Confessions of an Alli Cat

“Are you going to be able to control yourself?” I ask jokingly.  “You’ve got to figure out things for him to do.”

“Oh, I can think of some things for him to do,” she says lasciviously, and then laughs.  I roll my eyes again .

“Just show him in before you pounce on him, please.  The last thing we need is a sexual harassment suit.”

She grins and is gone.  And then she’s back within a minute.  It takes me a second to realize that the shadow following her is Colby.

As in… Shade.

What.

The.

Hell.

I am staring at him with my mouth open as Sara introduces him to me.  But I barely hear her voice. The sound is roaring in my ears.  I’m just flabbergasted.  And Colby’s grin is mischievous, his eyes sparkling.  It’s almost as if he knew, like he was expecting to see me.

I stand up stiffly, holding my hand out.

“Hi Colby.  It’s nice to see you again,” I say for Taylor’s benefit.  I shake the hand that has been everywhere on my body, the fingers that have been inside of my mouth…and other places.  My eyes never leave his and the ornery expression never disappears from his face.

He knew.

I am sure of it.

“You already know each other?” Taylor is surprised as she stares at me.

My eyes haven’t left Colby’s.  “Yes.  Colby is Sophie’s new swim coach.”

“Ah,” Taylor answers, practically fawning over Colby.  “That makes sense.  You look like a swimmer,” she tells him.  He grins at her.

“Thank you, Taylor,” I tell her.  “I’ll just take a few minutes to talk with Colby about the position.  Can you close my door?”

She looks intrigued, but she does as I ask and I am alone with Colby.

I fight to stay calm as the ramifications of this scenario hit home with me.

Colby is Shade.

Shade is a gigolo whom I slept with.

Shade’s father is Alex who I have a crush on.

Oh, sweet Lord.

My life is an endless series of complications.

“You knew,” I say softly.  “You knew when you came in here today that I would be here, didn’t you?”

Colby grins, his blue eyes sparkling.

“Yes.  My dad called last week and gave me your name so that I would know who to ask for.”

In a valiant effort to hold my shit together, I take three deep breaths before answering him.

“And you didn’t say anything to me on Friday night because?”  I raise an eyebrow now and swallow hard as I remember what we did together on Friday.

“Because I thought it would be fun to surprise you,” he admits, taking a step toward me.  I take a step back, then in fact, I retreat behind my desk.  There is laughter in his eyes when I meet his gaze.

“Alli, why are you running from me?”  His blue eyes are sparkling.  “This doesn’t change anything.  In fact, I only took this position after my dad told me who to ask for.  I have to admit, I thought it would be fun to work here with you.  But that doesn’t change our weekend activities.  You’ve seen me coach Sophie.  I’m very good at compartmentalizing things.  I can handle everything. Trust me.”

He’s so cute.  So, so cute.

And so, so young.

Did I mention so, so young?

I make a decision, on the spot, without even consulting BB and I know she will kill me later.

I also know that I might live to regret it, but I know I have to do it.

And seriously, as I gaze at him, at how young and gorgeous he is, my resolve wavers.  But then I remember that I can’t keep paying him to fill a void in my life.  Because as long as I do that, I won’t move forward and find something real.

So, I sigh while BB silently wails. I know that if she could, she’d be punching me in the pelvic floor right now.

“Colby, you are adorable. And we’ve had a lot of fun.  But this does complicate things.  But even still, I do believe that this is a great opportunity for you while you’re figuring out what you want to do in life.  So, I’m going to end our…other relationship.  It’s fulfilled its purpose anyway.  I needed you to get me ready to date again.  And you have.  So, thank you.  It’s been really fun.”

Colby stares at me, all amusement gone from his eyes now.  In fact, I see dismay there as he realizes what I’m saying.  And honestly, I can’t quite believe I’m saying it. Am I seriously going to break up the perfect arrangement for something that may or may not ever happen?

But I picture Alex’s handsome face and I steel my resolve.

Yes.  I am.

“It’s been really fun?  Alli, come on.  I promise.  I can handle this.  No one will ever know that we know each other from elsewhere.”

“Oh, I know,” I tell him.  “But see, that’s the problem.  I will know.  And I know that you won’t say anything.  But I’m not as good at compartmentalizing as you are.  I can’t continue to see you and work with you here.  I’m not that talented.”

Colby throws his head back and laughs now.  “Alli, you’re far more talented than you think.”

I shake my head.  “See?  This is what I’m talking about.  If you throw sexual innuendoes at me, I can’t concentrate on work.  And I’m here to work during the day.  Plus, having you and your dad both here is just twenty different kinds of wrong if I’m still seeing you.  So I’m not going to.”

Colby is quiet as he assesses me.

“My dad.  You know, when you told me that you needed distracting, I wondered if it was because you may have met someone.  Were you talking about my dad?”

I hesitate for a moment too long before answering, because Colby almost gasps.

“You were.”

I nod.

“You have a thing for my dad,” Colby says slowly as if he’s trying to make himself understand it.

“I might,” I say.  “I’m trying to figure that out.”

Colby shakes his head.  “Well, I’ve taught you well.  At least I know my dad will be taken care of.”  He laughs because he means it as a joke.  But I shudder.

“See?  This is all just too weird,” I say, feeling a little sick to my stomach.  “I can’t date your dad now.  There’s no way in the world.  And does your dad know what you do?”