Dare to Surrender

With the return of that unpleasant thought, I decided to really head to the beach. Maybe I could find a place to get a fruity drink and fall asleep—and not think. Thinking only hurt. Gabe wanted me, of that I was certain. But if he didn’t care to let me in, to share his past, mere wanting wasn’t enough.

Luckily, I found the beach easily. To my surprise, the long stretch was empty, nobody around but me and the guy who brought me towels for my chair and the occasional waitress who came by serving drinks. Soon I had my cover-up off, the sun baking my skin, and a piña colada in my hand.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, enjoying the utter peace of the moment, not allowing any thoughts to intrude. How often did I have the chance to do absolutely nothing and enjoy it? I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when a shadow suddenly covered my sun.

I blinked up to find Lucy standing over me.

“I want to talk, and we don’t have much time,” she said before I could utter a word. “Gabe’s showering and then coming to look for you.”

“What can I do for you, Lucy?”

“Glad you asked.” She settled herself on the side of my chair, pushing my legs over to make room. “You know our parents died when I was sixteen, right? Gabe was twenty-one, and he singlehandedly took over. He handled the hotels, expanded, and branched into nightclubs. He made sure Decklan didn’t have to do anything except finish college and become a cop, and he raised me, and I wasn’t easy.” She grinned, but the seriousness of the conversation wasn’t lost on me.

“I know he’s a good man.”

“Well, he’s also a tortured one. Once he got me off to school, Gabe got married.”

I sat up in my seat. “What? Gabe was married?”

“Lucy!” Her brother barked out her name like a command.

Lucy rose to her feet, going toe-to-toe with Gabe, although she only came up to the middle of his chest. “At least something’s out in the open now. You have no choice but to explain everything.”

“And you didn’t think I was coming down here to handle things myself?”

“I just didn’t want you to be able to chicken out.”

Gabe gritted his teeth and shook his head, but I couldn’t help but laugh. “I knew I was missing something by not having siblings.”

Lucy glanced at me and winked. “We can meet later and talk about what I have in mind for the club. Something tells me my brother is going to keep you occupied for a while.” With a grin, she strode off, her long hair swinging behind her.

“I’m going to throttle her,” Gabe muttered.

I lay back down, ignoring him. I hadn’t for one second forgotten I was angry with him. If he was going to talk, he was going to do it because he wanted to, not because I begged him to or his sister pushed him into it.

“Iz.” He sat down where Lucy had been, his muscular leg warm and hard against mine.

I raised a hand over my eyes like a visor to block out the harsh rays, met his gaze, and waited for him to speak.

“You’re burning. Do you have sunscreen on?” he asked in that protective voice that softened my insides.

“Yes.” I snapped my eyes closed once more.

He groaned. “We lost our parents in a car accident on the way home from my college graduation.”

I sucked in a shallow breath. He was talking, and I hadn’t expected him to dive right in. Nor did I have to imagine the guilt he must have felt. I only had to look into his tortured expression to know. I placed my hand over his, understanding he wouldn’t want pity or sympathy but determined to provide it anyway.

“I immediately stepped up to be there for Lucy. She was sixteen and needed a firm hand. Deck was nineteen, and he helped, but he was in school. He never wanted anything to do with hotels or business. Law enforcement was all he ever desired, and I didn’t want him to lose that. So I became the head of the family and made sure everyone got what they needed.”

I watched him as he spoke, so self-contained and sure of what he’d had to do. But he’d been so young, I thought. Like I’d been when I left home, but I’d had to take care of just myself. He’d held a world of responsibility on his shoulders.

“Who gave you what you needed?” I asked.

He blinked at that. And shrugged. “At first, I didn’t think about it, and then I met Krissie. I was working ungodly hours, and all I saw was someone to share my life with. I thought it would help ease the pain and loneliness.”

“What happened?” I asked into the yawning silence. I could tell this was where he didn’t want to continue.

“I should have looked more closely because she needed … so much. More time, more affection, more of everything than I had to give. Especially back then.”

I expelled a long breath. “That’s why Decklan called me another stray.”

Gabe inclined his head. “Deck only saw it from the outside. He didn’t see my faults.”

I narrowed my gaze. “What faults? You were keeping an eye on your college-age sister, sustaining your father’s business while learning it at the same time, and taking over nightclubs. I’m assuming she had a wonderful life? A roof over her head? You loved her?”

“I thought I did.”

I let that go. “So what was she missing?”

“Everything? Nothing was enough. No time I managed to get home for dinner, no short vacation… She eventually turned to another man.” He shook his head. “By the time I found out, we’d grown so far apart I couldn’t even blame her. I filed for divorce, but it turned out her knight in shining armor only wanted her as long as she was someone else’s responsibility, and he dumped her soon after.”

I winced, although I wasn’t sure I had much sympathy for a woman who’d put that kind of pressure on Gabe. Especially back then.

“She killed herself. Overdosed on pills.” His head hung low, and I drew myself up, wrapping a comforting arm around him.

“It was only then I realized she was mentally ill. I was too busy to see it.”

I opened my mouth, then closed it again, needing to think how to approach this, to get him to understand and forgive himself. “You were too young, too busy, too … many things, I’m sure. But none of them means it was your fault. She needed help and never got it. It didn’t begin when she married you, of that I’m certain.”

He nodded. “I get that. Her mother admitted as much after the funeral. She thought marrying me would make her happy and take care of her issues.”