Dante’s Girl (The Paradise Diaries #1)(57)
Author: Courtney Cole

And I want to throw up.

Seriously.  I feel nauseous.

“Are you alright?” Mia asks quickly.  She’s watching my face.

“Did you know?” I ask her woodenly.

“No,” she answers simply.

And I believe her.

How did this happen?

Why didn’t he tell me?

He had to know.  He had to know earlier in the day and he chose not to tell me. So essentially, he lied.  He lied by omission.  Maybe this was the reason that I was drawn here tonight.  Maybe I wasn’t feeling sentimental.  Maybe my heart sensed that something was wrong.

I am staring at them in shock when Dante’s gaze accidentally meets mine.

He freezes and dismay clouds his face.

And he takes a step in my direction, but then his father is shaking his hand and I don’t wait to see what happens.  I can’t watch another second of this.  I thought he was truly going to stand up for himself and live the life that he wanted… which meant that he wouldn’t go through this charade of being with Elena.

I thought he wanted to be with me.

But he lied.

And so I do the only thing I can rationally think of to do.

I run.

Chapter Twenty-Six

The problem is, I didn’t learn enough about the Old Palace before I moved out to the Giliberti House.  And so I don’t have a clue where I am going.  I’m all turned around.  And even though I have the good sense to take off my heels and carry them as I run, it doesn’t do me a lot of good since I don’t know where I’m going.

Mia gets caught up in the crowds and so I lose her in the fray.

But that is my intention.

I want to lose her.

I just want to be alone so that I can cry in peace and quiet.

After a few minutes of running aimlessly through empty halls, I find myself outdoors by the pool.  It’s still and quiet and the water is sparkling under the moon.  There is no one here so I collapse into a heap on a lounge.

And I cry.

I cry in heaves and sobs and wrack my ribs and finally my freaking head hurts again from all the sobbing. And I don’t even feel pathetic for crying so much because anyone in their right mind would cry in my situation.

I’m in a foreign country, all alone, in love with the Prime Minister’s son and he’s too afraid to break out of his cage and love me back.  Oh, and I practically got stomped to death by a gigantic horse yesterday. I deserve some slack.

Finally, I’m all cried out.

I’m staring numbly at the sky, my mascara dried to my cheeks when I hear rustling and whispering from behind me.

Heaven is pointing in my direction.

And she’s standing next to Dante.

She must have seen me running and crying and she found Dante to tell him.

OhMyGodNo.  I don’t want to see him.

I start to get up to run.  But then I realize that I can’t run anywhere that he won’t be able to find me.  He knows this palace a lot better than I do.  So, I sit limply back down and wait while Dante walks across the patio to reach me.

There’s nothing else I can do.

But he can’t make me talk to him.

I’m staring at the ground and I know when he is in front of me because I see the tip of his glossy black dress shoe step into my line of vision.

I blink.

And I stare at the ground harder and with purpose.

“Reece,” he says.

I don’t answer.

What is there to say?

He lied to me by not telling be about this stupid Queen and King business. And he did that on purpose.  I can’t trust him now.

So that’s what I tell him.

And then I’m silent again.

He sighs raggedly and sits on the end of the lounger.  I pull my feet up to my chest so that I am not touching him, so that I’m in no danger whatsoever of touching him, and he sighs again.

“I’m sorry,” he tells me.  He tries to reach for my hand, but I pull it away.  “Reece.  Please.  I’m so sorry.  You don’t understand.”

He sounds like he is in pain.  But I don’t care because I’m in pain too.

“Yeah, I know,” I tell him bitterly. “Your life is so complicated.”

“It is,” he agrees.  “I can’t explain it to you.  It’s just hard.  There are so many expectations of me.  And I hate to disappoint my father.  He’s under so much pressure already.  It was just a little wave in front of the crowd. And then another wave tomorrow at the Regatta.  It wasn’t a big deal and I didn’t want to make a big deal of it. And that’s why I didn’t tell you.  You were already upset because of my accident and then you had your accident and I just couldn’t tell you.”

I’m silent.  Because I don’t know what to say.  I don’t know what to feel or think.

“I love you, not Elena.  Elena and I are over.  And I did tell my father that I’m not with Elena anymore,” he tells me.  “I told him already.  And he understands.”

“Did you tell him about me?” I ask him.  “Does he know that you’re with me?”

Silence.

I stare at him in accusation. “You didn’t!”

Dante looks at me.  “I didn’t have to, Reece.  He already knew.  He could see it from twenty miles away.  I love you. Everyone can see it. Everyone knows that.”

I’m still silent.

I want to believe him.

“I really want to believe you,” I tell him.  “But believing you isn’t even the problem anymore.  Seeing you and Elena up there in front of everyone… you looked like you belong together.  You and I…we don’t.  We aren’t a match.  Let’s just lay it out there.  I’m a farm girl from Kansas.  You are a VIP with an even more important father.  We’re not going to work.  We’re just not.”

My shoulders slump and my voice is flat.

And my arm is throbbing.

And my head is spinning.

And my heart is broken.

I just want to go home. Home to Kansas and my mom.

And I tell him so.

Dante stares at me sadly and in disbelief.

“Please don’t,” he pleads.  “Reece.  Please.  It doesn’t matter that we’re different.  You’re everything that I’m not.  That’s important, right?  You’re assertive where I’m hesitant, and I’m assured where you are afraid.  You’re strong when I’m weak and I’m hard when you’re soft.  People who are exactly the same are boring.  We’re different and I love that.  I love you.  And that is all that matters.”