Crashed

“For how long do these voids usually last?” Andy speaks up from the side of the bed.

“Well, sometimes for a little while and sometimes forever … but the good thing is that Colton seems to have memories of the day of the crash. So it would seem that a small chunk of time has been lost for him. As days pass, he may realize he doesn’t remember other things … because really, until he is reminded of something, he doesn’t even know he’s missing it.” Dr. Irons looks around the room at all of us and shrugs. “At this time it wouldn’t seem far off to reason that you’ll regain all of it, Colton, but I advise caution because the brain is a tricky thing sometimes. In fact—”

“The national anthem,” Colton says, relief flooding his voice at reclaiming one more memory from the darkness within. I smile at him in encouragement as he clears his throat. “I … I can’t …” Frustration emanates off of him in waves as he tries to remember. “What happened?” He blows out a breath and looks around at everyone in the room before scrubbing his left hand over his face. “You were all there. What else happened?”

“Don’t force it, sweetie.” It’s Dorothea speaking. “Right, Dr. Irons?”

We all look over at Dr. Irons, who nods his head in agreement, but when we look back at Colton, he’s fallen asleep.

We all breathe in a collective gasp. All fearing he’s slipped back into a coma. All our minds racing into overdrive. Dr. Irons puts the brakes on our panic when he says, “This is normal. He’s going to be exhausted the first couple of times he wakes up.”

Shoulders relax, sighs are exhaled, and relief is restored, but our concern never completely abates.

“We know he seems to be—that his brain seems to be—functioning well so far,” Quinlan says as she steps up to the bed. “What can we expect now?”

Dr. Irons watches Colton for a beat before he continues, meeting all of our eyes. “Well, each person is different but I can tell you that the longer it takes Colton to remember, the more frustrated he may become. Sometimes in patients their disposition changes—sometimes they have a temper or are more mellow—and sometimes it doesn’t at all. At this point it’s still a waiting game to see how all of this has affected him long term.”

“Should those of us that were there fill in the blanks for him of what he can’t remember?” Becks asks.

“Of course you can,” he says, “but I can’t guarantee how he’ll respond to it.”

I resume my seat bedside as Dorothea comes over to kiss me goodbye on the cheek before leaning over to press her lips to Colton’s forehead. “We’re just heading to the hotel to get some rest. We’ll be back in the morning. Don’t you dare give up.” She steps back and stares at him for a beat more before smiling softly at me and leaving to join Andy and Quinlan in the hall.

I sigh out loud as Beckett gathers the remaining trash from our late night dinner we’d had while impatiently waiting for Colton to wake. I glance over from my book that I’m really not paying attention to and watch Becks’ methodical movements. I can see the toll the past week has taken on him in the bruises beneath his eyes and the scruff on his usually clean-shaven face. He seems lost.

“How you doing?” I ask the question softly, but I know he can hear me because his body stops momentarily before he puts the last bit in the trash can and shoves it down.

He turns and leans his hip against a counter behind him and just shrugs as our eyes meet. “You know,” he drawls out in his slow, resonating tone that I’ve come to love. “In the sixteen years we’ve known each other, this is the longest we’ve ever gone without talking.” He shrugs again and stares out the window for a moment at the media trucks in the parking lot. “He may be a demanding smart-ass, but I miss him. Call me a pussy, but I kinda like the guy.”

I can’t help the smile that spreads on my lips. “Me too,” I murmur. “Me too.”

Becks walks over to me and presses a kiss to the top of my head. “I’m going to head back to the hotel. I’ve gotta take a shower, check in with my brother, and then I’ll be back, okay?”

A growing adoration for Becks blooms within—the ever true best friend. “Why don’t you stay there tonight and get a good night’s sleep? In a real bed instead of the crappy chairs in the waiting room.”

He chuckles derisively and shakes his head at me. “Pot calling the kettle black, huh?”

“I know, but I just can’t … and besides, I’ve been sleeping in these crappy chairs in here.” I pat the seat of the one I’m sitting on. “At least this has more padding than those out there.” I angle my head and watch him mull it over. “I promise to call if he wakes up.”

He exhales loudly and gives me a reluctant look. “Okay … but you’ll call?”

“Of course.”

I watch Becks leave and welcome the unique silence of the hospital room. I sit and watch Colton, feeling truly blessed indeed that he’s here and whole in front of me—that he didn’t forget me—when it could be so much worse. I send a silent prayer up as time passes, knowing I have to start following through with the various barters I made to the great beyond to get Colton to come back to me.

I field a couple of texts from Haddie, check in on the boys and see how Ricky’s math test went today, before texting Becks good night and telling him Colton’s still out.