I gave her a full grin and shared that.

“Then we’re all good.”

I saw Logan’s hand reach beyond me to cup the back of his little girl’s head.

“Love this sweetness, Zadie, but you gotta let your old man take care of his woman,” he said gently.

She looked up to her dad, her chin trembled, then she nodded and let me go.

I started to straighten but didn’t get there because the second Zadie stepped away, Cleo hit me hard, wrapping her arms around me and holding on tight.

“Glad you’re okay, Millie,” she whispered, her voice frail.

To combat that, I curved my arms around her and gave her a tight squeeze to let her know I really was okay.

When I started to release, she pulled away and moved directly to her sister to guide her deeper into the living room.

Pure Cleo, taking it on herself to do anything she could, great or small, to help out her dad.

I gave her a wink and as Logan guided me firmly to the hall, I turned my gaze to the women in my living room. I tried to give them a look that said we have to talk.

I wasn’t sure if they got my message before I had to look away to go down the hall.

We were in the bedroom when I asked, “How are you gonna explain all this to Deb?”

Logan kicked the door shut with his boot, kept moving me into the room but did it giving me his eyes.

“What do you need? Rest? Coffee? A shot of bourbon?”

I stopped in a way it stopped him. Then I turned into him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

“What are you gonna say to Deb, Low? You have to tell her because if you don’t, the girls will, and she’s gonna freak. That could mean she won’t want the girls—”

He lifted his hands and put them to either side of my neck.

“Deb did not spend our marriage in a vacuum, Millie,” he stated. “She knew what I was when she met me, when she took my ring, and when she shared my bed. She knew how Chaos changed. She knew our activities after we changed. I didn’t lay all of it out for her but I told her what she needed to know. She isn’t gonna like this. She’s gonna freak. Then she’s gonna trust in the brotherhood. It might take her time to get there. But she’ll get there.”

I found this hard to believe.

“Are you sure? Today was extreme,” I pointed out the obvious.

“She never bought into the biker life, babe, but she lived a long time connected to Chaos. She knows us. She wasn’t into it because she wasn’t into anything. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know us. She’ll get there.”

I found this easier to believe but not by much.

I decided not to pursue that.

Even so, I didn’t get a chance before he declared, “And if she doesn’t, the gig we got goin’ that’s workin’ good will stop workin’ good. No one is gonna keep my daughters from me for any reason. It just is not gonna happen. She tries, she’ll learn quick she shouldn’t have. But she knows that too. So she ain’t gonna try.”

That I could believe.

So I nodded, suddenly feeling exhausted.

“I think I need a shower,” I told him. “Then I wanna call Dot and—”

“Unh-unh,” he denied.

I blinked up at him.

He saw it and tipped his head so his face was closer to mine.

His tone was firm, but gentle, when he stated, “You got a big family. That family is yours, all of it, but that don’t mean the bottom line is that you really got two families. You know the gig, too, baby. This is Chaos. You got your sisters in Chaos. You need them, they’re right down the hall. Other than that, no go. This stays in Chaos, and it fucks me to lay down this law after the shit that went down with you today, but that’s the end of it. Hear?”

“Dot won’t—” I began.

He cut me off, “Alan will.”

I shut my mouth because he was right.

Alan would.

He’d totally lose his mind.

“Hear?” he prompted softly.

I thought of my Chaos sisters in the living room. They’d descended, probably immediately, to look after Logan’s girls.

I didn’t know them all that well. I just knew I liked them. I trusted them.

And I was Chaos, in this situation, they were all I had.

As well as Logan, that was.

So it was good that was nothing to sneeze at.

With no other choice, because I’d already made it years ago when I chose Logan, I did what I’d been doing all day.

I nodded and whispered, “I hear.”

Like any good old lady should.

I knew it was the right thing to do even before I did it.

But when Logan’s hands slid up to my jaw and he used it to pull me up to my toes so my mouth could meet his and he could kiss me light, but long and wet, relieved but determined, that knowledge was confirmed.