Dead Silence (Stillwater Trilogy #1)(47)
Author: Brenda Novak

She scowled. “This isn’t good.”

“Are you kidding? It’s the best thing I’ve felt in a long time.”

At the hoarse quality in his voice, her eyes locked with his. “I know what you want,” she whispered.

He brought his forehead to hers. “All I want is to hear you say you like this, too.”

“No.”

“You won’t say it? Or you don’t like it?”

“I don’t like it.”

He studied her, measured the feel of her body against his. “You’re lying. Fortunately I can always tell.”

“You don’t know anything.”

“You don’t have to be afraid of me, Grace. I won’t hurt you.”

“I’m not afraid of you. I’m afraid of me.”

“Why?”

Her demeanor changed instantly. “If I give you what you want, will you leave me alone?”

He could think of scarcely anything except getting rid of the scraps of fabric between them. He was rock-hard and breathing heavily. But he could tell she was looking for any excuse to write him off, and he wasn’t about to hand her one.

Ignoring her question, he said, “Let’s get you warm and dry,” and began carrying her to shore.

She tried to stop him. “No. Let’s finish this. Put it behind us.”

“Maybe someday. Not now.”

She lifted his hand to her breast, and his fingers curled instinctively around the soft flesh. “See? There you go. That’s what you’re after. I’ll give it to you. Right here.”

There was something reckless, even dangerous about her. Kennedy wanted to make love, but he knew her offer wasn’t as straightforward as it appeared.

“And then what?” he asked hesitantly.

“Then nothing. It’s over. You go brag to your friends, tell everyone in town they were right about me. Do whatever you want. But you have to promise you’ll never contact me again.”

With a grimace, he pulled his hand away. “Sorry, not interested.”

“Still too good for me?” she taunted.

He caught his breath as she wrapped her legs around him and thrust her pelvis convincingly against him. She was after something. But it definitely wasn’t sex. She wanted to diffuse the tension between them and move on. The question was why. The past? The present? Fear of intimacy? Fear of reprisal?

“Too good?” he echoed, laughing mirthlessly. “What’s wrong, Grace? Feeling threatened?”

She immediately released him and started to tread water. “Of course not. I’m just looking for any angle to get my stepfather’s Bible back.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I think you’re afraid you might actually like me if you gave yourself half a chance.”

“I’ve always liked you,” she said. “Who hasn’t?”

He knew how she’d felt about him years ago. Was it possible those feelings hadn’t completely disappeared? “You have a strange way of showing it,” he said.

“And you have children to worry about. I’m the last person you should spend your time with. Take what you want from me, return the Bible, and that’ll be the end of it.”

“Oh, now I understand,” he said.

“What?”

“You’re willing to give me a quickie here in the lake so you can prove to yourself that’s all I was after, is that it? Then you can convince yourself I’m the bastard you always thought I was.”

“If that’s the case, you should be damn glad of it.” She sounded slightly panicked. “You’re the one who’d benefit.”

He resumed pulling her to shore. “No, thanks.”

“Listen to me.”

“No. You feel bad about something, and you’re trying to make yourself feel even worse. But I won’t allow you to use me to do it.”

“Why do you care how I feel? What I think?” When she couldn’t wrench her wrist away, she splashed water at him.

He turned his face in the other direction, but he wasn’t about to let her go. No way would he risk having her swim back into the middle of the lake.

“Come on, Kennedy, I’m Grinding Gracie, remember? What was it Joe said at the pizza parlor? For a smile, I’ll spread my legs? Well, this time I’m not asking for even that much.”

“Stop it,” he snapped. “What happened in high school makes me sick.” He kept pulling her along.

“You afraid I’ll tell someone about the two of us? That it’ll ruin your spotless reputation if other people find out you wanted to get down and dirty with me?”

“I’m not worried about that.”

“So what’s wrong? Why the hesitation?”

“Maybe I don’t like your terms.”

“You don’t want to give me the Bible?”

“It has nothing to do with the Bible.”

“Then what terms?” she repeated in disbelief. “I said no strings attached. For a guy like you, how does an offer get any better than that?”

He whirled to confront her. “For a guy like me? You don’t even know me! We’re not in high school anymore, Grace.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“I think it’s hard for you to forget.” He flung the wet hair out of his eyes. “And I hate that I’m part of the reason.”

“If you don’t want me, go on about your business.” She could finally touch bottom. Using her newfound traction, she wriggled out of his grasp, but he turned around so fast her eyes widened.

Instinctively, she stepped back as his gaze wandered hungrily over her face, her mouth, her mostly bare shoulders.

“I want you all right.” He untied the fabric of her bikini top, which fell down to reveal what he’d seen in the window, and dreamed about ever since. Still, he didn’t touch her there. Lifting her chin with one finger, he brushed his lips over hers once again. “But it’s not sex I’m after,” he murmured. “I want to make love to you, Grace. In case you haven’t learned it yet, there’s a difference.”

She didn’t move, didn’t speak.

He raised his head. “Now, if you’re not back in your tent in five minutes, I’m taking that damn Bible to the police. Understood?”

Without waiting for an answer, he let her go. Then he left the water and marched off toward camp because he knew that if he stayed another second he’d take anything she was willing to give him, even if it wasn’t everything he wanted.