Confessions of an Alli Cat

“What are you smiling about?” Alex asks as he breezes into my office.

I turn away from my computer and smile at my new boss.  There’s no way I’m going to tell him that I’m laughing because I just emailed Sara the time of our Botox appointment for tomorrow night.  I can practically hear her screaming from here and that gives me great joy.  I might be somewhat sadistic and I can’t have my new boss knowing that.

“Nothing in particular,” I tell him.  “I’m just in a good mood, I guess.”

“On a Monday?” Alex raises one handsome eyebrow.  Yes, even his eyebrows are sexy.  I smile.

“I guess so.  I know.  I must be an alien or something.”

“I think you must surely be an alien.”

Alex smiles again and once again, I have the strangest feeling that I know him.  But once again, I know that I don’t.  I would remember such a sexy face.  And body.  Of that, I am certain.  I absently wonder how many hours a week he spends in the gym.

“I’ve got our meeting nailed down with the supplier,” he tells me, bringing my thoughts back to the present.  “Can you be ready to leave by Thursday evening?  The meeting is Friday morning in San Diego.  We’ll do the meeting and then fly back that evening.”

I glance at my calendar.  I can surely have Sophie stay Thursday night with Rick. And if not, Sara will take her.

“Of course,” I tell him.  “That’ll be fine.  I’ll be ready.”

“Great,” he answers. “I’ll have Libby email the details to Taylor. And I’ve brought you the background info on their company so that you’re up to speed.”  He hands me the file.

“Perfect,” I smile.

I expect him to leave, but he doesn’t. He lingers, chatting about little things…this and that.  I find myself watching him.  The way he moves, the easy way he speaks.

Alex is definitely handsome in a very grown up way.  Refined and gorgeous.  He’s obviously grown comfortable in his skin and he wears it well.  His suits are expensive and tailored, his shoes are perfectly polished.  His smile is…well, intoxicating.  I know it sounds corny to say, but it’s true.  And he’s smiling at me right now.

“So, what do you think? Is it doable?”

Doable?  Hell yes, he’s doable.  But wait.

Uh-oh.  He asked me for something and I have no idea what.

“Um, sure,” I answer.

Please Lord, don’t let me be agreeing to something horrible, I silently pray.

Although, I’m not sure God will be that inclined to help since I only don’t know what Alex said because I had been pondering how sexy he is.

Alex grins, the warmth spreading to his deep blue eyes.

“Perfect!  I’ll have Libby take care of the intern paperwork and I’ll tell my son he can start when we return from our trip. Thank you, Alli.  I appreciate this.”

I freeze.  Intern?

Craaaaaaap.  Why wasn’t I paying attention?  I don’t have time for an intern.  But I can hardly say no now.

Instead, I smile.  “Of course.  It’s not a problem. We can surely find something for him to do.”

Alex unfolds from the chair and grins one more time, then he’s gone.

I drop my head to my desk.

I’m such an idiot.

I reluctantly pick my head up so that I can e-mail Taylor the good news.  She’s in charge of another intern. And not just any intern, but the son of our senior VP.  She’s going to kill me.

I hear her shriek when she reads it, so I run to my door and lock it so that she can’t commit any form of physical violence upon me.  I’m too young to die.

********

“I’m going to kill you,” Sara tells me.  And from the look on her face as we walk up to the plastic surgeon’s office, she might mean it.  I take a step away from her to be on the safe side.

“It’s going to be fine,” I assure her.

Although to be honest, I’m not feeling that confident.  I’d always said that I’d never get plastic surgery of any sort.  And even though an injection of botulism to the face isn’t exactly surgery, it isn’t exactly making me feel all warm and fuzzy, either.

“People do this all the time,” I continue, as we check in and sit in the posh waiting room.  A water wall flows to our left and my feet are resting on a teak floor.  “And this guy must be really good.  Check out this waiting room!  They even have chocolate.”

I motion to the little café area on the side, where there is a mocha/coffee/latte machine and baskets of chocolate bars.

Sara rolls her eyes. “Hmph.  He’s just trying to create repeat customers.  He wants to bring us back for liposuction.”

I chuckle and pick up a magazine.  But I don’t have to wait long enough for me to read it.  They call us and we go back together, led by a very trim Barbie-esque nurse.

After having our faces poked with long needles for a brief moment, we are walking back out within minutes.

It was quick, it was painless, and it was nothing like the experience-from-hell that I had with the Brazilian wax.  It almost doesn’t seem fair—it seems like there should have been some pain involved to pay Sara back.  I turn to her.

“See?  We’re fine.  And within a couple of days, we’re going to look ten years younger.  You can thank me then, if you like.  You don’t need to do it now.”

I laugh and she glares.

But that entire scenario is reversed in the morning.

********

When Sara stops by my house to check out my face, she laughs until she almost pees her pants.  Because I look like the Elephant Man.  Or, rather, I look like the Elephant Man would’ve looked if he had just had an allergic reaction to botulism.

I am wailing as Sara laughs when Sophie bursts into my bathroom.

I see my daughter visibly flinch as she looks at my face.  And to be fair, it looks like my face has been hit with a garbage truck.

My eyes are swollen to the point where I am basically peering out from two puffy dough piles with slits in them.  There are faint shadows under my eyes and I’m not certain, but I think there is even a broken blood vessel in my left eye.  I can’t tell though, because I can’t open it far enough to examine it.

“Oh, my god!  Who did this to you?” Sophie demands, rushing to me and spinning me around.  “I swear to god, if Dad did this, I’m going to kill him. We’ll call the police.”