Come to Me Softly (Closer to You #2)(40)
Author: A.L. Jackson

Everything slowed, my heart contented.

Jared’s arms were the best place to be.

His gentle gaze slipped all over my face. A caress. “I love you, Aly Moore. You know that, don’t you?”

I reached up and cupped one side of his face. His fire burned my skin, the connection we shared greater than anything that should be possible. “Of course I know that.”

I knew it long before he knew it himself.

TEN

Aleena

Anxious hands kneaded the steering wheel, the numbers stamped across Jared’s knuckles prominent, his fingers bristling with unspent energy. He sat in the driver’s seat of my car, cautious as he made his way through the heavy afternoon traffic on the freeway. He cast me a sidelong glance.

That same stirring of excitement I felt in my stomach danced all over Jared’s gorgeous face, but it seemed amplified a thousand times, this carefree hope so evident in the searing blue of his eyes.

And the man was beautiful, but there was just something about seeing a smile on his face that made me weak in the knees. He tugged his bottom lip between his teeth, obviously trying to hide something behind his grin. He ran his thumb over the back of my hand that he had tucked on his lap.

Warmth spread over my skin, igniting the exhilaration I felt simmering in my blood.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” I asked for about the twentieth time, my penetrating gaze burning into the side of his playful expresssion.

He freed his grin, letting it spread. One side of his mouth twisted up with the secret. His big hand tightened on mine. “Nope. I already told you, it’s a surprise.”

I huffed. “This isn’t fair, Jared. We’re not supposed to keep secrets from each other,” I said, making a last-ditch effort to get it out of him.

He slanted a knowing eye in my direction and released my hand long enough to tug on a piece of my hair. “Ha . . . nice try, Aly Cat. This is not a secret. It’s a surprise. There’s a big difference.” He cocked his head with a smirk.

I shifted in my seat, trying not to fidget but unable to stop the rush of nerves firing in my system. The truth was, I had a pretty good idea of what his surprise would be. We’d been online, looking at apartments for a little place of our own, someplace to start our family together.

Judging by the direction Jared was taking us, I thought that was what it had to be.

But I pushed it down, not wanting to get my hopes up.

More than two weeks had passed since he came back to me. We’d settled into some kind of routine. Every morning he’d get up early for work, off to his job with the same construction company he’d been working with before. Only now, his duties had changed. He was giving orders rather than taking them.

Instead of leaving me with a tattered note like he’d done all those months before, he’d whisper the sweetest words to my temple as I traveled just on the cusp of sleep, feelings he’d been too fearful to say aloud before, these beautiful words that breathed our love into my ear every morning and pumped the deepest joy into my spirit.

After he left, I got up and went to class, and I’d done a few short shifts at the restaurant, even though Jared kept telling me it wasn’t necessary.

He wanted to take care of me.

I knew he was making good money at his job. But I knew his meaning went deeper than just possessions. Jared wanted to provide and support.

Trying to contain my grin, I snuck a peek at him, my eyes caressing along his sharp jaw, his pouty lips pronounced in his strong profile as he focused his attention on the road in front of us.

I squirmed a little, thinking of the nights . . . the nights Jared and I were just a tangle of limbs, neither of us able to get enough of the other. Our hands constantly searched and our mouths sought, desperate to make up for that tortuous time when we’d been apart.

But we would never make up for that time because neither of us would ever get enough.

Still, Jared seemed perfectly content with giving it a try.

He looked over at me. One eyebrow lifted as his eyes narrowed, his interest piqued, as if he’d caught the blatant desire on my face. Heat pooled in my stomach. Guess I didn’t mind it so much, either.

Chuckling, he turned his focus back to the road and lifted our entwined hands to his mouth. He brushed his lips over the back of my hand, didn’t say anything, just let this joy radiate from him as he carefully wound his way off the freeway.

Happiness had taken us whole, our days spent together like a normal couple that I’d never been brave enough to hope for.

But I also understood the truth in what I’d told my mother on Thanksgiving. Things would not always be easy with him.

Nightmares continued to plague Jared. Not one night had passed without panic and fear sucking all the air from my room. Jared would jerk to sitting, drenched in sweat and gasping for the breath the night had stolen from his lungs, his eyes wild and speaking of more pain than any one person should ever have to bear. Almost frantic, he’d gather me up in his arms and lay us back down, exhaling his relief into my hair when he realized he was in bed with me and not still stuck in the nightmare of a past he would never be able to change.

I’d tried to talk with him about it, to get him to open up to what he kept buried inside, but he would always force a smile, murmur against my cheek, Don’t worry, promising he was sleeping better than he had in years.

I’d nod, even though the show of acceptance was nothing but a lie.

How could I not worry? It was impossible. I loved him so much, and all I wanted was for him to find a way to heal, to be whole. No, I didn’t want him to forget. Forgetting Helene would be a tragedy in itself. I just wanted him to find peace.

But I knew for now I had to let it go and accept he wasn’t ready.

Or maybe it was my own nightmare coming into play, my greatest fear that one day I would push him too far and push him away. It was like clinging to a quickly fraying rope. One day the burdened weight Jared carried on his shoulders would cause it to snap and both of us would fall.

I just didn’t know where we would land.

Secure and whole and in each other’s arms.

Or shattered.

I knew in my heart the impact would crush us both and neither of us would survive.

Jared took an exit in Chandler, one of the areas in Phoenix that had been built up over the past handful of years.

I made a vain attempt at sitting still while he made a couple of turns, one off the main road and then down a street that ran alongside a small neighborhood. But I couldn’t. I was pretty sure everything I was feeling was fed directly from Jared. Because his excitement had shifted. It was still there, but a thread of disquiet had woven into his demeanor, restless and unsure.