Dark Lycan (Dark #24)(92)
Author: Christine Feehan

She had followed him-into the labyrinth of evil her father had held her captive in. She had supported his every decision, following him into danger and fighting alongside him.

He kissed her again, savoring the taste of her, a part of him wondering how he got so lucky. His world had changed almost overnight. "I love you more than life itself, Tatijana," he murmured. "Inadequate words but heartfelt."

Tatijana laid her head on his shoulder again, closing her eyes, her body relaxing into his. Sometimes, like now, for Fen, it felt as if she simply melted into him. Soft. Cool. His lady.

"Fen." Tatijana lifted her head from his chest to look into his eyes.

He felt the familiar tightening of his gut, the strange slow somersault of his heart the moment their eyes met.

"What’s next? What are you planning to do?"

"I’ve got to stop Abel. He’s after Mikhail. He plans to wipe out the entire species. We’re all connected through the prince. I don’t know what Abel stands to gain from killing Mikhail, but he’s dead set on it."

"Maybe he’s moved on," she said hopefully. "He’s lost most of his pack and now Bardolf. It would make sense for him to run."

Fen sighed, his fingers at the nape of her neck, massaging gently. Tension was creeping back in when she’d been limp and relaxed only moments earlier. "I don’t think he’s going anywhere. I think his mission was to kill Mikhail, and unfortunately for him, I ran across his tracks, as did Zev. He wasn’t expecting either of us."

"Do you really think you can kill Abel? How long has he been a Sange rau? Isn’t it true that your abilities grow with time?"

He felt the anxiety in her mind, heard the note of worry she tried to keep from her voice. "I’ve seen him in action, and I think we’re fairly evenly matched. So, yes, I believe I can kill him. It may take a little bit of luck and I know I’ll probably need recovery time after, but I’ll get the job done."

He didn’t need to pretend confidence for her, and in any case he doubted if he could deceive her. He was confident. He brushed another kiss on the top of her head for reassurance. "No matter if Abel moved on or not, I would have to hunt him down. It’s what I do. It’s who I am. I can’t let him kill whoever he pleases. He lives for that now. The rush. The blood. No one is safe, no species. He has to be destroyed."

"I know. But isn’t Zev supposed to hunt rogues?"

He couldn’t help but smile. "Abel is no rogue. He’s far more than that and you know it. The key to killing Abel is to remember what he’s like, I think. I grew up with him. I knew him as a child. The memories are vague, but I’m slowly pulling them up. He was a good man. Honorable. He didn’t have the character flaws one associates with those who choose to lose their souls. I have no idea what would make him choose to become the very thing he hunted so successfully for centuries. I ran across him once in a rare while. He was unswerving, even relentless in carrying out his duties."

"What usually tips someone over the edge?" Tatijana asked, curiosity in her mind. "You all start out with honor."

"I think it has to do with character. I’ve met Carpathians who crave power. Who enjoy killing. Remember, we are predators. We’re born to hunt. The darkness is in all of us, but just like everyone, we have character strengths and weaknesses. There were some whose paths I crossed that I was certain would turn if they didn’t find their lifemate very quickly. Abel wasn’t one of them."

"Would he turn if he did find his lifemate and she was killed somehow?"

That gave him pause. There was always that danger. In the midst of grief, of wrenching intense sorrow when the other half of one’s soul had been ripped away, insanity could ensue. Tatijana may have hit on something, although he didn’t like the idea. If Abel had become vampire upon losing his lifemate, and it was known, that would make it much more difficult for Mikhail to convince the Lycan council that any Guardian who had a lifemate would be safe from becoming the Sange rau.

"It’s possible. That’s definitely one of the most feared moments for any Carpathian. Males refer to that moment as the madness thrall. You hold light in you, Tatijana, but we’re all darkness until you provide us with that light. You’ve given me life," he tried to explain. She might be able to understand, because she had to have felt hopeless in those long, barren years prisoner in the ice caves.

"The centuries go on endlessly. There’s nothing but the kill. After a while a hunter begins to look forward to the kill because there is nothing else for him. There is no beauty in the world." He looked around him. "Look at this. The falls, the pools and forest. The colors, so vibrant. Without you, I couldn’t see any of this. I wouldn’t even notice it. You provided that for me. I had no ability to feel for others. I hunted. I killed. I fed. That was my life. That’s the life of a Carpathian male. I was luckier than most because I found the Lycans. For a long while I could see as a wolf sees, but as my abilities as a . . . Guardian grew, so did the darkness in me."

Tatijana pressed closer if it was possible, holding him tight in her arms.

"Can you imagine what it would be like for me, having been given these incredible gifts, this miracle of a lifemate who allows me to see such beauty in the world, to feel so intensely, such emotion and then have it ripped away? A madness grips, takes over. Most get through it, but not all."

"Is it really a choice then, to become the vampire?" Tatijana asked.

"I haven’t been in that situation, but because the decision has to be made, give up one’s soul or follow your lifemate, it is decreed that it is a choice. I believe, in a moment of madness, anyone can make a bad decision."

"How sad. How tragic."

"It’s both," he agreed. "But once he’s vampire, then there is no choice for the hunter. He must destroy the undead, even if it’s one’s father, brother or best friend. Vampires are wholly evil. Believe me, Tatijana, over the centuries, I’ve tried to reach one or two and pull them back."

She nuzzled his throat. "Of course you did. You had little or no emotions, but you still had it in you to try."

"We have memories. That is one thing we don’t lose. That is the one gift left to us. Our memories are vivid and very much alive. They do fade as the centuries go by, but we hold them close to us. Dimitri and I aided one another, keeping those important memories alive in one another. If not for him, I would have met the dawn a century ago. The pull of evil is so strong in a mixed blood. I think the predator is strong in both species, and when they come together it is far worse as time goes by and the gifts develop."