Crashed

The words to the song hit me the same time as his sarcasm, and I emit a sobbing laugh, my body unsure which emotion it should let rule. And I decide to let them all rule—every single one—because this is a once in a lifetime kind of day.

And because I allow myself to feel everything right now, all I want is him, desperately. I appreciate all of the guests being here, but I couldn’t care less about all of the pomp and circumstance because what matters most is the man that’s going to be waiting for me at the end of the aisle.

I pick up my phone one last time, a soft smile on my face and type, I’ll be the one in white.

The knock on the door pulls me back from my thoughts. “Come in.”

“You ready, sweetheart?”

My mom’s voice tugs at all of the emotions rolling through me, and I have to fight the burn in the back of my throat. I keep telling myself not to cry—that I’ll mess up my makeup—but I know it’s futile. I’ve shed a lifetime of tears over the past three and a half years; I’m entitled to ruin my makeup with tears of joy now.

“Yeah, I am.” I look over at my mom and my lips curve into a soft smile that reflects hers. She holds my gaze, the pride along with a tinge of sadness that she’s letting me go, is evident in her blue eyes. “Don’t start,” I warn her, because I know if she begins crying, so will I.

“I know.” She sniffles and then laughs as places her hands on both sides of my cheeks and stares into my eyes. “He’s the one, Ry. A mother knows these things.” She shakes her head, a soft smile on her face before she answers the question in my eyes. “He dances in the rain with you. That’s how I know.”

I swallow back the tears again as I recall her advice the day we left the hospital. About how life isn’t how you survive the storm, but how you dance in the rain. And if I had any doubt about what I was about to do, it would have vanished in an instant with her simple comment.

Nothing like a mother’s stamp of approval to make my moment that much sweeter.

I’m about to say something when Haddie comes barreling through the door. “Time to fly the flag, baby, because it’s altar time!” she says with a whistle. “Hot damn, woman!”

“Thanks.” I laugh as she and my mom start to gather my dress up and we move toward the staircase, the soft notes of A Thousand Years is being played on an acoustic guitar down below. The words reveal everything I feel about the man waiting for me.

Quinlan gives us the go-ahead from downstairs that signals Colton is in position and can’t see me. My mom and Haddie help me walk down the stairs with my train so I don’t trip and break my ankle. We reach the bottom floor and my mom pulls me into a tight hug before pulling back and smiling at me with so many emotions swimming in her eyes.

“I know,” I whisper to her with a nod as Shane comes to escort her to her seat.

I feel a hand on my arm and turn to find the soft smile of my brother looking so handsome in his tux. Tanner locks eyes with me and just shakes his head. “It’s definitely not dress up at Nana’s house,” he teases, love reflected in his eyes as he reaches out and grabs my hands. “You ready to do this, Bubs?”

I nod my head vigorously, emotion clogging my throat as I think back to when we were little and used to play wedding at our Nana’s house. Gummy lifesavers for wedding rings and stuffed animals for guests. “Never been more ready,” I tell him, kissing him on the cheek as my usually stoic brother’s eyes well up with tears.

“You look stunning.” He shakes his head in disbelief one more time, before placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

“Dad?” I ask, looking over his shoulder for our father.

“Trying to compose himself,” he says with a wink. “It’s not every day you give your baby girl away. He’ll be here in a second.” I nod to him and then he turns to go stand beside Quinlan who’s already a blubbering mess. She meets my eyes and shakes her head, a silent acknowledgment that if we talk right now we’ll both be crying so hard we won’t recover.

“And there’s the woman who’s responsible for hundreds of females crying in their coffee today.” I turn my head to find the man I’ve grown to love over the past year.

“Becks.” It’s all I can say, but the admiration in my tone tells him all he needs to know. I adore him in so many ways, least of all for pushing Colton and me together when all we wanted was to break apart.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he says. “You’ve got time to skip out if you want. His ego’s only going to get bigger after he claims the ultimate prize today.”

My heart squeezes at his words. “Only if you’re driving,” I tease as I take in a deep breath to tame my emotions.

“Nah, he might actually kick my ass for that.” He laughs softly as he pulls me into a hug. “He’s waiting for you,” he whispers into my ear before stepping back and nodding to me.

His words hit their mark as everything around me comes into crystal clear focus. The music. Haddie and Quinlan in their classic black dresses and vibrant bouquets. Tanner rocking on his heels, trying to be patient, but anxiously awaiting the reception so he can take off his bow tie. The strings of the guitar. The hum of everything swirling around me. My heart thundering with anticipation beyond words.

I am so ready for this.

Haddie steps closer, my kick-ass friend has tears in her eyes, and starts to fix my train around me. She finishes and looks at me with a smile. “Just remember, marriage is gonna be tough sometimes. When it is, wear a dress with a zipper up the back.”